The Squishy Handshake upon arrival

[Morticia]

Okay I have thought about it and here is my final answer.
Ownership.
That is the difference. When you arrive at a Bed and Breakfast and the person who greets you shakes your hand, it is ownership. Welcome to MY home, we're glad you're here.
Could this be the reason the majority of our guests make their bed? Young and old?
As mentioned, some days and some guests I am not overtly "there" for them. I greet them, feed them, assist with directions, activities and some small talk.
When they leave I shake their hand again and thank them, is this expected after the initial greeting, so they make their bed? Knowing that we will see them eye to eye face to face again? I think so. I remember when I first joined the forum or the older forum someone said "a guest who makes their bed is hiding something" and I found that strange, as most of ours really do make theirs, even at check out. I walk in and find the room almost as they found it. Used towels in the tub, (not all guests, there are exceptions, like in everything).
This past weekend we had 5 rooms booked in and each one made their bed. Saved me a ton of time! But then on Sunday night we had some guests from an overseas country who only slept here and were not friendly at all, nor did they make their bed at check out, which I knew would be the case, and is fine.
I think after my psychoanalysis of this subject - after all we are in the people business, I have come to this conclusion.

Shake their hands and welcome them into YOUR place. See if you are treated any differently?.

"a guest who makes their bed is hiding something" Were they inferring that they were hiding something in the bed and that's why they made it, or just shifty in general?
.

When I heard that phrase, 'they're hiding something,' it was meant as 'it's probably a good idea to check the bed rather than just leave it be.'
Six of one, half dozen of the other. When I have checked the bed after the guest made it, I've found nothing and I've also found that the guests had an 'accident' and attempted cleanup on their own. Why they would want to pull the covers up on a soaking wet bed I don't know. But, because I had that thought in my head, I checked the bed and subsequently had to completely (down to the mattress) remake the bed with all new linens, blankets, quilts. Did they really WANT to sleep in that?
Now I'm just as happy to leave the bed as I find it. If it's made, good for them (and me); if it's not made that's ok, too. If they've covered something up? I bet I hear about it at midnight.

 

[SweetiePie]

The worst thing I've found when they've made the bed is their pajamas. I guess some people like to store them there.

 

[Tim_Toad_HLB]

The worst thing I've found when they've made the bed is their pajamas. I guess some people like to store them there..

Common courtesy and good manners seems to drive it here, but I've never understood the folks who do it on the check out morning.
Don't they realize we're stripping the bed and providing clean stuff for the next guest?
Seems like in our experience, the folks who've made a mess of the bed are not very shy or ashamed of it.
Nor should they be. We're a romantic getaway and unless most of one's guests are of post-sexual activity age, one would be wise to expect people to occassionally leave a mess.
Bodily fluids are part of the deal in our business whether accidental or not.
Its the negligent, inconsiderate use of large amounts of body oils, lotions, stinky scents, etc. that drive me coocoo for cocoa puffs.
Even when the guest makes the bed, we pull back the covers and remake the bed. Frankly, I don't want to sleep in my own mess the same night and don't expect a possibly embarrassed, female guest who had an accident during her cycle to do so either.
Plus, by catching it earlier than later, we've salvaged several sets of sheets that otherwise might have been a real chore to get clean. We'd rather spend the couple minutes stripping and remaking a soiled bed with fresh stuff than prematurely replace good linens.

 

[Proud Texan]

I start out with "Hello Folks! I'm Susie"...with 9 check-ins possible on any given day I could never remember first names (wish I could) but am really good for some odd reason at remembering where they are coming in from once I know which room they are staying in. Our favorite is when we say "Hi, I'm Susie or Johnny" and they just stand there and look at you. AND YOU ARE??? Sometimes it's like pulling teeth.
I also give everyone the right to be shy or a little nervous at check-in, you never know what you're walking into. But it really bugs me when they are still shy or awkward at their third breakfast or on their way out the door...everything about our place is laid back and friendly, shy is one thing but sometimes it's like get a personality already!.

I start out with "Hello Folks! I'm Susie"...with 9 check-ins possible on any given day I could never remember first names (wish I could)

I have got to remember to introduce myself. 5 years and I still don't do that every time.
.

I start out with "Hello Folks! I'm Susie"...with 9 check-ins possible on any given day I could never remember first names (wish I could)

I have got to remember to introduce myself. 5 years and I still don't do that every time.

Just remember that your name is Bree. It could get quite awkward if you introduce yourself as Susie.

On second thought, try it the other way THAT could be interesting!

 

[Proud Texan]

I start out with "Hello Folks! I'm Susie"...with 9 check-ins possible on any given day I could never remember first names (wish I could) but am really good for some odd reason at remembering where they are coming in from once I know which room they are staying in. Our favorite is when we say "Hi, I'm Susie or Johnny" and they just stand there and look at you. AND YOU ARE??? Sometimes it's like pulling teeth.
I also give everyone the right to be shy or a little nervous at check-in, you never know what you're walking into. But it really bugs me when they are still shy or awkward at their third breakfast or on their way out the door...everything about our place is laid back and friendly, shy is one thing but sometimes it's like get a personality already!.

Yeah, nine in one day would certainly give the remaining grey matter left in my skull a challenge. I think having just our four rooms may have been an unforeseen blessing in disguise.
Way too crazy of a time my first three decades on the planet and the others I visited during those wild days. LOL
Not that I fixate on the name thing, but I try to do a little detective work as I'm walking out to greet folks. If I have multiple arrivals and some are driving their own cars, I scope the license plate and narrow the odds on getting their names right. If its a rental and I know which folks flew in, better odds of being right in my favor.
The much better half ( sorry, I just can't bring myself to use her preferred "her royal highness" here ) and I talk about things alot between ourselves.
While never expecting everybody to absolutely fall in love with us, a modicum of camaraderie above just a tortured "morning" and the breakfast order without anything else is more appreciated by us than even getting gratuities sometimes. This really is a labor of love for us, but we're not out to turn the world into a kumbayah, hippie lovefest if folks just aren't into us for their weekend away from home.
They all get everything advertised. Polite, friendly, respectful, kind service with a sincere smile, a spotless room every single day while here, all the goodies in equal amounts to everybody else, and no forced interaction or attitude from us.
We've always felt like there are the guests who just help us pay the bills and nothing more, there are the ones a notch or two above that mutual affection wise, there are the ones we wish would never leave and there are just a few we wish had never come.
This topic category of guests fits in there somewhere near the bill payers.
What throws us for a loop and why I even started the topic is when one of the two is gushing over us, the place and the praise and camaraderie is to the ceiling while the other acts like we killed his or her cat or something.
This is quite the little dance we all do isn't it?
.

... we're not out to turn the world into a kumbayah, hippie lovefest if folks just aren't into us for their weekend away from home.

Now I'm disillusioned. I thought that's what B&Bs were supposed to be.

 

[wendydk]

I'm coming in late on this one....
And I have to say that I'm "all of the above."
Sometimes I meet them at their car, sometimes I wait til they ring the bell (and yes, sometimes they try first and then ring), sometimes I wait til I see them approaching the door and open it before they can ring. Heck, a couple of days ago multi-night guests let in the checking-in guests then called me to tell me they'd done so. I told them I was on my way, and thanks. Later we joked that they should have gone ahead with "the tour" and showed them how to use the door!
Usually I say, "Hi, I'm Kathy." They can tell me their names, or not, but I figure it's easy for them to forget mine. It's amazing how many make a sincere effort to learn and remember the ds5x2's names. Anyway, most of them then tell me their names as well, or I might say, "and you're so-and-so." Again, like Tim, four rooms, easier for me to do. (But not so easy when I have a full house!)
When I say "Hi, I'm Kathy," I usually stick out my hand and shake hands all around. But not always.... If their hands are full, or I dunno, for whatever reason sometimes the shake doesn't happen. Hugs don't usually happen on check-in, although they do sometimes with repeat guests. Or huggy guests. (But definitely NOT with business guests!) If they're hispanic or similar culture, we could do the kissy thing.
Sometimes I run their money... or not. (If they're a one night stay they only need to sign their slip anyway, and I usually remember that.) We settle what time is breakfast, do the tour, show the room. Sometimes they get the dinner spiel. Sometimes we get chatting right away and check in takes a while. Sometimes their check in takes 5 minutes and I don't see them again until breakfast.
It's all good!
=)
Kk..

Yes Coming in late as well and all of the above too! It all seems so situational anyway. Lots of kissing in Hawaii and the occasional touching noses while taking in a breath (traditional greeting). Often hugging. Having said that, we do have a rule that we follow 99.9% of the time. We greet every guest from the lanai (porch) as they are getting out of their car. We often greet them this way upon their return from an outing. We have a buzzer that alerts us that someone is driving up the drive. I only go down to help with luggage if there no one in the group is hale enough.
I do not think there is more than a handful of guests that have left Kalaekilohana without "we'll be waving- it's what we do". We wave until they have made it down the long drive and onto the road and they have driven out of sight. Our return guests look forward to it. Our new guests almost always chuckle or smile that we would do this. We even had one family that had a special wave they use when they leave the family house- it was a riot. The practical side is that it gives us a moment, no matter how busy, to reflect upon something nice about our departing guest. We almost always say something like, "They sure enjoyed the coffee", or " That was a nice visit", or "They were a lot of fun"
.

knkbnb,
I don't know why but your post nearly made me break out in tears of joy.
The passion, the sincere interest in your guests, the proper prioritization of everything from not only taking the time to make every guest feel so welcome, but making the time for that and to allow yourselves to feel good about this vocation we've all chosen.
Very touching and affirming, when so much of what gets posted is the trials and tribulations of doing this.
We try to remind ourselves every day about how lucky we are to be living out a dream, especially at our relative young age and as people who embrace what we call "the kaliedoscope of humanity" in all its colors, shapes, backgrounds, lifestyles, etc. the vibrancy that welcoming so many different people into our home provides for us.
Thanks
.

Tim....you old softy!

 

[YellowSocks]

The worst thing I've found when they've made the bed is their pajamas. I guess some people like to store them there..

The worst thing I've found when they've made the bed is their pajamas. I guess some people like to store them there.

Isn't that where they belong?

 

[YellowSocks]

The worst thing I've found when they've made the bed is their pajamas. I guess some people like to store them there..

Common courtesy and good manners seems to drive it here, but I've never understood the folks who do it on the check out morning.
Don't they realize we're stripping the bed and providing clean stuff for the next guest?
Seems like in our experience, the folks who've made a mess of the bed are not very shy or ashamed of it.
Nor should they be. We're a romantic getaway and unless most of one's guests are of post-sexual activity age, one would be wise to expect people to occassionally leave a mess.
Bodily fluids are part of the deal in our business whether accidental or not.
Its the negligent, inconsiderate use of large amounts of body oils, lotions, stinky scents, etc. that drive me coocoo for cocoa puffs.
Even when the guest makes the bed, we pull back the covers and remake the bed. Frankly, I don't want to sleep in my own mess the same night and don't expect a possibly embarrassed, female guest who had an accident during her cycle to do so either.
Plus, by catching it earlier than later, we've salvaged several sets of sheets that otherwise might have been a real chore to get clean. We'd rather spend the couple minutes stripping and remaking a soiled bed with fresh stuff than prematurely replace good linens.
.

Common courtesy and good manners seems to drive it here, but I've never understood the folks who do it on the check out morning.

Habit

 

[user 26]

forgot to mention, that there is a limp 'dead fish' handshake that i've received and i don't know why some folks do that. maybe they were not taught how to shake hands? or they don't instinctively know how? i have worked with my special needs stepson on this ...
also, i think it was bree who mentioned the 'bone crusher' i actually said to a man who did that '' are you TRYING to hurt my hand? '' before literally pulling my hand out of his grasp because he did hurt my hand and i didn't like it one bit! this was not a guest, was someone i met at a party. i figured he was trying to show how macho he is .... not cool!!

 

[MooseTrax]

The worst thing I've found when they've made the bed is their pajamas. I guess some people like to store them there..

Common courtesy and good manners seems to drive it here, but I've never understood the folks who do it on the check out morning.
Don't they realize we're stripping the bed and providing clean stuff for the next guest?
Seems like in our experience, the folks who've made a mess of the bed are not very shy or ashamed of it.
Nor should they be. We're a romantic getaway and unless most of one's guests are of post-sexual activity age, one would be wise to expect people to occassionally leave a mess.
Bodily fluids are part of the deal in our business whether accidental or not.
Its the negligent, inconsiderate use of large amounts of body oils, lotions, stinky scents, etc. that drive me coocoo for cocoa puffs.
Even when the guest makes the bed, we pull back the covers and remake the bed. Frankly, I don't want to sleep in my own mess the same night and don't expect a possibly embarrassed, female guest who had an accident during her cycle to do so either.
Plus, by catching it earlier than later, we've salvaged several sets of sheets that otherwise might have been a real chore to get clean. We'd rather spend the couple minutes stripping and remaking a soiled bed with fresh stuff than prematurely replace good linens.
.

Common courtesy and good manners seems to drive it here, but I've never understood the folks who do it on the check out morning.

Habit
.

Common courtesy and good manners seems to drive it here, but I've never understood the folks who do it on the check out morning.

Habit

dh & i never make the bed, even at home. it's such a pleasure to go someplace where someone else does all of that for us. we could easily adapt to have a fulltime housekepper for ourselves. if a b&b or inn or hotel doesn't have that service it's disappointing to come back to a messy room.

we like the full service when we travel cuz it ain't happening at home.

 

[JunieBJones (JBJ)]

The worst thing I've found when they've made the bed is their pajamas. I guess some people like to store them there..

Common courtesy and good manners seems to drive it here, but I've never understood the folks who do it on the check out morning.
Don't they realize we're stripping the bed and providing clean stuff for the next guest?
Seems like in our experience, the folks who've made a mess of the bed are not very shy or ashamed of it.
Nor should they be. We're a romantic getaway and unless most of one's guests are of post-sexual activity age, one would be wise to expect people to occassionally leave a mess.
Bodily fluids are part of the deal in our business whether accidental or not.
Its the negligent, inconsiderate use of large amounts of body oils, lotions, stinky scents, etc. that drive me coocoo for cocoa puffs.
Even when the guest makes the bed, we pull back the covers and remake the bed. Frankly, I don't want to sleep in my own mess the same night and don't expect a possibly embarrassed, female guest who had an accident during her cycle to do so either.
Plus, by catching it earlier than later, we've salvaged several sets of sheets that otherwise might have been a real chore to get clean. We'd rather spend the couple minutes stripping and remaking a soiled bed with fresh stuff than prematurely replace good linens.
.

Common courtesy and good manners seems to drive it here, but I've never understood the folks who do it on the check out morning.

Habit
.

Common courtesy and good manners seems to drive it here, but I've never understood the folks who do it on the check out morning.

Habit

dh & i never make the bed, even at home. it's such a pleasure to go someplace where someone else does all of that for us. we could easily adapt to have a fulltime housekepper for ourselves. if a b&b or inn or hotel doesn't have that service it's disappointing to come back to a messy room.

we like the full service when we travel cuz it ain't happening at home.
.

Common courtesy and good manners seems to drive it here, but I've never understood the folks who do it on the check out morning.

Habit

dh & i never make the bed, even at home. it's such a pleasure to go someplace where someone else does all of that for us. we could easily adapt to have a fulltime housekepper for ourselves. if a b&b or inn or hotel doesn't have that service it's disappointing to come back to a messy room.

we like the full service when we travel cuz it ain't happening at home.

BAD GIRL!!
You said it right there, don't you hate it when you are your worst critic? "it's disappointing to come back to a messy room" Make that bed! (I say in my best motherly tone) Okay then, no hot cocoa or tv for a week.

 

[Proud Texan]

The worst thing I've found when they've made the bed is their pajamas. I guess some people like to store them there..

The worst thing I've found when they've made the bed is their pajamas. I guess some people like to store them there.

Isn't that where they belong?
.

The worst thing I've found when they've made the bed is their pajamas. I guess some people like to store them there.

Isn't that where they belong?

Who wears pajamas?

 

[JunieBJones (JBJ)]

The worst thing I've found when they've made the bed is their pajamas. I guess some people like to store them there..

The worst thing I've found when they've made the bed is their pajamas. I guess some people like to store them there.

Isn't that where they belong?
.

The worst thing I've found when they've made the bed is their pajamas. I guess some people like to store them there.

Isn't that where they belong?

Who wears pajamas?

.

The worst thing I've found when they've made the bed is their pajamas. I guess some people like to store them there.

Isn't that where they belong?

Who wears pajamas?

This is sorta off topic, but every once in a while I will see a set of (as my Dad calls them) Flannel Neglige' on a bed and think "Gee what did he do wrong?" Who knows what people wear really, but going to a bed and breakfast and wearing ye ol' flannel neglige? Well it is just funny to me.
On ocassion they are left behind and I have to say I think maybe HE hid them and left them behind.

 

[SweetiePie]

The worst thing I've found when they've made the bed is their pajamas. I guess some people like to store them there..

The worst thing I've found when they've made the bed is their pajamas. I guess some people like to store them there.

Isn't that where they belong?
.

The worst thing I've found when they've made the bed is their pajamas. I guess some people like to store them there.

Isn't that where they belong?

Who wears pajamas?

.

The worst thing I've found when they've made the bed is their pajamas. I guess some people like to store them there.

Isn't that where they belong?

Who wears pajamas?

This is sorta off topic, but every once in a while I will see a set of (as my Dad calls them) Flannel Neglige' on a bed and think "Gee what did he do wrong?" Who knows what people wear really, but going to a bed and breakfast and wearing ye ol' flannel neglige? Well it is just funny to me.
On ocassion they are left behind and I have to say I think maybe HE hid them and left them behind.
.

You must cater to a much older crowd. We have our own collection of thongs that get overlooked under the bed.

 

[MooseTrax]

The worst thing I've found when they've made the bed is their pajamas. I guess some people like to store them there..

The worst thing I've found when they've made the bed is their pajamas. I guess some people like to store them there.

Isn't that where they belong?
.

The worst thing I've found when they've made the bed is their pajamas. I guess some people like to store them there.

Isn't that where they belong?

Who wears pajamas?

.

The worst thing I've found when they've made the bed is their pajamas. I guess some people like to store them there.

Isn't that where they belong?

Who wears pajamas?

This is sorta off topic, but every once in a while I will see a set of (as my Dad calls them) Flannel Neglige' on a bed and think "Gee what did he do wrong?" Who knows what people wear really, but going to a bed and breakfast and wearing ye ol' flannel neglige? Well it is just funny to me.
On ocassion they are left behind and I have to say I think maybe HE hid them and left them behind.
.

dh is a north woods boy. you don't want to know about him and flannel pj's.

 

[Samster]

I'm coming in late on this one....
And I have to say that I'm "all of the above."
Sometimes I meet them at their car, sometimes I wait til they ring the bell (and yes, sometimes they try first and then ring), sometimes I wait til I see them approaching the door and open it before they can ring. Heck, a couple of days ago multi-night guests let in the checking-in guests then called me to tell me they'd done so. I told them I was on my way, and thanks. Later we joked that they should have gone ahead with "the tour" and showed them how to use the door!
Usually I say, "Hi, I'm Kathy." They can tell me their names, or not, but I figure it's easy for them to forget mine. It's amazing how many make a sincere effort to learn and remember the ds5x2's names. Anyway, most of them then tell me their names as well, or I might say, "and you're so-and-so." Again, like Tim, four rooms, easier for me to do. (But not so easy when I have a full house!)
When I say "Hi, I'm Kathy," I usually stick out my hand and shake hands all around. But not always.... If their hands are full, or I dunno, for whatever reason sometimes the shake doesn't happen. Hugs don't usually happen on check-in, although they do sometimes with repeat guests. Or huggy guests. (But definitely NOT with business guests!) If they're hispanic or similar culture, we could do the kissy thing.
Sometimes I run their money... or not. (If they're a one night stay they only need to sign their slip anyway, and I usually remember that.) We settle what time is breakfast, do the tour, show the room. Sometimes they get the dinner spiel. Sometimes we get chatting right away and check in takes a while. Sometimes their check in takes 5 minutes and I don't see them again until breakfast.
It's all good!
=)
Kk..

Yes Coming in late as well and all of the above too! It all seems so situational anyway. Lots of kissing in Hawaii and the occasional touching noses while taking in a breath (traditional greeting). Often hugging. Having said that, we do have a rule that we follow 99.9% of the time. We greet every guest from the lanai (porch) as they are getting out of their car. We often greet them this way upon their return from an outing. We have a buzzer that alerts us that someone is driving up the drive. I only go down to help with luggage if there no one in the group is hale enough.
I do not think there is more than a handful of guests that have left Kalaekilohana without "we'll be waving- it's what we do". We wave until they have made it down the long drive and onto the road and they have driven out of sight. Our return guests look forward to it. Our new guests almost always chuckle or smile that we would do this. We even had one family that had a special wave they use when they leave the family house- it was a riot. The practical side is that it gives us a moment, no matter how busy, to reflect upon something nice about our departing guest. We almost always say something like, "They sure enjoyed the coffee", or " That was a nice visit", or "They were a lot of fun"
.

I'll be waving the guests goodbye on Thursday at the airport. They have been unable to arrange for a cab so I'm taking them there myself. Luckily, their flight is at 6 AM so I'll be back for breakfast before the other guests know I'm gone! I'll have to vacuum the dog hair out of the car tomorrow.

This is highly unusual, but we've done it before on the odd ocassion.
.

My dh drove a guest to the local airport very early before work last week to get a rental car. For some reason, they thought that it would be cheaper to use taxis for several days. Uh, no....so a rental car was needed. I'm guessing that most hotels wouldn't provide that service.