Rebuilding a Life One Room at a Time

[Samster]

Just to clarify....I didn't change my mind about innkeeping...just the uncertainty of the particular move I was about to make..

eyevea, this sounds like a very plausable plan B! The fact that not only is your rental house nearby, but that this possible new house is rented by students currently, it means that even with the worst case scenario, you'd be able to rent the house if the B&B wasn't what you wanted or expected. When considering this new house, make sure that there are no shared baths for the guests and that there is enough personal space for you/innkeepers.
Please, so keep us informed. I'm impressed that even with an onslaught of negative (most justified) comments and eye opening posts, you haven't given up your desire to continue forward toward being an innkeeper. You do have determination! Now you really need to take an aspiring innkeeper course. They may cover much of what you already know, but there will also be gems of information which could really make a difference.
.

This all has been very interesting. If anyone read my original post, you would see that I wasn't looking for advice at all about what it would be like to own and run this kind of business. I have known for a long time how hard people have to work and that never scared us. My husband just finished cooking school and has been planning and practicing breakfast recipes for months, I have a good head for business. We have a lot of avenues for advertising that hadn't been pursued by the place, and their books indicated that we could live pretty comfortably.
I can't say that any of the posts were "eye opening." More like confirmation of what I already knew to be true.
We also knew that we'd have to plan vacations and time to visit our kids who live all over the place. We also have income from our rental property and both will have small pensions when the time is right.
We were ready in all ways except the emotional lack of security. My original post asked if anyone else had ever experienced cold feet and how they handled. it.
Thank you all for your advice. Only a couple of you addressed the actual question in my original post....but it has been interesting seeing what you all think and how you got to where you are.
None of you would be posting here if you really didn't like what you do and everyone needs a chance to vent to people who can identify with what you're doing.
I'll hang around because I think you're all great and full of experiences and information. Thanks to all of you.
.

Actually, if we all had all of the answers about this type of business, we wouldn't be here. We learn a lot from sharing with each other.
Trust me, it will be tougher than you think even with a small biz.

 

[Samster]

i feel the need to say this even though it's a downer.
when one part of the innkeeping couple is keeping an outside job for income, insurance and security .... please do keep in the back of your mind that layoffs and closings and relocations happen ... and secure jobs sometimes disappear ... jobs that seemed like you could stay in them for a lifetime. we have witnessed it here in our little innkeeping community.
okay ... i've said it..

Very good point. My dh's company had a HUGE layoff early this year and luckily he survived. He has already been laid off twice in the past from high tech jobs.

 

[Samster]

Where to begin?
We are in a university town and it does bring in business. Not just on graduation day, however not year 'round either. And you want to be as close as possible. We are 2-3 blocks away. The B&B only 2-1/2 miles away has a much harder time getting the university guests. I could walk there, but it's "south of town!" Two blocks in the other direction is a seminary which brings us a very large amount of business. When they have a four day seminar I get a lot of calls "are you walking distance?" Guests will stay with me before the other B&B's because I'm the closest.
I just scanned all 104 posts on the other thread. You're asking about giving up your security. This is a valid thing to be concerned about.
There is no security.
You just don't know what's going to happen.
It could be wonderful, or it could flop. You could love the life or you could be exhausted and sell it for a loss. That is the nature of being a business owner, I think. Lots of people work hard. But we owners take on the risk, and therefore we deserve the rewards.
I know an innkeeper (in her 60's) that had to have emergency heart surgery, had a stent put in. I don't know how much longer she'll be able to stay in business. She had to turn away rooms, which just made her sick.
We were living in a dingy house on a crappy street in a very charming and historic town in Maryland. We sold before the housing bubble burst, used equity and my inheritance to buy and renovate a nice house in a wonderful town. I figured even if the B&B went bust, at least we would be living in a place we like, near family, in a nice house. It wasn't that hard of a jump for us.
We had a five year plan that dh would work in the factory, providing health insurance. 3-1/2 years into it he got laid off. COBRA is picked up by the government just now, so we're only paying $350 in insurance... for now. Soon I'll be paying over $1000 a month.
Then a few weeks ago dh decided to chase a midlife fantasy and move to another state and now I'm running my B&B alone. Well, with the help of my twin boys (the ds6x2). On that other thread, where they talk about long days... well... my first year I worked 15-18 hours a day all summer. Last year I swore I'd take at least Monday afternoons off. Last Monday I sat at the lake and I was too tired to fish. I'm back to 15-18 hours a day when guests are here.
And I have a LOT of support from friends and family.
But full house last week, breakfast at 7 a.m. for six days straight. Then they all left... The laundry yesterday took me ALL day (and yes, I have a high efficiency dryer that dries loads as fast as the washer washes them.) Time wise, so what, it's all day? But I find laundry to be especially exhausting... something about all that ironing and standing and carrying that wipes me out.
But I love what I'm doing. I love my B&B, my house, my guests, my life. In the summer I work my buns off. In the winter I go ice skating every Thursday and work hard when the guests come (weekends!). I am frugal and don't need to earn a ton, and I only have the mortgage and line of credit, so I am able to make a decent living at this.
Was it a risk? Yes!
Worth it? Yes!
Do I have any idea what's going to happen next? Nope! (And now that dh is gone I really need to get that emergency plan in place.)
No risk. No reward. Your choice to make.
=)
Kk..

You never know what life's going to throw at you. You're strong....you'll be able to hang in there! Take care of YOU.

 

[Samster]

Interesting! Thanks for the heads up!

 

[wendydk]

Where to begin?
We are in a university town and it does bring in business. Not just on graduation day, however not year 'round either. And you want to be as close as possible. We are 2-3 blocks away. The B&B only 2-1/2 miles away has a much harder time getting the university guests. I could walk there, but it's "south of town!" Two blocks in the other direction is a seminary which brings us a very large amount of business. When they have a four day seminar I get a lot of calls "are you walking distance?" Guests will stay with me before the other B&B's because I'm the closest.
I just scanned all 104 posts on the other thread. You're asking about giving up your security. This is a valid thing to be concerned about.
There is no security.
You just don't know what's going to happen.
It could be wonderful, or it could flop. You could love the life or you could be exhausted and sell it for a loss. That is the nature of being a business owner, I think. Lots of people work hard. But we owners take on the risk, and therefore we deserve the rewards.
I know an innkeeper (in her 60's) that had to have emergency heart surgery, had a stent put in. I don't know how much longer she'll be able to stay in business. She had to turn away rooms, which just made her sick.
We were living in a dingy house on a crappy street in a very charming and historic town in Maryland. We sold before the housing bubble burst, used equity and my inheritance to buy and renovate a nice house in a wonderful town. I figured even if the B&B went bust, at least we would be living in a place we like, near family, in a nice house. It wasn't that hard of a jump for us.
We had a five year plan that dh would work in the factory, providing health insurance. 3-1/2 years into it he got laid off. COBRA is picked up by the government just now, so we're only paying $350 in insurance... for now. Soon I'll be paying over $1000 a month.
Then a few weeks ago dh decided to chase a midlife fantasy and move to another state and now I'm running my B&B alone. Well, with the help of my twin boys (the ds6x2). On that other thread, where they talk about long days... well... my first year I worked 15-18 hours a day all summer. Last year I swore I'd take at least Monday afternoons off. Last Monday I sat at the lake and I was too tired to fish. I'm back to 15-18 hours a day when guests are here.
And I have a LOT of support from friends and family.
But full house last week, breakfast at 7 a.m. for six days straight. Then they all left... The laundry yesterday took me ALL day (and yes, I have a high efficiency dryer that dries loads as fast as the washer washes them.) Time wise, so what, it's all day? But I find laundry to be especially exhausting... something about all that ironing and standing and carrying that wipes me out.
But I love what I'm doing. I love my B&B, my house, my guests, my life. In the summer I work my buns off. In the winter I go ice skating every Thursday and work hard when the guests come (weekends!). I am frugal and don't need to earn a ton, and I only have the mortgage and line of credit, so I am able to make a decent living at this.
Was it a risk? Yes!
Worth it? Yes!
Do I have any idea what's going to happen next? Nope! (And now that dh is gone I really need to get that emergency plan in place.)
No risk. No reward. Your choice to make.
=)
Kk..

Then a few weeks ago dh decided to chase a midlife fantasy and move to another state and now I'm running my B&B alone.

What?? Yellow Socks, I'm sorry.

 

[IronGate]

Where to begin?
We are in a university town and it does bring in business. Not just on graduation day, however not year 'round either. And you want to be as close as possible. We are 2-3 blocks away. The B&B only 2-1/2 miles away has a much harder time getting the university guests. I could walk there, but it's "south of town!" Two blocks in the other direction is a seminary which brings us a very large amount of business. When they have a four day seminar I get a lot of calls "are you walking distance?" Guests will stay with me before the other B&B's because I'm the closest.
I just scanned all 104 posts on the other thread. You're asking about giving up your security. This is a valid thing to be concerned about.
There is no security.
You just don't know what's going to happen.
It could be wonderful, or it could flop. You could love the life or you could be exhausted and sell it for a loss. That is the nature of being a business owner, I think. Lots of people work hard. But we owners take on the risk, and therefore we deserve the rewards.
I know an innkeeper (in her 60's) that had to have emergency heart surgery, had a stent put in. I don't know how much longer she'll be able to stay in business. She had to turn away rooms, which just made her sick.
We were living in a dingy house on a crappy street in a very charming and historic town in Maryland. We sold before the housing bubble burst, used equity and my inheritance to buy and renovate a nice house in a wonderful town. I figured even if the B&B went bust, at least we would be living in a place we like, near family, in a nice house. It wasn't that hard of a jump for us.
We had a five year plan that dh would work in the factory, providing health insurance. 3-1/2 years into it he got laid off. COBRA is picked up by the government just now, so we're only paying $350 in insurance... for now. Soon I'll be paying over $1000 a month.
Then a few weeks ago dh decided to chase a midlife fantasy and move to another state and now I'm running my B&B alone. Well, with the help of my twin boys (the ds6x2). On that other thread, where they talk about long days... well... my first year I worked 15-18 hours a day all summer. Last year I swore I'd take at least Monday afternoons off. Last Monday I sat at the lake and I was too tired to fish. I'm back to 15-18 hours a day when guests are here.
And I have a LOT of support from friends and family.
But full house last week, breakfast at 7 a.m. for six days straight. Then they all left... The laundry yesterday took me ALL day (and yes, I have a high efficiency dryer that dries loads as fast as the washer washes them.) Time wise, so what, it's all day? But I find laundry to be especially exhausting... something about all that ironing and standing and carrying that wipes me out.
But I love what I'm doing. I love my B&B, my house, my guests, my life. In the summer I work my buns off. In the winter I go ice skating every Thursday and work hard when the guests come (weekends!). I am frugal and don't need to earn a ton, and I only have the mortgage and line of credit, so I am able to make a decent living at this.
Was it a risk? Yes!
Worth it? Yes!
Do I have any idea what's going to happen next? Nope! (And now that dh is gone I really need to get that emergency plan in place.)
No risk. No reward. Your choice to make.
=)
Kk..

Gosh, you know, since I've been "back," I've missed your input. I figured you were super busy taking everything to the next level, but this news . . . well, suffice to say, I'm very sorry. Know, however, that everyone here wants to help, even if the only thing we can do is send you a little psychic energy to help lift you up. You deserve it by the truckload.

 

[Skamokawa]

Where to begin?
We are in a university town and it does bring in business. Not just on graduation day, however not year 'round either. And you want to be as close as possible. We are 2-3 blocks away. The B&B only 2-1/2 miles away has a much harder time getting the university guests. I could walk there, but it's "south of town!" Two blocks in the other direction is a seminary which brings us a very large amount of business. When they have a four day seminar I get a lot of calls "are you walking distance?" Guests will stay with me before the other B&B's because I'm the closest.
I just scanned all 104 posts on the other thread. You're asking about giving up your security. This is a valid thing to be concerned about.
There is no security.
You just don't know what's going to happen.
It could be wonderful, or it could flop. You could love the life or you could be exhausted and sell it for a loss. That is the nature of being a business owner, I think. Lots of people work hard. But we owners take on the risk, and therefore we deserve the rewards.
I know an innkeeper (in her 60's) that had to have emergency heart surgery, had a stent put in. I don't know how much longer she'll be able to stay in business. She had to turn away rooms, which just made her sick.
We were living in a dingy house on a crappy street in a very charming and historic town in Maryland. We sold before the housing bubble burst, used equity and my inheritance to buy and renovate a nice house in a wonderful town. I figured even if the B&B went bust, at least we would be living in a place we like, near family, in a nice house. It wasn't that hard of a jump for us.
We had a five year plan that dh would work in the factory, providing health insurance. 3-1/2 years into it he got laid off. COBRA is picked up by the government just now, so we're only paying $350 in insurance... for now. Soon I'll be paying over $1000 a month.
Then a few weeks ago dh decided to chase a midlife fantasy and move to another state and now I'm running my B&B alone. Well, with the help of my twin boys (the ds6x2). On that other thread, where they talk about long days... well... my first year I worked 15-18 hours a day all summer. Last year I swore I'd take at least Monday afternoons off. Last Monday I sat at the lake and I was too tired to fish. I'm back to 15-18 hours a day when guests are here.
And I have a LOT of support from friends and family.
But full house last week, breakfast at 7 a.m. for six days straight. Then they all left... The laundry yesterday took me ALL day (and yes, I have a high efficiency dryer that dries loads as fast as the washer washes them.) Time wise, so what, it's all day? But I find laundry to be especially exhausting... something about all that ironing and standing and carrying that wipes me out.
But I love what I'm doing. I love my B&B, my house, my guests, my life. In the summer I work my buns off. In the winter I go ice skating every Thursday and work hard when the guests come (weekends!). I am frugal and don't need to earn a ton, and I only have the mortgage and line of credit, so I am able to make a decent living at this.
Was it a risk? Yes!
Worth it? Yes!
Do I have any idea what's going to happen next? Nope! (And now that dh is gone I really need to get that emergency plan in place.)
No risk. No reward. Your choice to make.
=)
Kk..

Hugs. Post when you have time,
KathleenM

 

[eyevea]

Where to begin?
We are in a university town and it does bring in business. Not just on graduation day, however not year 'round either. And you want to be as close as possible. We are 2-3 blocks away. The B&B only 2-1/2 miles away has a much harder time getting the university guests. I could walk there, but it's "south of town!" Two blocks in the other direction is a seminary which brings us a very large amount of business. When they have a four day seminar I get a lot of calls "are you walking distance?" Guests will stay with me before the other B&B's because I'm the closest.
I just scanned all 104 posts on the other thread. You're asking about giving up your security. This is a valid thing to be concerned about.
There is no security.
You just don't know what's going to happen.
It could be wonderful, or it could flop. You could love the life or you could be exhausted and sell it for a loss. That is the nature of being a business owner, I think. Lots of people work hard. But we owners take on the risk, and therefore we deserve the rewards.
I know an innkeeper (in her 60's) that had to have emergency heart surgery, had a stent put in. I don't know how much longer she'll be able to stay in business. She had to turn away rooms, which just made her sick.
We were living in a dingy house on a crappy street in a very charming and historic town in Maryland. We sold before the housing bubble burst, used equity and my inheritance to buy and renovate a nice house in a wonderful town. I figured even if the B&B went bust, at least we would be living in a place we like, near family, in a nice house. It wasn't that hard of a jump for us.
We had a five year plan that dh would work in the factory, providing health insurance. 3-1/2 years into it he got laid off. COBRA is picked up by the government just now, so we're only paying $350 in insurance... for now. Soon I'll be paying over $1000 a month.
Then a few weeks ago dh decided to chase a midlife fantasy and move to another state and now I'm running my B&B alone. Well, with the help of my twin boys (the ds6x2). On that other thread, where they talk about long days... well... my first year I worked 15-18 hours a day all summer. Last year I swore I'd take at least Monday afternoons off. Last Monday I sat at the lake and I was too tired to fish. I'm back to 15-18 hours a day when guests are here.
And I have a LOT of support from friends and family.
But full house last week, breakfast at 7 a.m. for six days straight. Then they all left... The laundry yesterday took me ALL day (and yes, I have a high efficiency dryer that dries loads as fast as the washer washes them.) Time wise, so what, it's all day? But I find laundry to be especially exhausting... something about all that ironing and standing and carrying that wipes me out.
But I love what I'm doing. I love my B&B, my house, my guests, my life. In the summer I work my buns off. In the winter I go ice skating every Thursday and work hard when the guests come (weekends!). I am frugal and don't need to earn a ton, and I only have the mortgage and line of credit, so I am able to make a decent living at this.
Was it a risk? Yes!
Worth it? Yes!
Do I have any idea what's going to happen next? Nope! (And now that dh is gone I really need to get that emergency plan in place.)
No risk. No reward. Your choice to make.
=)
Kk..

I'm so sorry to hear about this. I'm sending you my psychic energy for a great future.

 

[MTLLodge]

Sorry to hear this (hugs) to you and the boys.

 

[egoodell]

Where to begin?
We are in a university town and it does bring in business. Not just on graduation day, however not year 'round either. And you want to be as close as possible. We are 2-3 blocks away. The B&B only 2-1/2 miles away has a much harder time getting the university guests. I could walk there, but it's "south of town!" Two blocks in the other direction is a seminary which brings us a very large amount of business. When they have a four day seminar I get a lot of calls "are you walking distance?" Guests will stay with me before the other B&B's because I'm the closest.
I just scanned all 104 posts on the other thread. You're asking about giving up your security. This is a valid thing to be concerned about.
There is no security.
You just don't know what's going to happen.
It could be wonderful, or it could flop. You could love the life or you could be exhausted and sell it for a loss. That is the nature of being a business owner, I think. Lots of people work hard. But we owners take on the risk, and therefore we deserve the rewards.
I know an innkeeper (in her 60's) that had to have emergency heart surgery, had a stent put in. I don't know how much longer she'll be able to stay in business. She had to turn away rooms, which just made her sick.
We were living in a dingy house on a crappy street in a very charming and historic town in Maryland. We sold before the housing bubble burst, used equity and my inheritance to buy and renovate a nice house in a wonderful town. I figured even if the B&B went bust, at least we would be living in a place we like, near family, in a nice house. It wasn't that hard of a jump for us.
We had a five year plan that dh would work in the factory, providing health insurance. 3-1/2 years into it he got laid off. COBRA is picked up by the government just now, so we're only paying $350 in insurance... for now. Soon I'll be paying over $1000 a month.
Then a few weeks ago dh decided to chase a midlife fantasy and move to another state and now I'm running my B&B alone. Well, with the help of my twin boys (the ds6x2). On that other thread, where they talk about long days... well... my first year I worked 15-18 hours a day all summer. Last year I swore I'd take at least Monday afternoons off. Last Monday I sat at the lake and I was too tired to fish. I'm back to 15-18 hours a day when guests are here.
And I have a LOT of support from friends and family.
But full house last week, breakfast at 7 a.m. for six days straight. Then they all left... The laundry yesterday took me ALL day (and yes, I have a high efficiency dryer that dries loads as fast as the washer washes them.) Time wise, so what, it's all day? But I find laundry to be especially exhausting... something about all that ironing and standing and carrying that wipes me out.
But I love what I'm doing. I love my B&B, my house, my guests, my life. In the summer I work my buns off. In the winter I go ice skating every Thursday and work hard when the guests come (weekends!). I am frugal and don't need to earn a ton, and I only have the mortgage and line of credit, so I am able to make a decent living at this.
Was it a risk? Yes!
Worth it? Yes!
Do I have any idea what's going to happen next? Nope! (And now that dh is gone I really need to get that emergency plan in place.)
No risk. No reward. Your choice to make.
=)
Kk..

So sorry to hear! Glad you are located near family.
Can you afford a mangle? That will help with the ironing. The Miele is expensive, but you can check online for an Ironrite. They were built in the 50s I think but if you can find one, they really do help. I got mine from Muiford! (sp???)
RIki

 

[YellowSocks]

Actually, I'm doing well, except for being very, very tired. It was way more stressful before he left, the last six months particularly. I made a vow and I kept it, but once he walked out I was free of that commitment and I had no idea how liberating that would be or how relieved I'd feel.
Thank you so much, everyone, for the prayers and support and psychic energy. I've really felt loved and supported and blessed this past month. I'm going to land on my feet, raise my kids, run my biz, and get on with my life.
Thanks again!

=)
Kk.