I posted on an earlier thread about my perception that, when other things are going crazy in people's lives, they focus on diet as a thing they can control.
Based on recommendations from this forum, we changed our language regarding diet: "please let us know of any dietary restrictions you have, and we will attempt to accommodate them."
Since Breakfast is the one part of their stay they can "customize" (they can hardly demand hypo-allergenic oat-wheat-barley-husk stuffed mattresses), food is important.
And sometimes, the requests are legitimate. I have a good friend from my previous life who told me that he and his family rarely stayed at B&Bs because the breakfasts invariably were starch heavy (regardless of the dish the starch was in), and since both sides of the family suffered from celiac disease, trying to negotiate a suitable breakfast was just more trouble than it was worth.
So we take dietary requests seriously and attempt to accommodate them.
Last winter, we had a lesbian couple staying with us, one of whom had a long list of dietary no-nos. I bent over backwards to make a breakfast that she could eat. My first breakfast for her was a stuffed tomato with eggs and rice and other good things. When I brought it too the table, she turned white. "Oh," she said, "I guess I didn't tell you that I'm allergic to tomatoes."
"No, you didn't," I replied. "How about I fry you up a mess of of bacon and eggs?"
"That'll be fine," she said.
They became good friends, and we've laughed about that episode.
One of the things we have learned about people with dietary restrictions is that they fall into two camps: the demanding and the embarrassed.
We do our best to accommodate the former, and we bend over backwards to make the latter feel welcome..
I put it in three categories, the health, the choice and the demanding.
The health are those whos restrictions related to real health concerns. Gluten-free, lactoste-free, milk-free, peanut/nut free and diabetics. These are real health concerns, something that can affect their lives. These are the bend-over backwards people.
The choice are those whos restrictions are related to personal long term choice. Vegetarians, vegans, no pork. These are the accommodate as best as we can people. (Vegans are often the most difficult to accommodate, since you have to check all the labels for traces of egg or milk products and not all of them are called egg or milk in the ingredient list.)
The demanding are those who don't really have restrictions, just a long list of things that they don't like and/or they want something specific for breakfast. These are the accommodate if we can, but otherwise enjoy the cereal and toast people.
Where I object is when people are in the demanding group and try to make it sound as if they are part of the health group. The fake "I'm allergic to eggs" but eat egg products (or say they are allergic to eggs, which is mostly a childrens disease that most people grow out of, and can't tell you if they are only allergic to chicken eggs, but not duck eggs.)
I don't personally like chocolate. Am I going to tell the host? Probably not. I just won't eat items that are chocolate. It's a personal preference. You won't see me eating a chocolate croissant... but I will certainly find something on the table to eat. Doesn't mean that I have to tell the host or bother them. I'm pretty sure I won't walk away from the table starving.
.