Question about opening a B&B while having children at home

[OnTheShore]

Jeff, I will agree with the others that the arrangement sounds far from ideal, and that you should really consider some creative ways of re-designing the house so that you can have a private family section isolated from the guest areas.
But I will disagree with the others that this is complete no-go -- rather, it's all about the market: the types of guests you are trying to attract, and the expectations you set for your guests, but also what you can expect from your family, and what you expect out of the business.
Consider that sites like Air B B and Couch Surfer have revealed that there is a clientele out there for all kinds of crazy lodging arrangements....

Jeff, I will agree with the others that the arrangement sounds far from ideal, and that you should really consider some creative ways of re-designing the house so that you can have a private family section isolated from the guest areas.
But I will disagree with the others that this is complete no-go -- rather, it's all about the market: the types of guests you are trying to attract, and the expectations you set for your guests, but also what you can expect from your family, and what you expect out of the business.
Consider that sites like Air B B and Couch Surfer have revealed that there is a clientele out there for all kinds of crazy lodging arrangements...

You are correct! There is away to make it work. But my point is for their kids. It's not a good life for their kids. They will regret it later if they live among the guests their whole lives. If they plan on passing it down to their kids their kids will be so far from wanting anything to do with it. It can work, but their kids will hate them for it! That's why we had to buy the house across the street. Best thing we ever did for our family. Now the kids are starting to think it might not be so bad. But living in the business was horrible for them.
.

Jeff, I will agree with the others that the arrangement sounds far from ideal, and that you should really consider some creative ways of re-designing the house so that you can have a private family section isolated from the guest areas.
But I will disagree with the others that this is complete no-go -- rather, it's all about the market: the types of guests you are trying to attract, and the expectations you set for your guests, but also what you can expect from your family, and what you expect out of the business.
Consider that sites like Air B B and Couch Surfer have revealed that there is a clientele out there for all kinds of crazy lodging arrangements...

You are correct! There is away to make it work. But my point is for their kids. It's not a good life for their kids. They will regret it later if they live among the guests their whole lives. If they plan on passing it down to their kids their kids will be so far from wanting anything to do with it. It can work, but their kids will hate them for it! That's why we had to buy the house across the street. Best thing we ever did for our family. Now the kids are starting to think it might not be so bad. But living in the business was horrible for them.

Everyone has to choose what is best for their family, and many times there is no choice. Kids getting up at the crack of dawn before school in all weather to bring in the cows to milk and other farm chores every day of the year may sound harsh as well. But at least they can hoot n holler if they want to, kick a can, rev the john deere, toss a cow patty at each other.
You have to weight the pros and cons. If you don't have a separate living space for your kids to be kids, for them to projectile vomit and cry in a high fever, for them to fight amongst themselves (kids fight? really? yeah all the time) and you are not there to go and referee and tell them to pipe down when you are handling guests, cooking breakfast, out of sight... it is a recipe for disaster.
Anything you have to do you have to do and you get by. Starting out putting kids among guests is a huge mistake, for EVERYONE. If anyone tells you it is a great life, they are lying to you. Space is paramount, their own space, separate space.
Yes, I am speaking from experience.
.

I defer to Hillbilly and JBloggs, as my only personal experience is with separated quarters for the family vs. the guest's space. With the previous managers at our place, the separation was not as strong as it could have been, and that was a problem for them (and for the business). When we took over, one of the first things we did was to make structural changes to the house in order to better separate the private spaces from the public space, both enhancing the business while also facilitating a better experience for our family.
So my first recommendation remains to look really hard at your house and try to envision some creative solution to accomplish that goal of separating your family's quarters from the guest's spaces.

 

[Samster]

Jeff, I will agree with the others that the arrangement sounds far from ideal, and that you should really consider some creative ways of re-designing the house so that you can have a private family section isolated from the guest areas.
But I will disagree with the others that this is complete no-go -- rather, it's all about the market: the types of guests you are trying to attract, and the expectations you set for your guests, but also what you can expect from your family, and what you expect out of the business.
Consider that sites like Air B B and Couch Surfer have revealed that there is a clientele out there for all kinds of crazy lodging arrangements....

Jeff, I will agree with the others that the arrangement sounds far from ideal, and that you should really consider some creative ways of re-designing the house so that you can have a private family section isolated from the guest areas.
But I will disagree with the others that this is complete no-go -- rather, it's all about the market: the types of guests you are trying to attract, and the expectations you set for your guests, but also what you can expect from your family, and what you expect out of the business.
Consider that sites like Air B B and Couch Surfer have revealed that there is a clientele out there for all kinds of crazy lodging arrangements...

You are correct! There is away to make it work. But my point is for their kids. It's not a good life for their kids. They will regret it later if they live among the guests their whole lives. If they plan on passing it down to their kids their kids will be so far from wanting anything to do with it. It can work, but their kids will hate them for it! That's why we had to buy the house across the street. Best thing we ever did for our family. Now the kids are starting to think it might not be so bad. But living in the business was horrible for them.
.

Jeff, I will agree with the others that the arrangement sounds far from ideal, and that you should really consider some creative ways of re-designing the house so that you can have a private family section isolated from the guest areas.
But I will disagree with the others that this is complete no-go -- rather, it's all about the market: the types of guests you are trying to attract, and the expectations you set for your guests, but also what you can expect from your family, and what you expect out of the business.
Consider that sites like Air B B and Couch Surfer have revealed that there is a clientele out there for all kinds of crazy lodging arrangements...

You are correct! There is away to make it work. But my point is for their kids. It's not a good life for their kids. They will regret it later if they live among the guests their whole lives. If they plan on passing it down to their kids their kids will be so far from wanting anything to do with it. It can work, but their kids will hate them for it! That's why we had to buy the house across the street. Best thing we ever did for our family. Now the kids are starting to think it might not be so bad. But living in the business was horrible for them.

Everyone has to choose what is best for their family, and many times there is no choice. Kids getting up at the crack of dawn before school in all weather to bring in the cows to milk and other farm chores every day of the year may sound harsh as well. But at least they can hoot n holler if they want to, kick a can, rev the john deere, toss a cow patty at each other.
You have to weight the pros and cons. If you don't have a separate living space for your kids to be kids, for them to projectile vomit and cry in a high fever, for them to fight amongst themselves (kids fight? really? yeah all the time) and you are not there to go and referee and tell them to pipe down when you are handling guests, cooking breakfast, out of sight... it is a recipe for disaster.
Anything you have to do you have to do and you get by. Starting out putting kids among guests is a huge mistake, for EVERYONE. If anyone tells you it is a great life, they are lying to you. Space is paramount, their own space, separate space.
Yes, I am speaking from experience.
.

I defer to Hillbilly and JBloggs, as my only personal experience is with separated quarters for the family vs. the guest's space. With the previous managers at our place, the separation was not as strong as it could have been, and that was a problem for them (and for the business). When we took over, one of the first things we did was to make structural changes to the house in order to better separate the private spaces from the public space, both enhancing the business while also facilitating a better experience for our family.
So my first recommendation remains to look really hard at your house and try to envision some creative solution to accomplish that goal of separating your family's quarters from the guest's spaces.
.

Not to mention that there are many B&B/inn guests who do not want to share common areas, or even run into the innkeepers (much less share any spaces with them or their family members).
I know that there are folks that this probably doesn't create any issue, but you have to be mindful of your market. (Of course the whole air thing might be swinging this back around to shared spaces being okay.)
We used to stay at a place in our son's college town and the innkeepers were always in the common area when we came back to the B&B. While I absolutely loved our hosts and the property, we felt like we had to retreat to our room to discuss the day, etc. And their rooms, while lovely, didn't really have sitting areas. We returned there simply because it was the only B&B option in that city.
I think you have to look at the whole situation - what is good for your family (which is so hugely important), your business, and your guests.

 

[MtnKeeper]

We have a large B&B with a full apartment for us and our kids over the garage - no access from guest side to our family's space. And this still was extremely hard with a 3 & 5 year old that need to just be kids. I can't imagine anyone doing this with guests in the rooms next door. Kids get up at night - your guests won't be happy when they are woken up by kids crying or running down the hall to your room. And I can tell you that I was nervous at first just having guests in our house with our little kids and they were safe on our side of the house. I would never let guests be near my kids. And you have to have space for your kids to have their own space. We've been open over 10 years and many repeat guests have never seen my son except when he's out back mowing the lawn. He doesn't want to interact with guests and we don't make him. Our daughter interacts with some guests but they are guests who have become like family.
I would urge you to think about this for your kids sake (their emotional well being) as well as their safety. You don't know who the hell these guests are, keep your kids safe.

 

[TheBeachHouse]

One of my very good friends was horrified when we bought the B&B because she grew up in one.
She tells us they were made to sleep in the basement in the summer but had a lovely big house in the winter.
Rethink the house. Is there a family room or other removed room that can be made into a small seasonal apartment?
P.S. the B&B she grew up in is still operating. they can be a good investment.

 

[JBloggs]

We have a large B&B with a full apartment for us and our kids over the garage - no access from guest side to our family's space. And this still was extremely hard with a 3 & 5 year old that need to just be kids. I can't imagine anyone doing this with guests in the rooms next door. Kids get up at night - your guests won't be happy when they are woken up by kids crying or running down the hall to your room. And I can tell you that I was nervous at first just having guests in our house with our little kids and they were safe on our side of the house. I would never let guests be near my kids. And you have to have space for your kids to have their own space. We've been open over 10 years and many repeat guests have never seen my son except when he's out back mowing the lawn. He doesn't want to interact with guests and we don't make him. Our daughter interacts with some guests but they are guests who have become like family.
I would urge you to think about this for your kids sake (their emotional well being) as well as their safety. You don't know who the hell these guests are, keep your kids safe..

We have a large B&B with a full apartment for us and our kids over the garage - no access from guest side to our family's space. And this still was extremely hard with a 3 & 5 year old that need to just be kids. I can't imagine anyone doing this with guests in the rooms next door. Kids get up at night - your guests won't be happy when they are woken up by kids crying or running down the hall to your room. And I can tell you that I was nervous at first just having guests in our house with our little kids and they were safe on our side of the house. I would never let guests be near my kids. And you have to have space for your kids to have their own space. We've been open over 10 years and many repeat guests have never seen my son except when he's out back mowing the lawn. He doesn't want to interact with guests and we don't make him. Our daughter interacts with some guests but they are guests who have become like family.
I would urge you to think about this for your kids sake (their emotional well being) as well as their safety. You don't know who the hell these guests are, keep your kids safe.

"I would never let guests be near my kids."
We have had people breach the boundaries being nosy, like the "old man" I found in our kitchen, which we keep locked most of the time unless we are going in and out... ie in our innkeeper side of the house, and addressed him with a stern "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?" He replied "I was just looking around..." "THERE IS A PRIVATE SIGN FOR A REASON"
What if I was not there and this old man wandered into our daughters bedroom? We cannot possibly "patrol" the premises 24/7, and then we have to leave our family under lock and key? MtKeeper you found a terrific way to do it. Well done!

 

[EmptyNest]

We have a large B&B with a full apartment for us and our kids over the garage - no access from guest side to our family's space. And this still was extremely hard with a 3 & 5 year old that need to just be kids. I can't imagine anyone doing this with guests in the rooms next door. Kids get up at night - your guests won't be happy when they are woken up by kids crying or running down the hall to your room. And I can tell you that I was nervous at first just having guests in our house with our little kids and they were safe on our side of the house. I would never let guests be near my kids. And you have to have space for your kids to have their own space. We've been open over 10 years and many repeat guests have never seen my son except when he's out back mowing the lawn. He doesn't want to interact with guests and we don't make him. Our daughter interacts with some guests but they are guests who have become like family.
I would urge you to think about this for your kids sake (their emotional well being) as well as their safety. You don't know who the hell these guests are, keep your kids safe..

We have a large B&B with a full apartment for us and our kids over the garage - no access from guest side to our family's space. And this still was extremely hard with a 3 & 5 year old that need to just be kids. I can't imagine anyone doing this with guests in the rooms next door. Kids get up at night - your guests won't be happy when they are woken up by kids crying or running down the hall to your room. And I can tell you that I was nervous at first just having guests in our house with our little kids and they were safe on our side of the house. I would never let guests be near my kids. And you have to have space for your kids to have their own space. We've been open over 10 years and many repeat guests have never seen my son except when he's out back mowing the lawn. He doesn't want to interact with guests and we don't make him. Our daughter interacts with some guests but they are guests who have become like family.
I would urge you to think about this for your kids sake (their emotional well being) as well as their safety. You don't know who the hell these guests are, keep your kids safe.

"I would never let guests be near my kids."
We have had people breach the boundaries being nosy, like the "old man" I found in our kitchen, which we keep locked most of the time unless we are going in and out... ie in our innkeeper side of the house, and addressed him with a stern "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?" He replied "I was just looking around..." "THERE IS A PRIVATE SIGN FOR A REASON"
What if I was not there and this old man wandered into our daughters bedroom? We cannot possibly "patrol" the premises 24/7, and then we have to leave our family under lock and key? MtKeeper you found a terrific way to do it. Well done!
.

Well I guess we scared him off because he has not questioned or commented on our posts

 

[MtnKeeper]

We have a large B&B with a full apartment for us and our kids over the garage - no access from guest side to our family's space. And this still was extremely hard with a 3 & 5 year old that need to just be kids. I can't imagine anyone doing this with guests in the rooms next door. Kids get up at night - your guests won't be happy when they are woken up by kids crying or running down the hall to your room. And I can tell you that I was nervous at first just having guests in our house with our little kids and they were safe on our side of the house. I would never let guests be near my kids. And you have to have space for your kids to have their own space. We've been open over 10 years and many repeat guests have never seen my son except when he's out back mowing the lawn. He doesn't want to interact with guests and we don't make him. Our daughter interacts with some guests but they are guests who have become like family.
I would urge you to think about this for your kids sake (their emotional well being) as well as their safety. You don't know who the hell these guests are, keep your kids safe..

We have a large B&B with a full apartment for us and our kids over the garage - no access from guest side to our family's space. And this still was extremely hard with a 3 & 5 year old that need to just be kids. I can't imagine anyone doing this with guests in the rooms next door. Kids get up at night - your guests won't be happy when they are woken up by kids crying or running down the hall to your room. And I can tell you that I was nervous at first just having guests in our house with our little kids and they were safe on our side of the house. I would never let guests be near my kids. And you have to have space for your kids to have their own space. We've been open over 10 years and many repeat guests have never seen my son except when he's out back mowing the lawn. He doesn't want to interact with guests and we don't make him. Our daughter interacts with some guests but they are guests who have become like family.
I would urge you to think about this for your kids sake (their emotional well being) as well as their safety. You don't know who the hell these guests are, keep your kids safe.

"I would never let guests be near my kids."
We have had people breach the boundaries being nosy, like the "old man" I found in our kitchen, which we keep locked most of the time unless we are going in and out... ie in our innkeeper side of the house, and addressed him with a stern "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?" He replied "I was just looking around..." "THERE IS A PRIVATE SIGN FOR A REASON"
What if I was not there and this old man wandered into our daughters bedroom? We cannot possibly "patrol" the premises 24/7, and then we have to leave our family under lock and key? MtKeeper you found a terrific way to do it. Well done!
.

Well I guess we scared him off because he has not questioned or commented on our posts

.

Hope he sees it as construction input rather than trying to scare him off - if you ask input from people who have lived it, you should pay attention to it. Obviously they need to do what they want for their family, but I can't think of anyone who would want to stay at a B&B where a 3 year old was sleeping right next to them. Sounds more like an Air b b than a traditional one. And in response to what others have said -- my kids would rather die than run this B&B and it's extremely successful. They lived through us not being able to go to things because guests didn't check in when they said or the occasional guest who claims they booked for the wrong day and you can't get ahold of them and have been waiting around all night rather than going to the movies with your kids, etc. It can be very difficult on family life unless you gear your B&B to be a family based business and/or one that leaves notes and does self-checkins, etc. I guess it can work, but as the majority of posts said, it sounds unlikely from the get-go.

 

[Morticia]

Realize this has probably run its course but I was thinking of these points this morning:
Friends are raising their child in a B&B setting. Private rooms are on the other side of the house, away from guest rooms but guests are allowed into the public areas (living room, dining room). Kid was front and center as a youngster, less so as a teen. Jobs included greeting, showing guests to rooms, setting tables at breakfast. Lots of excellent reviews with kid front and center. Parents put kid first. Have help at all times. Take vacations every year. Do things together even in peak season.
Other friends, no longer in business, have three kids. All common spaces shared. You eat breakfast with the kids as they get ready for school. Kids answer door, help with luggage. Not sure of layout of guest rooms vs family bedrooms, but small house. They specialized in family getaways. Lots of beds in each room, toys, games, etc.
Our vacation: stayed at lovely inn. Three kids on premises. Kids had friends over. All afternoon, kids yelling in yard, running in house, being kids. Very annoying. Can't imagine what it's like all summer. However, very quiet at night. Other than playing outside, never saw kids. Family lived in basement.