Busing tables

[Madeleine]

Cell phones at the table tears me apart. I am sometimes guilty in that I have two new drivers one less than 6 months and one less than 6 days. So I keep it on me, next to me silenced so in the event there is a crisis (and there was one - flat tire on the interstate, couldn't get the lug nuts loose - she only weighs 109 # and didn't have the strength or the weight to break them loose, even though she knew what to do).
I was out, I excused myself and took the call.
But my kids know, as do my close friends and family, no cell phones at the table.
My kids also know a text is not an emergency, a phone call is.
Parents need to teach their children proper table manners, beyond using a fork and a napkin. Without such manners how will they survive in the real world?....oh my bad the rest of the real world is just as ill mannered.
Nope, mine learned when a cell phone is proper and when it is not. With that said, we do text and or call from within the house, but that is often an issue of trying not to disturb someone else in the house (and or get a dog barking).
Learn where the napkin goes, how to set a proper place setting, what fork to use for each course and where to put the utensils when done. Just something you should know by the time you are old enough to go to a fine dining restaurant alone. More parents should learn etiquette and teach it to their children..

Learn where the napkin goes, how to set a proper place setting, what fork to use for each course and where to put the utensils when done. Just something you should know by the time you are old enough to go to a fine dining restaurant alone. More parents should learn etiquette and teach it to their children.

Again, a test I would not pass. If I ever eat at a 'fine dining' restaurant I will look up the etiquette before I go. I have never eaten in a restaurant where I needed to know what fork went with what course. One fork, that's all I've ever had except maybe for a wedding where there was also a salad fork.

 

[Kay Nein]

We clear as they are finished. We try not to be fussing over the diners any more than necessary and will clear what we can and then wait awhile before we make another pass. We're asking if anyone wants seconds of juice or their coffee filled as we go around the room and definitely don't try to act like we are rushing anyone. Personally, when I am out to eat, I like for people to be attentive to our table and clear away dishes or trash. I don't want to spend my time talking over a table of empty dirty dishes.
I was not aware of the standard "I'm Done" sign with the cutlery. I will definitely be watching out for this in the future. Our kitchen is attached to the dining room and often the conversations include us as we clean up the kitchen, bus tables and attend to them, so our friendly discourse with our guests makes it easier to be a non-intrusive presence in the dining area.
As a child, we were not allowed to leave the table until the last person was finished eating. It was family time and that was our stopwatch. However, I think that a host clearing dishes is a different matter than a diner being respectful by not leaving their fellow diners before they are done.

 

[JBloggs]

Two trains of thought and I am caught in the middle.
Picture your table of three or four:
In Australia it is rude to remove the plate of someone who has finished while the others are still eating, or even one person is still eating. This means the rest sit there and stare at the person who is still eating, making them uncomfortable and rushed.
In America it is rude to leave a finished plate in front of a person who is obv done. Americans do not like dirty plates left on a table, and they might like to move their coffee cup or paper in front of them now.
Just as in Latin countries they will never offer the bill to you or deliver it to you, it is considered presumptious and forward, you are supposed to ask for the bill. In America they get fed up when the bill is not delivered when they feel it should be, when they are ready to go and have to ask for it.
So all that to say - go for your life, whatever you feel is right with your people.
Personally I remove the plates of the parties who are together, at the same time. So you know our layout one big table. I remove the couple over here when they are both done, and leave the other couple over there to continue eating. This may also be a situation where one couple comes down later and eats later, the others should not have to wait for them, they are strangers anyway. Some times our guests are too polite, they will not start or finish without the others, even though they don't know them...I have to have feelers out for this too..

Two trains of thought and I am caught in the middle.
Picture your table of three or four:
In Australia it is rude to remove the plate of someone who has finished while the others are still eating, or even one person is still eating. This means the rest sit there and stare at the person who is still eating, making them uncomfortable and rushed.
In America it is rude to leave a finished plate in front of a person who is obv done. Americans do not like dirty plates left on a table, and they might like to move their coffee cup or paper in front of them now.
Just as in Latin countries they will never offer the bill to you or deliver it to you, it is considered presumptious and forward, you are supposed to ask for the bill. In America they get fed up when the bill is not delivered when they feel it should be, when they are ready to go and have to ask for it.
So all that to say - go for your life, whatever you feel is right with your people.
Personally I remove the plates of the parties who are together, at the same time. So you know our layout one big table. I remove the couple over here when they are both done, and leave the other couple over there to continue eating. This may also be a situation where one couple comes down later and eats later, the others should not have to wait for them, they are strangers anyway. Some times our guests are too polite, they will not start or finish without the others, even though they don't know them...I have to have feelers out for this too.

But no one seems to think it's rude to be chatting on their cell phones during breakfast, or tapping away on their tablets, or, or, or... it's a conundrum, I tell ya.

.

Two trains of thought and I am caught in the middle.
Picture your table of three or four:
In Australia it is rude to remove the plate of someone who has finished while the others are still eating, or even one person is still eating. This means the rest sit there and stare at the person who is still eating, making them uncomfortable and rushed.
In America it is rude to leave a finished plate in front of a person who is obv done. Americans do not like dirty plates left on a table, and they might like to move their coffee cup or paper in front of them now.
Just as in Latin countries they will never offer the bill to you or deliver it to you, it is considered presumptious and forward, you are supposed to ask for the bill. In America they get fed up when the bill is not delivered when they feel it should be, when they are ready to go and have to ask for it.
So all that to say - go for your life, whatever you feel is right with your people.
Personally I remove the plates of the parties who are together, at the same time. So you know our layout one big table. I remove the couple over here when they are both done, and leave the other couple over there to continue eating. This may also be a situation where one couple comes down later and eats later, the others should not have to wait for them, they are strangers anyway. Some times our guests are too polite, they will not start or finish without the others, even though they don't know them...I have to have feelers out for this too.

But no one seems to think it's rude to be chatting on their cell phones during breakfast, or tapping away on their tablets, or, or, or... it's a conundrum, I tell ya.

Conundrum 101 indeed
We went to Applebee's and across from us were Mom, Dad and two daughters. They had appetizers brought out first while waiting for main meal, that sat in the center of the table. I could not help but tap DH on the table to look... Mom and Dad on one side, two girls on the other - one with cell phone on table as she texted like mad and was on FB, the other had it on her lap below the table, and texted like mad.
So picture the scene as both girls sat across from Mom and Dad and were entirely looking down the whole time. Mom and Dad sat there and stared off in space. What did I want to do? SLAP THE MOM AND DAD. Honestly, they looked like the fools! They WERE fools.
.

I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU! I hate what we have become ...a nation hooked on cell phones. Yes, use them when needed, but who is paying the bill for those kids to just sit there and text. I blame the parents. Wants vs needs??? Whatever happened to that???
.

I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU! I hate what we have become ...a nation hooked on cell phones. Yes, use them when needed, but who is paying the bill for those kids to just sit there and text. I blame the parents. Wants vs needs??? Whatever happened to that???

Part 2
Was in nearby city for appt.
A Grandmother is on phone and as all cell phone calls goes it is personal, and I get to hear all the details grandmother who has grandaughter there, is telling "mother" it was jusssssst loverly. So the no boundaries thing even means people speak aloud, in public, very private things. not good, not good at all. She is listening to the other end of the phone, doesn't care that everyone else can hear her, how can we not!

 

[Joey Camb]

Two trains of thought and I am caught in the middle.
Picture your table of three or four:
In Australia it is rude to remove the plate of someone who has finished while the others are still eating, or even one person is still eating. This means the rest sit there and stare at the person who is still eating, making them uncomfortable and rushed.
In America it is rude to leave a finished plate in front of a person who is obv done. Americans do not like dirty plates left on a table, and they might like to move their coffee cup or paper in front of them now.
Just as in Latin countries they will never offer the bill to you or deliver it to you, it is considered presumptious and forward, you are supposed to ask for the bill. In America they get fed up when the bill is not delivered when they feel it should be, when they are ready to go and have to ask for it.
So all that to say - go for your life, whatever you feel is right with your people.
Personally I remove the plates of the parties who are together, at the same time. So you know our layout one big table. I remove the couple over here when they are both done, and leave the other couple over there to continue eating. This may also be a situation where one couple comes down later and eats later, the others should not have to wait for them, they are strangers anyway. Some times our guests are too polite, they will not start or finish without the others, even though they don't know them...I have to have feelers out for this too..

Two trains of thought and I am caught in the middle.
Picture your table of three or four:
In Australia it is rude to remove the plate of someone who has finished while the others are still eating, or even one person is still eating. This means the rest sit there and stare at the person who is still eating, making them uncomfortable and rushed.
In America it is rude to leave a finished plate in front of a person who is obv done. Americans do not like dirty plates left on a table, and they might like to move their coffee cup or paper in front of them now.
Just as in Latin countries they will never offer the bill to you or deliver it to you, it is considered presumptious and forward, you are supposed to ask for the bill. In America they get fed up when the bill is not delivered when they feel it should be, when they are ready to go and have to ask for it.
So all that to say - go for your life, whatever you feel is right with your people.
Personally I remove the plates of the parties who are together, at the same time. So you know our layout one big table. I remove the couple over here when they are both done, and leave the other couple over there to continue eating. This may also be a situation where one couple comes down later and eats later, the others should not have to wait for them, they are strangers anyway. Some times our guests are too polite, they will not start or finish without the others, even though they don't know them...I have to have feelers out for this too.

But no one seems to think it's rude to be chatting on their cell phones during breakfast, or tapping away on their tablets, or, or, or... it's a conundrum, I tell ya.

.

Two trains of thought and I am caught in the middle.
Picture your table of three or four:
In Australia it is rude to remove the plate of someone who has finished while the others are still eating, or even one person is still eating. This means the rest sit there and stare at the person who is still eating, making them uncomfortable and rushed.
In America it is rude to leave a finished plate in front of a person who is obv done. Americans do not like dirty plates left on a table, and they might like to move their coffee cup or paper in front of them now.
Just as in Latin countries they will never offer the bill to you or deliver it to you, it is considered presumptious and forward, you are supposed to ask for the bill. In America they get fed up when the bill is not delivered when they feel it should be, when they are ready to go and have to ask for it.
So all that to say - go for your life, whatever you feel is right with your people.
Personally I remove the plates of the parties who are together, at the same time. So you know our layout one big table. I remove the couple over here when they are both done, and leave the other couple over there to continue eating. This may also be a situation where one couple comes down later and eats later, the others should not have to wait for them, they are strangers anyway. Some times our guests are too polite, they will not start or finish without the others, even though they don't know them...I have to have feelers out for this too.

But no one seems to think it's rude to be chatting on their cell phones during breakfast, or tapping away on their tablets, or, or, or... it's a conundrum, I tell ya.

Conundrum 101 indeed
We went to Applebee's and across from us were Mom, Dad and two daughters. They had appetizers brought out first while waiting for main meal, that sat in the center of the table. I could not help but tap DH on the table to look... Mom and Dad on one side, two girls on the other - one with cell phone on table as she texted like mad and was on FB, the other had it on her lap below the table, and texted like mad.
So picture the scene as both girls sat across from Mom and Dad and were entirely looking down the whole time. Mom and Dad sat there and stared off in space. What did I want to do? SLAP THE MOM AND DAD. Honestly, they looked like the fools! They WERE fools.
.

I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU! I hate what we have become ...a nation hooked on cell phones. Yes, use them when needed, but who is paying the bill for those kids to just sit there and text. I blame the parents. Wants vs needs??? Whatever happened to that???
.

Have a friend who just told her kids she was cancelling the cell phone contract as it is too expensive. ($2000/year.) One of them castigated mother and said she should get another job if she couldn't afford a basic necessity like a phone. (Please JB, don't burst a blood vessel reading that. I'm STILL too upset to even talk to my friend about it after hearing that.)
.

My mother would have said if you want a phone you pay for it yourself

 

[gillumhouse]

Cell phones at the table tears me apart. I am sometimes guilty in that I have two new drivers one less than 6 months and one less than 6 days. So I keep it on me, next to me silenced so in the event there is a crisis (and there was one - flat tire on the interstate, couldn't get the lug nuts loose - she only weighs 109 # and didn't have the strength or the weight to break them loose, even though she knew what to do).
I was out, I excused myself and took the call.
But my kids know, as do my close friends and family, no cell phones at the table.
My kids also know a text is not an emergency, a phone call is.
Parents need to teach their children proper table manners, beyond using a fork and a napkin. Without such manners how will they survive in the real world?....oh my bad the rest of the real world is just as ill mannered.
Nope, mine learned when a cell phone is proper and when it is not. With that said, we do text and or call from within the house, but that is often an issue of trying not to disturb someone else in the house (and or get a dog barking).
Learn where the napkin goes, how to set a proper place setting, what fork to use for each course and where to put the utensils when done. Just something you should know by the time you are old enough to go to a fine dining restaurant alone. More parents should learn etiquette and teach it to their children..

Learn where the napkin goes, how to set a proper place setting, what fork to use for each course and where to put the utensils when done. Just something you should know by the time you are old enough to go to a fine dining restaurant alone. More parents should learn etiquette and teach it to their children.

Again, a test I would not pass. If I ever eat at a 'fine dining' restaurant I will look up the etiquette before I go. I have never eaten in a restaurant where I needed to know what fork went with what course. One fork, that's all I've ever had except maybe for a wedding where there was also a salad fork.
.

Learn where the napkin goes, how to set a proper place setting, what fork to use for each course and where to put the utensils when done. Just something you should know by the time you are old enough to go to a fine dining restaurant alone. More parents should learn etiquette and teach it to their children.

Again, a test I would not pass. If I ever eat at a 'fine dining' restaurant I will look up the etiquette before I go. I have never eaten in a restaurant where I needed to know what fork went with what course. One fork, that's all I've ever had except maybe for a wedding where there was also a salad fork.

That is why we took our kids to lunch (could not afford dinner) at a restaurant in Philadelphia at a "towel over the arm" type fancy restaurant while in vacation. Our middle son had just graduated from high school and was dating a girl whose family was in the upper $$$ bracket. He thought it was education time. I did not want them embarrased in the future and also wanted them to see what good service should be.
Then when a cousin's daughter stated "This is a nice place!" - at Chi-Chi's! - I arranged to take her to a NICE restaurant for her birthday. We went to Sages Sages at the Raddison for a Sunday Brunch. We had an early reservation and it was nice that we were the only ones there. The waiter caught on quickly that this was a education run - when the salads were served, he presented a tray with forks tucked into napkins to her, saying, "Your fork, Miss." She did not feel that all eyes were on her so it was a time to learn what to do.

 

[Silverspoon]

Cell phones at the table tears me apart. I am sometimes guilty in that I have two new drivers one less than 6 months and one less than 6 days. So I keep it on me, next to me silenced so in the event there is a crisis (and there was one - flat tire on the interstate, couldn't get the lug nuts loose - she only weighs 109 # and didn't have the strength or the weight to break them loose, even though she knew what to do).
I was out, I excused myself and took the call.
But my kids know, as do my close friends and family, no cell phones at the table.
My kids also know a text is not an emergency, a phone call is.
Parents need to teach their children proper table manners, beyond using a fork and a napkin. Without such manners how will they survive in the real world?....oh my bad the rest of the real world is just as ill mannered.
Nope, mine learned when a cell phone is proper and when it is not. With that said, we do text and or call from within the house, but that is often an issue of trying not to disturb someone else in the house (and or get a dog barking).
Learn where the napkin goes, how to set a proper place setting, what fork to use for each course and where to put the utensils when done. Just something you should know by the time you are old enough to go to a fine dining restaurant alone. More parents should learn etiquette and teach it to their children..

I totally agree. Although my parents pulled themselves up through the depression and WWII, they made sure that every Sunday we all sat down to a set table, elbows off, goin-to-church clothes on, manners-expected dinner. I have always been grateful to have the self-confidence to sit down at any table, regardless of how many forks (and silverspoons

) and glassess are set, to enjoy a meal without feeling out of place.

 

[JBloggs]

Cell phones at the table tears me apart. I am sometimes guilty in that I have two new drivers one less than 6 months and one less than 6 days. So I keep it on me, next to me silenced so in the event there is a crisis (and there was one - flat tire on the interstate, couldn't get the lug nuts loose - she only weighs 109 # and didn't have the strength or the weight to break them loose, even though she knew what to do).
I was out, I excused myself and took the call.
But my kids know, as do my close friends and family, no cell phones at the table.
My kids also know a text is not an emergency, a phone call is.
Parents need to teach their children proper table manners, beyond using a fork and a napkin. Without such manners how will they survive in the real world?....oh my bad the rest of the real world is just as ill mannered.
Nope, mine learned when a cell phone is proper and when it is not. With that said, we do text and or call from within the house, but that is often an issue of trying not to disturb someone else in the house (and or get a dog barking).
Learn where the napkin goes, how to set a proper place setting, what fork to use for each course and where to put the utensils when done. Just something you should know by the time you are old enough to go to a fine dining restaurant alone. More parents should learn etiquette and teach it to their children..

I totally agree. Although my parents pulled themselves up through the depression and WWII, they made sure that every Sunday we all sat down to a set table, elbows off, goin-to-church clothes on, manners-expected dinner. I have always been grateful to have the self-confidence to sit down at any table, regardless of how many forks (and silverspoons

) and glassess are set, to enjoy a meal without feeling out of place.
.

SIDETRACK ALERT (just following the sidetrack theme here):
This is a blogger I really enjoy, if you read this make sure to get to the final line. It's about his Granny Perdue who bought into the convenience generation where everything came in a can, and then about her homemade potato salad:


Tater salad can sure spark some powerful memories. http://therevivalist.info/tater-salad/

 

[Anon Inn]

I was also taught the knife and fork set side by side on the plate to signal when you are finished. There is a thread on this subject on Ch ow hou nd.
Our first course is a fruit salad, so on the rare occasions when we get an extreme dawdler, I bring out the hot course and there is room on the tables to just set the fruit plate aside.
At the conclusion, I just ask: "Have you finished?" I bring out the coffee on a cocktail waitress sized tray, so I can top off their coffees at the end of the meal (if they would like a bit more), and take the plates at the same time.
Years ago when waitressing I was taught to always use a tray to carry items to and fro. Very handy, and much nicer than the plates up the arms. (never could carry more than three that way reliably anyway)
We also have a four top, a three top and two deuces.