Who all does this w/kiddos at home?

[Samster]

Innovermyhead,
Love your username!
I opened my b&b five years ago, with my husband, and at the time a 4 year old and 1 year old. So glad I did. We have since seperated and I don't know what else I could do where I could truly meet people from around the world (not just a hello, welcome, but truly share life). I now have a 3 year old, 6 year old and 10 year old.
It is tough and sometimes the guests see that. When they say "boy you have your hands full" my reply is " it is better than getting the kids up at 6am and taking them to childcare all day, coming home having dinner, going to bed and doing it all over tomorrow". My 2 oldest just came in from school and I am here. That is one of the rewards.
We do not have an apartment, we sleep in what was once a suite and is in the attic, guest rooms are on the 1st and 2nd floors. Unfortunately we have more interaction than I would like.
We have a guest here for the month from Germany, he is great to talk to and my kids get to know about other cultures and countries in their own home ( I would love for us to be traveling, but with 3 kids, whoo that would be expensive).
I too have found that my kids can be surprisingly helpful. Most of the time the guests breakfast comes first, but often it can come at the same time. Many guests have said how nice it is for them to spend time with children while visiting our city. It creates (hopefully) a pleasant memorable experience. Many guests will write to me later and ask about the children.
I have even had a couple guests who send the children birthday cards.
I feel that the toughest part of having a b&b with kids is NEVER having a break. I don't get to leave home and go to work or leave work and go home. Sometimes I force myself to do something away from the b&b for an afternoon and leave the cell phone at home.
you are welcome to private message me with any specific questions..

Kudos to you who are doing this on your own & with children still at home! I admire you greatly.

 

[birdwatcher]

We moved into our B & B with two teenagers...THAT WAS AN EXPERIENCE.
The only saving grace was that we had 2 houses on the same property and the 2nd house had 5 bdr & 5bth,no it wasn't the luxurious house with a hot tub or such,didn't even have a dishwasher. But it was nice and we pretty much sold rooms in that house or we rented the whole house which could sleep around 16 and if you counted the pull out couch in the living room 18.We had one room in the house that we had as a suite but that was the only room that we rented in the main house and if we did they we would try to make sure that the kids didn't make too much noise coming in or stomping upstairs cause the suite was downstairs. Anyway it had its challenges but also its advantages. I think it may be easier with younger kids this way you can pretty much train them and not have habbits that ment nothing if you didn't have a B & b like -don't eat this (its for the guests)arguing or playing their music too loud etc...

 

[Breakfast Diva]

Thank you all for sharing with everyone the joys and challenges you face when innkeeping with a family. You all have my admiration.
A couple of you are now single innkeepers. Do you feel that the stresses of being innkeepers played a major role in your relationships with your spouses?.

Thank you all for sharing with everyone the joys and challenges you face when innkeeping with a family. You all have my admiration.
A couple of you are now single innkeepers. Do you feel that the stresses of being innkeepers played a major role in your relationships with your spouses?

No, not really... I mean, yes, there was stress, but I would not say it was the cause of our separation, which may have been inevitable as the kids got older and my perspective changed. (You can email if you'd like more detail.)
I know dh misses the B&B, and would come back and help out if I'd let him. (I had a guest who told me her friend operates her B&B with her ex-husand! Not for me...)
=)
Kk.
.

Thanks Domsmom & YS for your candid answers. I think this kind of conversation is invaluable to those people who are considering opening/owning a b&b. I know our first year of being innkeepers was a big strain on our relationship. Both of us are very independent (ok, stubborn!) and it was quite difficult that first year until we got into our groove. It was quite a change from our old lives where we rarely saw each other to then having a business where we were together 24 hours a day and trying to figure out how to get it all done without nagging or hovering over each other.
I think a lesson here for aspirings could be that if you are in a rocky relationship, the stresses of having a b&b sure won't help.

 

[domsmom]

Thank you all for sharing with everyone the joys and challenges you face when innkeeping with a family. You all have my admiration.
A couple of you are now single innkeepers. Do you feel that the stresses of being innkeepers played a major role in your relationships with your spouses?.

Thank you all for sharing with everyone the joys and challenges you face when innkeeping with a family. You all have my admiration.
A couple of you are now single innkeepers. Do you feel that the stresses of being innkeepers played a major role in your relationships with your spouses?

No, not really... I mean, yes, there was stress, but I would not say it was the cause of our separation, which may have been inevitable as the kids got older and my perspective changed. (You can email if you'd like more detail.)
I know dh misses the B&B, and would come back and help out if I'd let him. (I had a guest who told me her friend operates her B&B with her ex-husand! Not for me...)
=)
Kk.
.

Thanks Domsmom & YS for your candid answers. I think this kind of conversation is invaluable to those people who are considering opening/owning a b&b. I know our first year of being innkeepers was a big strain on our relationship. Both of us are very independent (ok, stubborn!) and it was quite difficult that first year until we got into our groove. It was quite a change from our old lives where we rarely saw each other to then having a business where we were together 24 hours a day and trying to figure out how to get it all done without nagging or hovering over each other.
I think a lesson here for aspirings could be that if you are in a rocky relationship, the stresses of having a b&b sure won't help.
.

As true as what you say is, if you really love the b&b and you are in a rocky relationship, that may end, there is a grace in knowing that your livelihood is something that you love. It would be far worse to have a "job" you are unhappy with and a marriage end.

 

[domsmom]

We moved into our B & B with two teenagers...THAT WAS AN EXPERIENCE.
The only saving grace was that we had 2 houses on the same property and the 2nd house had 5 bdr & 5bth,no it wasn't the luxurious house with a hot tub or such,didn't even have a dishwasher. But it was nice and we pretty much sold rooms in that house or we rented the whole house which could sleep around 16 and if you counted the pull out couch in the living room 18.We had one room in the house that we had as a suite but that was the only room that we rented in the main house and if we did they we would try to make sure that the kids didn't make too much noise coming in or stomping upstairs cause the suite was downstairs. Anyway it had its challenges but also its advantages. I think it may be easier with younger kids this way you can pretty much train them and not have habbits that ment nothing if you didn't have a B & b like -don't eat this (its for the guests)arguing or playing their music too loud etc....

I will say that my youngest 2 do not know any different kind of life. Our rooms are all different countries and our private bedroom/bath is on the 3rd floor. When we are not full with guests, and I still have a bath to clean, my children will say "which bathroom can I use?" It still makes me laugh that I am perhaps the only mother in the world that sends her kids to other countries to go to the bathroom (as my answer may be "China, Zimbabwe, New Zealand or Ireland").

 

[Country Girl]

From my perspective it really helped our marriage. I was a stay-at-home mom (best job I've ever had) and my dh was a high powered executive. When I took on this venture he thought of it as my "hobby".

As the years went on and the business grew he saw me as a savvy business woman. Last year when the economy tanked it was the income from the B&B that kept our heads above water. Today he is talks more about my accomplishments than his own (which are many). When we look towards the future and what's next for us it will probably be a business that is an offspring of the B&B.

 

[YellowSocks]

Thank you all for sharing with everyone the joys and challenges you face when innkeeping with a family. You all have my admiration.
A couple of you are now single innkeepers. Do you feel that the stresses of being innkeepers played a major role in your relationships with your spouses?.

Thank you all for sharing with everyone the joys and challenges you face when innkeeping with a family. You all have my admiration.
A couple of you are now single innkeepers. Do you feel that the stresses of being innkeepers played a major role in your relationships with your spouses?

No, not really... I mean, yes, there was stress, but I would not say it was the cause of our separation, which may have been inevitable as the kids got older and my perspective changed. (You can email if you'd like more detail.)
I know dh misses the B&B, and would come back and help out if I'd let him. (I had a guest who told me her friend operates her B&B with her ex-husand! Not for me...)
=)
Kk.
.

Thanks Domsmom & YS for your candid answers. I think this kind of conversation is invaluable to those people who are considering opening/owning a b&b. I know our first year of being innkeepers was a big strain on our relationship. Both of us are very independent (ok, stubborn!) and it was quite difficult that first year until we got into our groove. It was quite a change from our old lives where we rarely saw each other to then having a business where we were together 24 hours a day and trying to figure out how to get it all done without nagging or hovering over each other.
I think a lesson here for aspirings could be that if you are in a rocky relationship, the stresses of having a b&b sure won't help.
.

As true as what you say is, if you really love the b&b and you are in a rocky relationship, that may end, there is a grace in knowing that your livelihood is something that you love. It would be far worse to have a "job" you are unhappy with and a marriage end.
.

As true as what you say is, if you really love the b&b and you are in a rocky relationship, that may end, there is a grace in knowing that your livelihood is something that you love. It would be far worse to have a "job" you are unhappy with and a marriage end.

YES!! I have an awesome job and income to support my kids!
=)
Kk.

 

[YellowSocks]

We moved into our B & B with two teenagers...THAT WAS AN EXPERIENCE.
The only saving grace was that we had 2 houses on the same property and the 2nd house had 5 bdr & 5bth,no it wasn't the luxurious house with a hot tub or such,didn't even have a dishwasher. But it was nice and we pretty much sold rooms in that house or we rented the whole house which could sleep around 16 and if you counted the pull out couch in the living room 18.We had one room in the house that we had as a suite but that was the only room that we rented in the main house and if we did they we would try to make sure that the kids didn't make too much noise coming in or stomping upstairs cause the suite was downstairs. Anyway it had its challenges but also its advantages. I think it may be easier with younger kids this way you can pretty much train them and not have habbits that ment nothing if you didn't have a B & b like -don't eat this (its for the guests)arguing or playing their music too loud etc....

I will say that my youngest 2 do not know any different kind of life. Our rooms are all different countries and our private bedroom/bath is on the 3rd floor. When we are not full with guests, and I still have a bath to clean, my children will say "which bathroom can I use?" It still makes me laugh that I am perhaps the only mother in the world that sends her kids to other countries to go to the bathroom (as my answer may be "China, Zimbabwe, New Zealand or Ireland").

.

I will say that my youngest 2 do not know any different kind of life. Our rooms are all different countries and our private bedroom/bath is on the 3rd floor. When we are not full with guests, and I still have a bath to clean, my children will say "which bathroom can I use?" It still makes me laugh that I am perhaps the only mother in the world that sends her kids to other countries to go to the bathroom (as my answer may be "China, Zimbabwe, New Zealand or Ireland").

I send mine to college! Usually they go to the History Department, but sometimes they go to English. (Our private bathroom is in the basement.)
=)
Kk.

 

[Breakfast Diva]

From my perspective it really helped our marriage. I was a stay-at-home mom (best job I've ever had) and my dh was a high powered executive. When I took on this venture he thought of it as my "hobby".

As the years went on and the business grew he saw me as a savvy business woman. Last year when the economy tanked it was the income from the B&B that kept our heads above water. Today he is talks more about my accomplishments than his own (which are many). When we look towards the future and what's next for us it will probably be a business that is an offspring of the B&B..

What a wonderful story you have! Thanks for sharing. I

 

[JBloggs]

Good for you Red Handed J, good comments.

 

[JBloggs]

It's not easy.

 

[domsmom]

Thank you all for sharing with everyone the joys and challenges you face when innkeeping with a family. You all have my admiration.
A couple of you are now single innkeepers. Do you feel that the stresses of being innkeepers played a major role in your relationships with your spouses?.

My marriage was falling apart before I became an innkeeper, and for a year or so I was a stay home mom (prior to a house fire, which lead to the b&b). I became aware that my spouse was not going to help support us and needed an income where I could still raise my kids. The b&b answered that need. It is stressful, but it is not the b&b that contributed to the dissolution of my marriage. Financially I am not sure it will work much longer, simply because the winter is too slow. We will see, I have a marketing intern at the moment and am putting forth a tremendous amount of effort in marketing my place.
.

We will see, I have a marketing intern at the moment and am putting forth a tremendous amount of effort in marketing my place.

Oooh! I'm jealous!!!
=)
Kk.
.

KK...
do you have a nearby college? The young lady who is helping me actually contacted me asking if I was hiring. I did not have the budget to "hire" her, and was in the process of looking for an intern. I pay her a small stipend as she is learning. She is gaining an immense amount of experience that she can only get by actually working in this kind of business. She is able to do what time does not allow me to and provides and extra brain. If you are in an area where there are people looking for work, even college grads, you may be able to put an ad out there. Just know that an intern is learning, you are not hiring someone who knows what they are doing-in some cases we learn together.

 

[gillumhouse]

Worked 2 FT jobs for a while while we still had 5 of the 6 at home, then dropped to 1 ft and 1 pt and did the Room Mother/Chaperone/PTA bit. FT was graveyard shift. Then did FT days (2-legged animals were old enough to be all over the neighborhood all day in summer anyway) and PT graveyard 3 nights on my days off with the last 4 at home. I think the B & B would have been easier. We did U-pick and canned veggies, etc also to stretch $$$ (DH was in art school for 4 years and then did another 2 years sharpening his pre-press printing skills when he decided it was time to go back to work after trying to make it as an artist for 4 years). Youngest kid started with chores at 3 yrs old.
After middle son returned home a new rule was created - the door swings one way and one way only. Once you leave - you are GONE. Stuck to it too! (Glad the test came in April instead of November.)

 

[innovermyhead]

I can't thank you guys enough for all the input. I am thrilled to read about people who are and have done this. My boys are 14 & 8. The 14 year old has just started high school (what kind of parent moves their kid during HS??) the 8 year old doesn't worry me so much at that age he will roll with the punches easier. My husband thinks if we end up moving now will be a lot better than later after he meets what he perceives to be the love of his life (oh, HS romance - I can remember vaguely). But if you hadn't already guessed I'm a worrier and am putting the cart before the horse in the sense that we have yet to even see this place in person.
The boys are great, fairly well traveled and can be quite charming but will definitely need space to be messy and to bicker and generally be rotten boys. So I guess the answer is to look until we find something that looks like it can work for our family.

 

[JBloggs]

Innovermyhead...wanted to add something I had forgotten to say. Work experience. I know YS mentioned, but her boys are 6, I mean sure they can add that to their resume later on and I hope they do...but for a highschooler this is a great time to utilize them for work experience and give them that extra boost for later on. Picture his resume "Working at McDonald's or asst innkeeper?" and listing all the various skills. I mean there are such a variety of tasks you could have your son lend a hand with and who knows where that will lead him later on!
Just wanted to also give a bit of encouragement and add we would not change a thing. It has been a great experience for our family. It is where we are right now and we are happy where we are. Sure we dream of no guests when we are swamped, but it keeps us busy and focused.