Question: When is Enough

[Morticia]

Now that we have more information, I agree that you should GET OUT. Don't beat yourselves up over making the wrong decision initially. Just be thankful that you are employees and you didn't spend your life's savings on buying a B&B. You've learned a valuable lesson about yourselves. Frankly, I wouldn't have been happy being an innkeeper in my early 20s either. We all change and the most important thing is that you really dig down deep and figure out what is right for you. Do not stay 7 months if your contract allows you to leave earlier.
I hope aspiring innkeepers really take to heart what has happened to this couple. The reality of being an innkeeper is much different than the idealized view.
Best of of luck with whatever you decide. Let us know what happens next. We're still here for you..

I hope aspiring innkeepers really take to heart what has happened to this couple. The reality of being an innkeeper is much different than the idealized view.
Best of of luck with whatever you decide. Let us know what happens next. We're still here for you.

Total sidetrack here, but these folks don't own the business as the rest of us do. If they did, they could close when they wanted to, take a break from biz when they wanted to and have the guests they want. So, their experience is a bit different from what the rest of us have experienced, even tho we have all been thru what they are going thru. For us, as owners, we can see something coming from our hard work and investment.
Yes, the reality can be different if the person has glamorized what needs to be done behind the scenes. But, with the right employees and the right business, the glamorous life can be had.
.

Yes, the reality can be different if the person has glamorized what needs to be done behind the scenes. But, with the right employees and the right business, the glamorous life can be had.
Hmmm....who here is living the "glamorous life"?
.

Yes, the reality can be different if the person has glamorized what needs to be done behind the scenes. But, with the right employees and the right business, the glamorous life can be had.
Hmmm....who here is living the "glamorous life"?

Believe me when I say that I know B&B owners who do not clean a toilet, cook a meal, serve a meal, do a dish, mow a lawn, etc. They are there for the lifestyle. Meeting and greeting that's what they do, the grunt work is hired out. It's a lifestyle B&B. If they do a turn in the kitchen, it's a lark, not a requirement. (All of those B&B's are in big cities, BTW, not in some of the out of the way places a lot of us find ourselves.)

 

[EmptyNest]

Now that we have more information, I agree that you should GET OUT. Don't beat yourselves up over making the wrong decision initially. Just be thankful that you are employees and you didn't spend your life's savings on buying a B&B. You've learned a valuable lesson about yourselves. Frankly, I wouldn't have been happy being an innkeeper in my early 20s either. We all change and the most important thing is that you really dig down deep and figure out what is right for you. Do not stay 7 months if your contract allows you to leave earlier.
I hope aspiring innkeepers really take to heart what has happened to this couple. The reality of being an innkeeper is much different than the idealized view.
Best of of luck with whatever you decide. Let us know what happens next. We're still here for you..

I hope aspiring innkeepers really take to heart what has happened to this couple. The reality of being an innkeeper is much different than the idealized view.
Best of of luck with whatever you decide. Let us know what happens next. We're still here for you.

Total sidetrack here, but these folks don't own the business as the rest of us do. If they did, they could close when they wanted to, take a break from biz when they wanted to and have the guests they want. So, their experience is a bit different from what the rest of us have experienced, even tho we have all been thru what they are going thru. For us, as owners, we can see something coming from our hard work and investment.
Yes, the reality can be different if the person has glamorized what needs to be done behind the scenes. But, with the right employees and the right business, the glamorous life can be had.
.

Yes, the reality can be different if the person has glamorized what needs to be done behind the scenes. But, with the right employees and the right business, the glamorous life can be had.
Hmmm....who here is living the "glamorous life"?
.

Yes, the reality can be different if the person has glamorized what needs to be done behind the scenes. But, with the right employees and the right business, the glamorous life can be had.
Hmmm....who here is living the "glamorous life"?

Believe me when I say that I know B&B owners who do not clean a toilet, cook a meal, serve a meal, do a dish, mow a lawn, etc. They are there for the lifestyle. Meeting and greeting that's what they do, the grunt work is hired out. It's a lifestyle B&B. If they do a turn in the kitchen, it's a lark, not a requirement. (All of those B&B's are in big cities, BTW, not in some of the out of the way places a lot of us find ourselves.)
.

Well I considered my B & B a LIFESTYLE B & B, but we cleaned the toilets, make the meals, did the laundry etc etc etc...We paid no one. But, we took guests when and if we wanted them...that was the difference here. We did not depend on our place to make us a living. We knew that going into it and that is what we wanted.

 

[happykeeper]

Now that we have more information, I agree that you should GET OUT. Don't beat yourselves up over making the wrong decision initially. Just be thankful that you are employees and you didn't spend your life's savings on buying a B&B. You've learned a valuable lesson about yourselves. Frankly, I wouldn't have been happy being an innkeeper in my early 20s either. We all change and the most important thing is that you really dig down deep and figure out what is right for you. Do not stay 7 months if your contract allows you to leave earlier.
I hope aspiring innkeepers really take to heart what has happened to this couple. The reality of being an innkeeper is much different than the idealized view.
Best of of luck with whatever you decide. Let us know what happens next. We're still here for you..

I hope aspiring innkeepers really take to heart what has happened to this couple. The reality of being an innkeeper is much different than the idealized view.
Best of of luck with whatever you decide. Let us know what happens next. We're still here for you.

Total sidetrack here, but these folks don't own the business as the rest of us do. If they did, they could close when they wanted to, take a break from biz when they wanted to and have the guests they want. So, their experience is a bit different from what the rest of us have experienced, even tho we have all been thru what they are going thru. For us, as owners, we can see something coming from our hard work and investment.
Yes, the reality can be different if the person has glamorized what needs to be done behind the scenes. But, with the right employees and the right business, the glamorous life can be had.
.

Total sidetrack here, but these folks don't own the business as the rest of us do. If they did, they could close when they wanted to, take a break from biz when they wanted to and have the guests they want. So, their experience is a bit different from what the rest of us have experienced, even tho we have all been thru what they are going thru. For us, as owners, we can see something coming from our hard work and investment.
Yes, the reality can be different if the person has glamorized what needs to be done behind the scenes. But, with the right employees and the right business, the glamorous life can be had.

sidetrack to your sidetrck Bree: I agree and also disagree. We cannot close when we want to, God forbid, we have bills to pay. In fact we do not even collect a paycheck. (Well I don't, not sure about the rest of the owner/innkeepers on this forum). I don't hand select my guests - I take the good with the bad and even the ugly for that matter. Obv location and amenities and price range have much to do with clientele whims. If I were hired for any job, there would need to be set hours, boundaries and limitations to what is required of me and my position. Being in a job for 7 months does not even earn any vacation pay typically til after the first year has passed. Paid 3 weeks off in the off-season sounds reasonable to me. If this couple are not getting days off, which I never really read other than not being able to be comfy on the days off, are they there 24/7 with no days off? Are they unable to leave the property or do what they want?Then shame on the owners of that business, they DO need to step up and tell him/her/them what they require. Turn them in to L&I, you are required to have time off, breaks and the rest.
.

Total sidetrack here, but these folks don't own the business as the rest of us do. If they did, they could close when they wanted to, take a break from biz when they wanted to and have the guests they want. So, their experience is a bit different from what the rest of us have experienced, even tho we have all been thru what they are going thru. For us, as owners, we can see something coming from our hard work and investment.
Yes, the reality can be different if the person has glamorized what needs to be done behind the scenes. But, with the right employees and the right business, the glamorous life can be had.

sidetrack to your sidetrck Bree: I agree and also disagree. We cannot close when we want to, God forbid, we have bills to pay. In fact we do not even collect a paycheck. (Well I don't, not sure about the rest of the owner/innkeepers on this forum). I don't hand select my guests - I take the good with the bad and even the ugly for that matter. Obv location and amenities and price range have much to do with clientele whims. If I were hired for any job, there would need to be set hours, boundaries and limitations to what is required of me and my position. Being in a job for 7 months does not even earn any vacation pay typically til after the first year has passed. Paid 3 weeks off in the off-season sounds reasonable to me. If this couple are not getting days off, which I never really read other than not being able to be comfy on the days off, are they there 24/7 with no days off? Are they unable to leave the property or do what they want?Then shame on the owners of that business, they DO need to step up and tell him/her/them what they require. Turn them in to L&I, you are required to have time off, breaks and the rest.

sidetrack or spur even- I agree with Bree. If you HAVE to stay open everyday to pay the bills- your business may have been derailed on the track to financial success. ( Geez! How many railroad terms do I need) The glamor life can be had.

 

[Morticia]

Now that we have more information, I agree that you should GET OUT. Don't beat yourselves up over making the wrong decision initially. Just be thankful that you are employees and you didn't spend your life's savings on buying a B&B. You've learned a valuable lesson about yourselves. Frankly, I wouldn't have been happy being an innkeeper in my early 20s either. We all change and the most important thing is that you really dig down deep and figure out what is right for you. Do not stay 7 months if your contract allows you to leave earlier.
I hope aspiring innkeepers really take to heart what has happened to this couple. The reality of being an innkeeper is much different than the idealized view.
Best of of luck with whatever you decide. Let us know what happens next. We're still here for you..

I hope aspiring innkeepers really take to heart what has happened to this couple. The reality of being an innkeeper is much different than the idealized view.
Best of of luck with whatever you decide. Let us know what happens next. We're still here for you.

Total sidetrack here, but these folks don't own the business as the rest of us do. If they did, they could close when they wanted to, take a break from biz when they wanted to and have the guests they want. So, their experience is a bit different from what the rest of us have experienced, even tho we have all been thru what they are going thru. For us, as owners, we can see something coming from our hard work and investment.
Yes, the reality can be different if the person has glamorized what needs to be done behind the scenes. But, with the right employees and the right business, the glamorous life can be had.
.

Yes, the reality can be different if the person has glamorized what needs to be done behind the scenes. But, with the right employees and the right business, the glamorous life can be had.
Hmmm....who here is living the "glamorous life"?
.

Yes, the reality can be different if the person has glamorized what needs to be done behind the scenes. But, with the right employees and the right business, the glamorous life can be had.
Hmmm....who here is living the "glamorous life"?

Believe me when I say that I know B&B owners who do not clean a toilet, cook a meal, serve a meal, do a dish, mow a lawn, etc. They are there for the lifestyle. Meeting and greeting that's what they do, the grunt work is hired out. It's a lifestyle B&B. If they do a turn in the kitchen, it's a lark, not a requirement. (All of those B&B's are in big cities, BTW, not in some of the out of the way places a lot of us find ourselves.)
.

Well I considered my B & B a LIFESTYLE B & B, but we cleaned the toilets, make the meals, did the laundry etc etc etc...We paid no one. But, we took guests when and if we wanted them...that was the difference here. We did not depend on our place to make us a living. We knew that going into it and that is what we wanted.
.

Well I considered my B & B a LIFESTYLE B & B, but we cleaned the toilets, make the meals, did the laundry etc etc etc...We paid no one. But, we took guests when and if we wanted them...that was the difference here. We did not depend on our place to make us a living. We knew that going into it and that is what we wanted.

Bingo. It is a lifestyle B&B when you run it how you want and not when it runs you. Right now we're in the latter category!

 

[Copperhead]

I believe that many of us at the begining stages of this thread were trying to help the 2 of you to give innkeeping a little longer. Now after knowing more, I am saying it is time to move on. It may not be that innkeeping is not a good fit for you, it is that THIS place is not a good fit for you.
I am sure you have looked at all the clauses in your contract and know what the consequences of departing before the end of your contract are, but did the owner stay within the confines of the contract with his 'demands'? Maybe that is worth persuing with him. Was it within your contract that for your salary you were to be available 24/7? I am sure it was not, as I do not know anyone that would take this type of job with that demanded of them.
I would send him a letter (registered) of resignation stating the reason for your departure (tactfully please) and state that it will be mutually beneficial for your last day to be X day. If he confronts you as to the reason it is to his benefit that you leave, tell him that your staying may have a negative affect on his business as you are not able to obtain the 'anything you wish' attitude. If he has any business sence he will get the picture.
What keeps popping into my head is: WHY would this boss hire such a young couple without prior experience to manage a 17 room 'luxury' B&B???

 

[SummerSeed87]

Hello all,
Let me start by saying thanks to all who have responded. Your advice has been great, although some a little harsh. But many of you are right, we are young, and have not experienced near as much as older innkeepers. I do think we were hired because of our customer service backgrounds, desire to learn, and the extra skills we have that pertained to this inn. Let me give some details on my responsibilities. First off, we take care of everything that happens in this inn, basically the first line of defense. Then problems are out-sourced to electricians, plumbers, etc. So if anything breaks, I attempt to fix it first, then go from there. We have experienced a wide variety of issues, including the boiler breaking(which involved me getting up several times in the dead of the night to dump a bucket of water), water leaks, numerous visits from the fire department for alarms going off, pipes bursting-the list goes on. And I do realize these are very common and that is fine. It does seem to me that my workload does get significantly bigger as each week goes by. I am required to do things that i am not qualified for, despite my protest. Every other day new things come up that should have been done weeks before, which were definitely our owners responsibility. Maybe we would not have had to work half of our day off, that we confirmed 3 days in advance, if things had gotten done. Some resentment has definitely built up as of late. I honestly don't know where to start with listing what i do everyday.. I get up, drive to get newspapers, do a full breakfast as chef, do all the dishes, clean the kitchen, jump into room inspections, garden watering/sprinkler setup, prepping food, grocery errands, guest checkins, it goes on.. I think i am miserable because i do not feel fulfilled from doing any of this. As far as delegating to staff, I wish! We only have one housekeeper, who is more than busy, and one waitress who is only allowed to be put on schedule for a certain high number of rooms. Nope, can't hire anymore people because it costs money. We are trying to get staff in here for the summer, but I am beginning to feel we waited too long (at my owners advice) and am having a hard time finding people. One comment was very correct when they said, " i can't imagine working that hard for anyone other than myself." I do think inn-keeping is a talent we have, but being led this way has soured us at this location. We actually do have great plans for our own bnb someday. I have discovered things I did not realize i could do, like making breakfast for 40 people, not something i thought i would ever be doing. I think the reality here is I am doing 2 or 3 peoples jobs and can't hold up under this stress any longer. I did not have anxiety, panic attacks, or depression anywhere close to how bad it is now. And at this point, I feel it my responsibility to pull us from this place because it is too painful to watch my charming, bubbly wife depressed and upset all day. Once again, I do really appreciate all of your comments. It was a great comfort to hear from others who are in this business. Hopefully 6 weeks is fair, I am actually treating the these past 2 weeks(which ends on Monday) as a test, If things aren't improving, or I/we are not feeling any better, It's time to put our notice in. I did not jump directly into this job, the description was somewhat misleading. The interview was as well, not showing everything that this job entails. If someone told me that I would be chained to a phone and never get a day off without being subjected to circumstance, no, i would not have taken this job. Sure, more research could have been done, but when it seems like someone is offering you gold, your young mind takes over.

 

[bobwhitesong]

WOW! You've all been unbelievably helpful, THANK YOU. Now That I've gotten that first big rant off my chest I feel like I can breath and answer a few questions, so here goes:
-We do not have any sort of an employment contract. Nothing. Nada. Zilch.
-We only get days off when there is no one at the Inn. On those days we're free to go away from the Inn, but only under the circumstances that: There are no workers/maintenance people here that need to be watched or tended to, there are no conference calls or business meetings going on, there are no chores to be done (often seasonal, like "raking the stones that were thrown by the snowblower back into the path" or "picking the sticks off the [5 acres of] property that were knocked down by the wind"), and nothing goes wrong before we can get the EFF out of the door. It's not uncommon for us to get a phone call at 8 or 9 in the morning, at which point the owner gives us an entire list of chores to do. So much for sleeping in! Best of all, we'll do ALL the chores, get out hours later than we wanted, and then when asked about the chores he'll say, "oh! you didn't have to do all those today!". Couldn't he have told us when they were to be done when he called??? Now that "the season" is starting to pick up, I can unexaggeratingly, literally say that we have a maximum of three days off before July (at which point it is expected that you work for 4 months with NO days off). Three days. Kill me please.
-Please don't think that we don't appreciate the vacation we got. We do. It's just frustrating to have great memories tainted by what I can't seem to find the words to describe as anything less than poor management. I mean, making us do a check-in while our bags are still in the car?? Come on!!
-Why did he hire us, you ask? I'm not entirely certain. The ad even said don't bother applying if you don't have 5 years inn management experience. But we went out on a limb and went for it. Two reasons we know of are that he thought young=moldable, and that we had a stong interest in environmental conservation. He didn't realize that we are abnormally mature for our age and therefore not as maleable as he had hoped. For example, we're not into being "green" because it's trendy or profitable. We're green because it's RIGHT and we're downright passionate about it. Almost religiously passionate. I can't say that about our owner. and sometimes he says things that are downright ignorant. Not "i don't know" but "I don't care to know. in fact, I care so little that I'm going to mock you for caring so much", THAT kind of ignorant. I don't tolerate condescention. And I have little patience for blind or stingy apathy. So while he thinks he can "mold" us into compromising on our beliefs, we won't bend. (Example: I will not let our housekeeper use a cleaner that I know is hazardous and makes her loopy, when I know that for a fraction more she can use something that has ZERO toxicity and cleans just as well.)
-Regarding the expectation of the job: I don't think that we were properly informed of what was needed or expected of us when we were hired. Much less when we interviewed. We were trained (by an interim who also had no experience) in about 6 days. Then we were left to fend for ourselves, learn by trial and error, and clean up the interim's messes as we went. The list of responsibilities just keeps growing. To say that we get a new daily task every day isn't an exaggeration. We get up at 7, answer phones until 9:30, and are in bed aound 11. We have no personal lives. There just isn't any time leftover for us after everything else gets done!
The comment that got me was, "No one should have to live in a situation where they are acting against their own belief system!"
This job does that in SO many ways.
I'm ranting again, Ahh!

 

[gillumhouse]

Hello all,
Let me start by saying thanks to all who have responded. Your advice has been great, although some a little harsh. But many of you are right, we are young, and have not experienced near as much as older innkeepers. I do think we were hired because of our customer service backgrounds, desire to learn, and the extra skills we have that pertained to this inn. Let me give some details on my responsibilities. First off, we take care of everything that happens in this inn, basically the first line of defense. Then problems are out-sourced to electricians, plumbers, etc. So if anything breaks, I attempt to fix it first, then go from there. We have experienced a wide variety of issues, including the boiler breaking(which involved me getting up several times in the dead of the night to dump a bucket of water), water leaks, numerous visits from the fire department for alarms going off, pipes bursting-the list goes on. And I do realize these are very common and that is fine. It does seem to me that my workload does get significantly bigger as each week goes by. I am required to do things that i am not qualified for, despite my protest. Every other day new things come up that should have been done weeks before, which were definitely our owners responsibility. Maybe we would not have had to work half of our day off, that we confirmed 3 days in advance, if things had gotten done. Some resentment has definitely built up as of late. I honestly don't know where to start with listing what i do everyday.. I get up, drive to get newspapers, do a full breakfast as chef, do all the dishes, clean the kitchen, jump into room inspections, garden watering/sprinkler setup, prepping food, grocery errands, guest checkins, it goes on.. I think i am miserable because i do not feel fulfilled from doing any of this. As far as delegating to staff, I wish! We only have one housekeeper, who is more than busy, and one waitress who is only allowed to be put on schedule for a certain high number of rooms. Nope, can't hire anymore people because it costs money. We are trying to get staff in here for the summer, but I am beginning to feel we waited too long (at my owners advice) and am having a hard time finding people. One comment was very correct when they said, " i can't imagine working that hard for anyone other than myself." I do think inn-keeping is a talent we have, but being led this way has soured us at this location. We actually do have great plans for our own bnb someday. I have discovered things I did not realize i could do, like making breakfast for 40 people, not something i thought i would ever be doing. I think the reality here is I am doing 2 or 3 peoples jobs and can't hold up under this stress any longer. I did not have anxiety, panic attacks, or depression anywhere close to how bad it is now. And at this point, I feel it my responsibility to pull us from this place because it is too painful to watch my charming, bubbly wife depressed and upset all day. Once again, I do really appreciate all of your comments. It was a great comfort to hear from others who are in this business. Hopefully 6 weeks is fair, I am actually treating the these past 2 weeks(which ends on Monday) as a test, If things aren't improving, or I/we are not feeling any better, It's time to put our notice in. I did not jump directly into this job, the description was somewhat misleading. The interview was as well, not showing everything that this job entails. If someone told me that I would be chained to a phone and never get a day off without being subjected to circumstance, no, i would not have taken this job. Sure, more research could have been done, but when it seems like someone is offering you gold, your young mind takes over..

Yes, there are owners like that and not just in the B & B business. It is definitely time to relocate. I did not mean to be harsh with any of my posts but I will stand by my statement that life is a learning process and it sounds as if you both got a very harsh lesson.
Check it out, establish the guidelines, and get it in writing. Most of us are business owners because we got tired of working "for the man". In my past life I made a very decent living with bennies. I chucked it all and did not look back. But by that time I was in my late 40s, kids grown, and a cushion to live on (turned out it was nowhere near enough!!
Enjoy being young. This is your time to plot and plan your future. If you go into innkeeping again - and you may well do that - you will know what you are getting into. Now is the time to do your testing - before you have a fmaily to support - it has a way of changing the rules.
Best to you in your future endeavors. Let us know where you land and doing what.

 

[user 26]

well ... i did work as employee for an owner who was supposed to be my partner.
the compensation was tiny, i had days/nights mirroring yours.
i won't bore you with the details. but it was a usurious situation.
i just have one question (in many parts) ... are you resigning with no job to go to? what is your plan? where will you go? where will you live? how will you live? please get all this set up before you walk.

 

[happykeeper]

Hello all,
Let me start by saying thanks to all who have responded. Your advice has been great, although some a little harsh. But many of you are right, we are young, and have not experienced near as much as older innkeepers. I do think we were hired because of our customer service backgrounds, desire to learn, and the extra skills we have that pertained to this inn. Let me give some details on my responsibilities. First off, we take care of everything that happens in this inn, basically the first line of defense. Then problems are out-sourced to electricians, plumbers, etc. So if anything breaks, I attempt to fix it first, then go from there. We have experienced a wide variety of issues, including the boiler breaking(which involved me getting up several times in the dead of the night to dump a bucket of water), water leaks, numerous visits from the fire department for alarms going off, pipes bursting-the list goes on. And I do realize these are very common and that is fine. It does seem to me that my workload does get significantly bigger as each week goes by. I am required to do things that i am not qualified for, despite my protest. Every other day new things come up that should have been done weeks before, which were definitely our owners responsibility. Maybe we would not have had to work half of our day off, that we confirmed 3 days in advance, if things had gotten done. Some resentment has definitely built up as of late. I honestly don't know where to start with listing what i do everyday.. I get up, drive to get newspapers, do a full breakfast as chef, do all the dishes, clean the kitchen, jump into room inspections, garden watering/sprinkler setup, prepping food, grocery errands, guest checkins, it goes on.. I think i am miserable because i do not feel fulfilled from doing any of this. As far as delegating to staff, I wish! We only have one housekeeper, who is more than busy, and one waitress who is only allowed to be put on schedule for a certain high number of rooms. Nope, can't hire anymore people because it costs money. We are trying to get staff in here for the summer, but I am beginning to feel we waited too long (at my owners advice) and am having a hard time finding people. One comment was very correct when they said, " i can't imagine working that hard for anyone other than myself." I do think inn-keeping is a talent we have, but being led this way has soured us at this location. We actually do have great plans for our own bnb someday. I have discovered things I did not realize i could do, like making breakfast for 40 people, not something i thought i would ever be doing. I think the reality here is I am doing 2 or 3 peoples jobs and can't hold up under this stress any longer. I did not have anxiety, panic attacks, or depression anywhere close to how bad it is now. And at this point, I feel it my responsibility to pull us from this place because it is too painful to watch my charming, bubbly wife depressed and upset all day. Once again, I do really appreciate all of your comments. It was a great comfort to hear from others who are in this business. Hopefully 6 weeks is fair, I am actually treating the these past 2 weeks(which ends on Monday) as a test, If things aren't improving, or I/we are not feeling any better, It's time to put our notice in. I did not jump directly into this job, the description was somewhat misleading. The interview was as well, not showing everything that this job entails. If someone told me that I would be chained to a phone and never get a day off without being subjected to circumstance, no, i would not have taken this job. Sure, more research could have been done, but when it seems like someone is offering you gold, your young mind takes over..

Yes, there are owners like that and not just in the B & B business. It is definitely time to relocate. I did not mean to be harsh with any of my posts but I will stand by my statement that life is a learning process and it sounds as if you both got a very harsh lesson.
Check it out, establish the guidelines, and get it in writing. Most of us are business owners because we got tired of working "for the man". In my past life I made a very decent living with bennies. I chucked it all and did not look back. But by that time I was in my late 40s, kids grown, and a cushion to live on (turned out it was nowhere near enough!!
Enjoy being young. This is your time to plot and plan your future. If you go into innkeeping again - and you may well do that - you will know what you are getting into. Now is the time to do your testing - before you have a fmaily to support - it has a way of changing the rules.
Best to you in your future endeavors. Let us know where you land and doing what.
.

I second that- if you want to make a success out something - you have to embrace your failures- and there is an old saying about bending that pointed finger at both joints.
You sound like a great couple- and innkeepers may very well be your calling- so look for every morsel of education you can in this experience and make a list for future reference.
I knew I was going to sound harsh, and that's why I threw in the ever popular "don't take it as harsh" statement. You were very kind not to fly off the handle, and a few folks came to your defense, so hopefully you'll get at the meat of what was said and make a checklist of things to get you ready to be innkeepers and owners.
Best wishes

 

[EmptyNest]

Hello all,
Let me start by saying thanks to all who have responded. Your advice has been great, although some a little harsh. But many of you are right, we are young, and have not experienced near as much as older innkeepers. I do think we were hired because of our customer service backgrounds, desire to learn, and the extra skills we have that pertained to this inn. Let me give some details on my responsibilities. First off, we take care of everything that happens in this inn, basically the first line of defense. Then problems are out-sourced to electricians, plumbers, etc. So if anything breaks, I attempt to fix it first, then go from there. We have experienced a wide variety of issues, including the boiler breaking(which involved me getting up several times in the dead of the night to dump a bucket of water), water leaks, numerous visits from the fire department for alarms going off, pipes bursting-the list goes on. And I do realize these are very common and that is fine. It does seem to me that my workload does get significantly bigger as each week goes by. I am required to do things that i am not qualified for, despite my protest. Every other day new things come up that should have been done weeks before, which were definitely our owners responsibility. Maybe we would not have had to work half of our day off, that we confirmed 3 days in advance, if things had gotten done. Some resentment has definitely built up as of late. I honestly don't know where to start with listing what i do everyday.. I get up, drive to get newspapers, do a full breakfast as chef, do all the dishes, clean the kitchen, jump into room inspections, garden watering/sprinkler setup, prepping food, grocery errands, guest checkins, it goes on.. I think i am miserable because i do not feel fulfilled from doing any of this. As far as delegating to staff, I wish! We only have one housekeeper, who is more than busy, and one waitress who is only allowed to be put on schedule for a certain high number of rooms. Nope, can't hire anymore people because it costs money. We are trying to get staff in here for the summer, but I am beginning to feel we waited too long (at my owners advice) and am having a hard time finding people. One comment was very correct when they said, " i can't imagine working that hard for anyone other than myself." I do think inn-keeping is a talent we have, but being led this way has soured us at this location. We actually do have great plans for our own bnb someday. I have discovered things I did not realize i could do, like making breakfast for 40 people, not something i thought i would ever be doing. I think the reality here is I am doing 2 or 3 peoples jobs and can't hold up under this stress any longer. I did not have anxiety, panic attacks, or depression anywhere close to how bad it is now. And at this point, I feel it my responsibility to pull us from this place because it is too painful to watch my charming, bubbly wife depressed and upset all day. Once again, I do really appreciate all of your comments. It was a great comfort to hear from others who are in this business. Hopefully 6 weeks is fair, I am actually treating the these past 2 weeks(which ends on Monday) as a test, If things aren't improving, or I/we are not feeling any better, It's time to put our notice in. I did not jump directly into this job, the description was somewhat misleading. The interview was as well, not showing everything that this job entails. If someone told me that I would be chained to a phone and never get a day off without being subjected to circumstance, no, i would not have taken this job. Sure, more research could have been done, but when it seems like someone is offering you gold, your young mind takes over..

We may sound harsh, but it is what it is and that is the way we say it After reading more from you and your wife, I would say you definitely have skills and talents but they are not being used properly in this situation. Take what you have learned here and use it to your benefit somewhere else! I don't know if you have other means or another position to go to, but I would leave this one for sure. The owner/employer obviously doesn't have a clue what it takes to run an inn and sounds like he thought he was making easy money by opening one and having someone else run it...wrong!
I think you owe it to yourselves to leave this situation ASAP!!! After you go, then let us know where this place is. I know we are all dying to check out where you are, the website etc...and that would give you a whole other set of comments I am sure.

 

[swirt]

WOW! You've all been unbelievably helpful, THANK YOU. Now That I've gotten that first big rant off my chest I feel like I can breath and answer a few questions, so here goes:
-We do not have any sort of an employment contract. Nothing. Nada. Zilch.
-We only get days off when there is no one at the Inn. On those days we're free to go away from the Inn, but only under the circumstances that: There are no workers/maintenance people here that need to be watched or tended to, there are no conference calls or business meetings going on, there are no chores to be done (often seasonal, like "raking the stones that were thrown by the snowblower back into the path" or "picking the sticks off the [5 acres of] property that were knocked down by the wind"), and nothing goes wrong before we can get the EFF out of the door. It's not uncommon for us to get a phone call at 8 or 9 in the morning, at which point the owner gives us an entire list of chores to do. So much for sleeping in! Best of all, we'll do ALL the chores, get out hours later than we wanted, and then when asked about the chores he'll say, "oh! you didn't have to do all those today!". Couldn't he have told us when they were to be done when he called??? Now that "the season" is starting to pick up, I can unexaggeratingly, literally say that we have a maximum of three days off before July (at which point it is expected that you work for 4 months with NO days off). Three days. Kill me please.
-Please don't think that we don't appreciate the vacation we got. We do. It's just frustrating to have great memories tainted by what I can't seem to find the words to describe as anything less than poor management. I mean, making us do a check-in while our bags are still in the car?? Come on!!
-Why did he hire us, you ask? I'm not entirely certain. The ad even said don't bother applying if you don't have 5 years inn management experience. But we went out on a limb and went for it. Two reasons we know of are that he thought young=moldable, and that we had a stong interest in environmental conservation. He didn't realize that we are abnormally mature for our age and therefore not as maleable as he had hoped. For example, we're not into being "green" because it's trendy or profitable. We're green because it's RIGHT and we're downright passionate about it. Almost religiously passionate. I can't say that about our owner. and sometimes he says things that are downright ignorant. Not "i don't know" but "I don't care to know. in fact, I care so little that I'm going to mock you for caring so much", THAT kind of ignorant. I don't tolerate condescention. And I have little patience for blind or stingy apathy. So while he thinks he can "mold" us into compromising on our beliefs, we won't bend. (Example: I will not let our housekeeper use a cleaner that I know is hazardous and makes her loopy, when I know that for a fraction more she can use something that has ZERO toxicity and cleans just as well.)
-Regarding the expectation of the job: I don't think that we were properly informed of what was needed or expected of us when we were hired. Much less when we interviewed. We were trained (by an interim who also had no experience) in about 6 days. Then we were left to fend for ourselves, learn by trial and error, and clean up the interim's messes as we went. The list of responsibilities just keeps growing. To say that we get a new daily task every day isn't an exaggeration. We get up at 7, answer phones until 9:30, and are in bed aound 11. We have no personal lives. There just isn't any time leftover for us after everything else gets done!
The comment that got me was, "No one should have to live in a situation where they are acting against their own belief system!"
This job does that in SO many ways.
I'm ranting again, Ahh!.

(Example: I will not let our housekeeper use a cleaner that I know is hazardous and makes her loopy, when I know that for a fraction more she can use something that has ZERO toxicity and cleans just as well.)
Oooh do please start a separate thread on this. We want to hear more.

 

[Don Draper]

My heart truly goes out to both of you as I had a similar situation in my late 20's when DH and I moved lock, stock and barrel to another state based on a job offer I received. Once I got there the job was nothing like what had been promised, the hours were much longer than I agreed to and I foolishly hadn't gotten any of the employer's "promises" in writing. He, unfortunately had gotten me to sign a 2 year contract, so I had to buy my way out of it, which I did after 6 weeks. The most miserable 6 weeks of my life so I can totally empathize with what you are feeling...let down, worried that you are letting others down, wondering what to do, scared, and just overwhelmed. My employer also did all he could to make my remaining time miserable once I let him know I would be leaving.
Be glad you don't have a written contract, it sounds like you can escape without major damages if you absolutely must. But I really think if you can step back from the immediate overwhelming feeling of "I have to get out!" you might find that there are ways to make the situation work for you. It sounds to me like you were hired because you made a great impression and likely because there were not many other takers for this immense job! Use that to your advantage and for leverage. For instance, if your owner isn't terribly hands-on and isn't on-site, can you just go ahead and implement changes that will make you happy (for instance, just buy the type of cleaner you want the housekeeper to use). If he's not there, you can work on his "to do" list as you have time, not jump to get everything done all at once. Start implementing guest policies that work for your schedule (like not answering the phone after a certain time, or stopping check-ins a a particular time)...you mentioned the check-in "spiel"...are there any parts of this that you could put in the guest rooms (attractive brochures or leaflets) that would lessen your load a little bit?
One housekeeper for 17 rooms sounds impossible...we have 9 rooms and usually have two people here to get everything turned over. Is there a way to hire more help? Is there a way for YOU to schedule the maintenance people around your schedule? Keep a contact list of who is coming in to do what, and maybe you can just start to run things by your owner "I'd like to schedule Joe to come in for the yearly furnace maintenance" as opposed to having the owner arrange it himself. It doesn't hurt to ask, again use the fact that your employer doesn't seem to have someone ready to jump in and take your spot, maybe he'd be happy to have some of the small details off of his plate and to work with you. I know it's difficult not to, but try not to demonize this guy...try to see some of the issues from his point of view and maybe you can meet in the middle.
I hear you about not particularly caring for the people you're dealing with, but the bottom line here is you will just have to deal with them. Maybe they are not being condescending, maybe you are just perceiving it that way...it really doesn't matter, I've found the most effective solution is to kill 'em with kindness...just keep smiling and nodding and letting them think you are seeing it all their way...at least you have each other to vent to once they leave! This has been my most difficult lesson since becoming an innkeeper...not letting what other people say or do effect me personally...or at least not for more than 10 minutes! Just let it roll off...I know this is easier said than done but it does happen if you practice!
Someone had mentioned earlier and I agree, I think it really does get easier once you are fully "in-season"...you just get into a good routine and you're so busy that the days just start to flow. Plus, most of this "maintenance" type stuff will be done by then, so you won't have to worry about that so much. I cannot emphasize enough how much easier our second year here was versus our first...there truly is no substitute for experience, and by this time next year you'll have all that time under your belt and so many issues will have already been dealt with, it might just get easier.
The very best part of my bad situation? DH and I went through it all together, and being away from friends, family and familiar surroundings strengthened our personal relationship in ways it never would have been had we not had to deal with it all. I'm so glad you have each other and hope that you can continue to be so supportive and kind to each other as you seem to be...

 

[Morticia]

Hello all,
Let me start by saying thanks to all who have responded. Your advice has been great, although some a little harsh. But many of you are right, we are young, and have not experienced near as much as older innkeepers. I do think we were hired because of our customer service backgrounds, desire to learn, and the extra skills we have that pertained to this inn. Let me give some details on my responsibilities. First off, we take care of everything that happens in this inn, basically the first line of defense. Then problems are out-sourced to electricians, plumbers, etc. So if anything breaks, I attempt to fix it first, then go from there. We have experienced a wide variety of issues, including the boiler breaking(which involved me getting up several times in the dead of the night to dump a bucket of water), water leaks, numerous visits from the fire department for alarms going off, pipes bursting-the list goes on. And I do realize these are very common and that is fine. It does seem to me that my workload does get significantly bigger as each week goes by. I am required to do things that i am not qualified for, despite my protest. Every other day new things come up that should have been done weeks before, which were definitely our owners responsibility. Maybe we would not have had to work half of our day off, that we confirmed 3 days in advance, if things had gotten done. Some resentment has definitely built up as of late. I honestly don't know where to start with listing what i do everyday.. I get up, drive to get newspapers, do a full breakfast as chef, do all the dishes, clean the kitchen, jump into room inspections, garden watering/sprinkler setup, prepping food, grocery errands, guest checkins, it goes on.. I think i am miserable because i do not feel fulfilled from doing any of this. As far as delegating to staff, I wish! We only have one housekeeper, who is more than busy, and one waitress who is only allowed to be put on schedule for a certain high number of rooms. Nope, can't hire anymore people because it costs money. We are trying to get staff in here for the summer, but I am beginning to feel we waited too long (at my owners advice) and am having a hard time finding people. One comment was very correct when they said, " i can't imagine working that hard for anyone other than myself." I do think inn-keeping is a talent we have, but being led this way has soured us at this location. We actually do have great plans for our own bnb someday. I have discovered things I did not realize i could do, like making breakfast for 40 people, not something i thought i would ever be doing. I think the reality here is I am doing 2 or 3 peoples jobs and can't hold up under this stress any longer. I did not have anxiety, panic attacks, or depression anywhere close to how bad it is now. And at this point, I feel it my responsibility to pull us from this place because it is too painful to watch my charming, bubbly wife depressed and upset all day. Once again, I do really appreciate all of your comments. It was a great comfort to hear from others who are in this business. Hopefully 6 weeks is fair, I am actually treating the these past 2 weeks(which ends on Monday) as a test, If things aren't improving, or I/we are not feeling any better, It's time to put our notice in. I did not jump directly into this job, the description was somewhat misleading. The interview was as well, not showing everything that this job entails. If someone told me that I would be chained to a phone and never get a day off without being subjected to circumstance, no, i would not have taken this job. Sure, more research could have been done, but when it seems like someone is offering you gold, your young mind takes over..

You have ONE housekeeper for 17 rooms? We like to have one housekeeper for 7 rooms and then we end up doing at least 3 rooms ourselves. Hate to say it but you two were suckered. I think you mention something about 'too good to be true'.
You don't do anything more than any owner/innkeeper does but you're doing it at a much larger scale. You definitely need more help if you are going to stay on. There is no way you can keep up what is expected at your place with 3 staff members (1 housekeeper and the 2 of you).

 

[YellowSocks]

I concur with InnsiderInfo... a lot of really good points there.
You are in the position of power here... you're getting ready to go, could go any time. The owner doesn't have someone ready to step in, and can't get one quickly. If you have any desire to salvage the situation at all, then use that fact to get the changes you need to maintain your sanity. Maybe you could even to make enough changes to decide to stay instead.
That power doesn't need to be wielded with brute force, unless the owner's completely dense. Just be calm and clear... you're making these changes or you're leaving.
=)
Kk.

 

[EmptyNest]

I concur with InnsiderInfo... a lot of really good points there.
You are in the position of power here... you're getting ready to go, could go any time. The owner doesn't have someone ready to step in, and can't get one quickly. If you have any desire to salvage the situation at all, then use that fact to get the changes you need to maintain your sanity. Maybe you could even to make enough changes to decide to stay instead.
That power doesn't need to be wielded with brute force, unless the owner's completely dense. Just be calm and clear... you're making these changes or you're leaving.
=)
Kk..

You make a good point KK. IF the owner has no replacment...and he knows they are going to go...they have the power...negotiate more money, more help, and a contract they can live with...otherwise...I'd be on my way as soon as I could get my bags packed. They owe him nothing as he doesn't really seem to give a hoot.

 

[Copperhead]

I had been wondering about the size of the place and the # of employees...YOU were suckered (as Bree put it). We have 5 rooms (13 max guests) and do everything ourselves but at times we need help and do so during peak times. With 17 rooms - 40 guests you are WAY under staffed with only 1 housekeeper.
It really sounds like you are not wanting to stay at all although one of you mentioned a 2 week test before truning in your notice... As KK pointed out, you are in control here. You are not under any obligation to stay with no signed contract you are a free agent. Unless you have already fond something to go to, I would sit down with the owner and have a true heart to heart. If he is wise, especially since the high season is fast approaching for him, he will hear and honor your demands for additional help. - Without knowing what you are making (and not wanting to) it appears though that you felt the salary was good, before he continually added responsiblities. So I would not ask for more $, but more help - 17 rooms serving full breakfast in a high end B&B need several on staff. Your responsiblities should be more on management, not daily tasks AND with a day off!!! If he is unwilling to do this, you have no reason to battle with that stress any longer.
One innkeeper (owner) I know in the big city near me has 17 rooms but due to a city restriction, only serves continental. They have 2 housekeepers during busy periods, and one which assists in morning and they are still overloaded. They are in a very high volume traffic area and do not answer the door to anyone other than those they expect to check in - bags in tow. They do not have a sign out front but still have 'lookers' that have found the address on line etc. The sign out front states to call for an appointment. This was after going through what you state as your experience. After staying with them once, we are so very glad for our 5 room place. They too are worn out even with the extra help and procedures made to reduce the stress.
In one of the latest posts you mentioned the daily morning calls from the owner with additional duties and zealousness in completing the tasks assigned. I had a boss that did this as well and my eagerness to fulfill the assignments only made the next days assignments more in numbers or complicated. I learned to ask what the deadline was for each rather than assuming he needed them all completed that day.
If you do choose to confront the owner and need additional advice before doing so, please post here - as you can see we do try to be helpful. If you decide to cut your losses and leave, please let us know where you go and how you are doing. We are a caring group.

 

[SummerSeed87]

Hello,
Once again, great comments. Thank you all for listening and understanding what we are going through. I will address a few things. As far as leverage goes, it doesn't really count for much. We don't really have any power to change our situation. Our owner seems to think this is the greatest job ever and is in no hurry to try to keep us. He actually became extremely syrupy fake when we mentioned we were thinking of resigning 2 weeks ago, which furthered our opinion that he was an ingenuine person. And I would love to make decisions and buy my housekeeper the cleaner that isn't toxic, but we have no authority to do so. I was very excited when hired because at my last job i ordered all the products for my grocery store and loved it. Here everything must be cleared and msds sheets must be found, which makes it difficult. Literally every single purchase other than weekly inn groceries must be ran by the owner, this is one reason why i have lost all my steam with our green initiatives. We constantly battle costco and other cheap stores that natural products will never outsell. As for hiring more help, we are trying, but those positions are more than overwhelmed already and not much can be delegated. As for rules to make things easier, once again we do not make the rules, we can only make suggestions that are usually no received well.
This is why we made the decision today, rather than monday, to talk with our owner about leaving. Things went ok, i have a feeling that it will get worse before the end. But at least now there is some light at the end of the tunnel, rather than nothing. I feel this is the right decision, to take a break, think about our futures and then research the next step. We do not have jobs lined up as of right now, but I have made a lot of connections in my hometown and know there are jobs waiting for us. I do know that we are past the point of this being able to get better, I can't tell you how good we feel knowing that it will end. My wife skipped up the sidewalk today! Not something she's done in a very, very, very long time. I am excited for our future, I want to have fun with days off and if its loading a truck with boxes of oranges or bagging groceries, i know we'll be happy.

 

[bobwhitesong]

You guys are the best. Even those with "harsh" words have been so helpful to us. I can't even tell you how good it feels to have a light at the end of the tunnel!
There is one quick thing I'd like to mention for the benefit of other aspiring/potential inn managers. Make sure you know your allowances and powers before you take the job. We were under the impression that, since we were hired to make the Inn "green", we'd have the authority to make the necessary decisions to do so. When it comes to ordering, we certainly know what we're doing, SummerSeed was a grocery buyer at his last job, for pete's sake! Had we known it was going to be such a battle to make even the slightest change, and that every last thing would be questioned and criticized ad nauseum, we would have been much mroe hesitant to start.
And when it comes to things like phones and walk-ins and days off, we really have no power at all. There was one time when we let the owner know 3 days in advance that we were going to be taking wednesday off. Wednesday morning arrives and we get a call, first thing, with a whole list of things to do. We didn't get out of the house until almost 1. The owner definitely sees in dollar signs too. Every phone call, email, and walk-in is a walking, talking, readable wad of money that can and should be made. While I can understand that desire from a business perspective, I don't feel that he understsnds it from a personal perspective.
When we were interviewing he warned us about "living at work". SummerSeed and I are both hard working, loyal, and dedicated, so that wasn't a problem to us. But IMO, innkeeping isn't "living at work" it's "working as a lifestyle". Here at least, there is no separation between work and play.
Anyway, we're free in six weeks, yay!

 

[EmptyNest]

You guys are the best. Even those with "harsh" words have been so helpful to us. I can't even tell you how good it feels to have a light at the end of the tunnel!
There is one quick thing I'd like to mention for the benefit of other aspiring/potential inn managers. Make sure you know your allowances and powers before you take the job. We were under the impression that, since we were hired to make the Inn "green", we'd have the authority to make the necessary decisions to do so. When it comes to ordering, we certainly know what we're doing, SummerSeed was a grocery buyer at his last job, for pete's sake! Had we known it was going to be such a battle to make even the slightest change, and that every last thing would be questioned and criticized ad nauseum, we would have been much mroe hesitant to start.
And when it comes to things like phones and walk-ins and days off, we really have no power at all. There was one time when we let the owner know 3 days in advance that we were going to be taking wednesday off. Wednesday morning arrives and we get a call, first thing, with a whole list of things to do. We didn't get out of the house until almost 1. The owner definitely sees in dollar signs too. Every phone call, email, and walk-in is a walking, talking, readable wad of money that can and should be made. While I can understand that desire from a business perspective, I don't feel that he understsnds it from a personal perspective.
When we were interviewing he warned us about "living at work". SummerSeed and I are both hard working, loyal, and dedicated, so that wasn't a problem to us. But IMO, innkeeping isn't "living at work" it's "working as a lifestyle". Here at least, there is no separation between work and play.
Anyway, we're free in six weeks, yay!.

GOOD FOR BOTH OF YOU

Get out of there as quickly as you can and remember the experience you have gained.