Am I overly sensitive on this review?

[ElysianFields]

We received the review below yesterday and it has me stewing. We did miss the stuff in the drawer and I am not concerned about the breakfast comment but I really found the mention of my heart not being into it and "tension" with my 30 year bride insulting. Do you guys think this is a little over the top and personal or do I just need to grow thicker skin.
Newbie - first troublesome review. Our inn was 36 of 140 of New Orleans B&B's when we bought in August and we have moved to #13 so I guess we are doing it right.
And honestly, we cannot even figure what we may have said or done to put off a tense vibe.
I'm an avid b&b guy. I seek them out for my wife and I on our travels. We had stayed at this same b&b two different owners ago so we were told. I like its proximity to the quarter. Plus, now that Frenchmen street is hopping this made it better. I personally thought more could have been offered at breakfast. They seemed stingy. My wife and I also felt some tension between Michelle and Bob. I think Michelle could be a great host but Bobs heart didn't seem to be in it yet. The room was clean except for the drawer next to the bed had someone's old airplane snacks in them. The shower for this room is handicap accessible.
https://www.tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g60864-d265483-r358885756-Elysian_Fields_Inn-New_Orleans_Louisiana.html#

 

[Morticia]

Repeat guest, but not a repeat of yours. That's a tough row to hoe.
We dealt with that as well for 2-3 years as everyone told us how 'wonderful' the PO's were. Then the other guests started coming back telling us how stressed the PO's were and how they avoided coming back until they realized it was new owners.
All that to say, don't take it personally, even tho it's definitely personal.
If you are responding to reviews then thank them for staying, agree with how great the area is, say you'll up your game on the cleaning. IF you want to comment about the stingy breakfast you can say you've changed the offerings based on guest requests and then list a couple of things you serve. (Don't use the word 'stingy' in your reply, it will start trending.)
Ignore the personal attack as that will show other readers that this person had a grudge. Have your wife write the response if that helps. "My husband and I find innkeeping a wonderful way to meet people from all over the world. It's a joy to 'go to work' each day." If that's too sappy, tone it down. ;-)
Good luck!

 

[GoodScout]

The first troublesome review is the one future guests will read to determine what type of innkeepers you are. Don't blow it.
Don't be defensive. Thank them for their feedback. If you want to say you're still learning the ropes, tell them you'll evaluate your breakfast. Let them see you as responsive. I would diffuse the slight about "tension" with some humor. "We're not sure what type of tension your wife saw between us -- romantic tension, perhaps? Something like that. Tell them you've added checking all drawers to your room checklist and thank them for that learning.
My rule is always make your response a sandwich. A semi-serious refutation of the damaging portion, sandwiched between two compliments and/or thank yous.
"Thanks for saying Michelle was such a great host. Bob must have been a little sleepy the morning you were here. Oh, and thanks for teaching us to always check the drawers. We appreciate your help in making us great innkeepers, etc., etc."
Then hit publish, go mix a drink, and call them names behind their back.

 

[Morticia]

The first troublesome review is the one future guests will read to determine what type of innkeepers you are. Don't blow it.
Don't be defensive. Thank them for their feedback. If you want to say you're still learning the ropes, tell them you'll evaluate your breakfast. Let them see you as responsive. I would diffuse the slight about "tension" with some humor. "We're not sure what type of tension your wife saw between us -- romantic tension, perhaps? Something like that. Tell them you've added checking all drawers to your room checklist and thank them for that learning.
My rule is always make your response a sandwich. A semi-serious refutation of the damaging portion, sandwiched between two compliments and/or thank yous.
"Thanks for saying Michelle was such a great host. Bob must have been a little sleepy the morning you were here. Oh, and thanks for teaching us to always check the drawers. We appreciate your help in making us great innkeepers, etc., etc."
Then hit publish, go mix a drink, and call them names behind their back..

Love that! Romantic tension! Good one.

 

[Morticia]

Seems like your guy is an anomaly. Your other reviews show you as open and friendly and the breakfast is wonderful.
Deep breath. It's still 4 stars. That's above average.
Plus, you can console yourself that his grammar is bad.

 

[EmptyNest]

It's not that bad. You got a 4!
Follow the previous posters and just post a nice thank you and be done with it. You can't take it personally and you can't please everyone.

 

[JBloggs]

4 out of 5! Run with it.
Ignore those comments, and fight the urge to correct every wrong. Be mindful IF YOU DO then you will probably confirm what the reviewer is saying, so better left unsaid, hard to do, but better.
PS Welcome to the forum!

 

[Hillbilly]

I agree, its not worth the effort to go into detail on a response. The rating is 4 so be thankful they didn't go lower when choosing your rating. My DW has told me over the years that I need to "Kill them with kindness when a guest has a problem!" There is a lot of truth to that. Its hard to get upset with someone is being very nice to you. You can change someones bad attitude pretty quick when you kill it with kindness. So write a nice response and move forward to helping the next guest with a wonderful stay.

 

[Jcam]

plus Im not being funny but a not perfect review once in a blue moon isn't necessarily a bad thing - too many stella reviews and people don't believe them or think they are paid for so a good rather than excellent mixed in gives a sense of reality

 

[dumitru]

Finally my time has come to drop a link to an article on this topic
http://www.hermesthemes.com/respond-properly-online-hotel-reviews/

 

[2cat_lady]

Finally my time has come to drop a link to an article on this topic
http://www.hermesthemes.com/respond-properly-online-hotel-reviews/.

Thank you Dumitru for a ver informative article.
In our first season, I got a less than 'stellar' review that upset me. Like you, it was still a four star, but I wanted to be perfect. So, I let some time go by and made sure that I responded in a positive way. I thanked the guest for choosing us, brought to his attention the little extras tha I do for him and addressed his issue. Thanked him again and said we'd love to see him again if he was in our neck of the woods. I didn't offer a 'freebie'. But you can be sure, that his review is always in the back of my mind and I've let that experience help me grow better in our business. Shame on me if anyone ever brings up that one detail again.

 

[TheBeachHouse]

Seems like your guy is an anomaly. Your other reviews show you as open and friendly and the breakfast is wonderful.
Deep breath. It's still 4 stars. That's above average.
Plus, you can console yourself that his grammar is bad..

Seems like your guy is an anomaly. Your other reviews show you as open and friendly and the breakfast is wonderful.
Deep breath. It's still 4 stars. That's above average.
Plus, you can console yourself that his grammar is bad.

Haha, that was my take, too. When the grammar is incorrect, who can believe a guy?

 

[Morticia]

Finally my time has come to drop a link to an article on this topic
http://www.hermesthemes.com/respond-properly-online-hotel-reviews/.

Thank you Dumitru for a ver informative article.
In our first season, I got a less than 'stellar' review that upset me. Like you, it was still a four star, but I wanted to be perfect. So, I let some time go by and made sure that I responded in a positive way. I thanked the guest for choosing us, brought to his attention the little extras tha I do for him and addressed his issue. Thanked him again and said we'd love to see him again if he was in our neck of the woods. I didn't offer a 'freebie'. But you can be sure, that his review is always in the back of my mind and I've let that experience help me grow better in our business. Shame on me if anyone ever brings up that one detail again.
.

I've done freebies or discounts if they tell me in person about a problem. Not if the first I know about it is an online review.
And I'd not say online, "call us, let us make it right." Implying a discount or something for leaving a bad review. I don't want to set that kind of precedent.
Some guests you just don't want back because their attitude toward you in person was terrible.

 

[TheBeachHouse]

The first troublesome review is the one future guests will read to determine what type of innkeepers you are. Don't blow it.
Don't be defensive. Thank them for their feedback. If you want to say you're still learning the ropes, tell them you'll evaluate your breakfast. Let them see you as responsive. I would diffuse the slight about "tension" with some humor. "We're not sure what type of tension your wife saw between us -- romantic tension, perhaps? Something like that. Tell them you've added checking all drawers to your room checklist and thank them for that learning.
My rule is always make your response a sandwich. A semi-serious refutation of the damaging portion, sandwiched between two compliments and/or thank yous.
"Thanks for saying Michelle was such a great host. Bob must have been a little sleepy the morning you were here. Oh, and thanks for teaching us to always check the drawers. We appreciate your help in making us great innkeepers, etc., etc."
Then hit publish, go mix a drink, and call them names behind their back..

In addition, when my breakfast is mentioned, whether it is a praise or a criticism, I take the opportunity to 'manage future expectations' by listing our actual menu. So add something like, "Thank you for mentioning our breakfast. We offer an enhanced continental breakfast including freshly baked coffee cake, a yogurt bar, fresh fruit and gluten free cereal. In addition. we always offer a hot breakfast such as pancakes, scrambled eggs or oatmeal."
OR, if your breakfast that day was awesome and he's just a jerk, something like, "I remember that morning. We served crepes fambe' with grass fed beef hash and freshly squeezed papaya juice. As I recall, your eyes lit up as we lit the crepes tableside."

 

[JBloggs]

Finally my time has come to drop a link to an article on this topic
http://www.hermesthemes.com/respond-properly-online-hotel-reviews/.

Thank you Dumitru for a ver informative article.
In our first season, I got a less than 'stellar' review that upset me. Like you, it was still a four star, but I wanted to be perfect. So, I let some time go by and made sure that I responded in a positive way. I thanked the guest for choosing us, brought to his attention the little extras tha I do for him and addressed his issue. Thanked him again and said we'd love to see him again if he was in our neck of the woods. I didn't offer a 'freebie'. But you can be sure, that his review is always in the back of my mind and I've let that experience help me grow better in our business. Shame on me if anyone ever brings up that one detail again.
.

I've done freebies or discounts if they tell me in person about a problem. Not if the first I know about it is an online review.
And I'd not say online, "call us, let us make it right." Implying a discount or something for leaving a bad review. I don't want to set that kind of precedent.
Some guests you just don't want back because their attitude toward you in person was terrible.
.

And no one is being overly sensitive, it is like a slap in the face to read those words, especially when they speak about us personally, but...we are in the people business. They will look at the people more than the breakfast.
But to your point of "Some guests you just don't want back because their attitude toward you in person was terrible."
I had a strange thing this past weekend, I won't go into their background or try to understand it, but when I walked in to say good morning each morning at breakfast, they didn't just use their eyes to look me up and down, but they actually moved their whole heads in conjunction with their eyes. I was wearing overly modest apparel covered in my apron, so nothing to gawk at, and yet they both did it.
I am guessing they do this all the time, it is a habit of theirs and they think nothing of doing it. But looking a person up and down is pure rudeness and something you would see in the halls of a jr high school filled with teenage girls. It has happened with females before, and usually the really "done up" ones and you think aloud, wow that is so strange, they are beautiful (outwardly) and yet feel so insecure. (I am saying this and agreeing with you reading this now, that it is usually those who are really into their looks who are the most insecure). But this was the husband and wife, both. Am I not old enough? Not young enough? Not dressed up or down enough? Who knows.
All that to say, again, yet is is personal, it always is, and we have to expect this when people sleep in our homes and we serve them at our table.

 

[Morticia]

The first troublesome review is the one future guests will read to determine what type of innkeepers you are. Don't blow it.
Don't be defensive. Thank them for their feedback. If you want to say you're still learning the ropes, tell them you'll evaluate your breakfast. Let them see you as responsive. I would diffuse the slight about "tension" with some humor. "We're not sure what type of tension your wife saw between us -- romantic tension, perhaps? Something like that. Tell them you've added checking all drawers to your room checklist and thank them for that learning.
My rule is always make your response a sandwich. A semi-serious refutation of the damaging portion, sandwiched between two compliments and/or thank yous.
"Thanks for saying Michelle was such a great host. Bob must have been a little sleepy the morning you were here. Oh, and thanks for teaching us to always check the drawers. We appreciate your help in making us great innkeepers, etc., etc."
Then hit publish, go mix a drink, and call them names behind their back..

In addition, when my breakfast is mentioned, whether it is a praise or a criticism, I take the opportunity to 'manage future expectations' by listing our actual menu. So add something like, "Thank you for mentioning our breakfast. We offer an enhanced continental breakfast including freshly baked coffee cake, a yogurt bar, fresh fruit and gluten free cereal. In addition. we always offer a hot breakfast such as pancakes, scrambled eggs or oatmeal."
OR, if your breakfast that day was awesome and he's just a jerk, something like, "I remember that morning. We served crepes fambe' with grass fed beef hash and freshly squeezed papaya juice. As I recall, your eyes lit up as we lit the crepes tableside."
.

I've had to use the mgmt response too many times in order to explain the 'shared' bathroom. It just doesn't get thru.

 

[dumitru]

Personally I would hate for a hotelier to bring up in a public review some personal information about me, even if I leave a 3-4 star review (never did that before). So I always try to make the review about the property and the amenities, and not about the people running it or about the general "policy".
Imagine an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend revealing intimate details in public - that's just something you never do, no matter how hurt you feel, who did what, who ended what, etc. I don't want you posting on TA about the fact that I was snoring, that I forgot my dirty socks (happened to me once in Italy), etc. You should be the mature one and handle the situation correctly.
BUT SURE, if a review attacks you personally, it is incredibly difficult to keep your calm and wits. But please, don't reveal embarrassing stuff

 

[TheBeachHouse]

The first troublesome review is the one future guests will read to determine what type of innkeepers you are. Don't blow it.
Don't be defensive. Thank them for their feedback. If you want to say you're still learning the ropes, tell them you'll evaluate your breakfast. Let them see you as responsive. I would diffuse the slight about "tension" with some humor. "We're not sure what type of tension your wife saw between us -- romantic tension, perhaps? Something like that. Tell them you've added checking all drawers to your room checklist and thank them for that learning.
My rule is always make your response a sandwich. A semi-serious refutation of the damaging portion, sandwiched between two compliments and/or thank yous.
"Thanks for saying Michelle was such a great host. Bob must have been a little sleepy the morning you were here. Oh, and thanks for teaching us to always check the drawers. We appreciate your help in making us great innkeepers, etc., etc."
Then hit publish, go mix a drink, and call them names behind their back..

In addition, when my breakfast is mentioned, whether it is a praise or a criticism, I take the opportunity to 'manage future expectations' by listing our actual menu. So add something like, "Thank you for mentioning our breakfast. We offer an enhanced continental breakfast including freshly baked coffee cake, a yogurt bar, fresh fruit and gluten free cereal. In addition. we always offer a hot breakfast such as pancakes, scrambled eggs or oatmeal."
OR, if your breakfast that day was awesome and he's just a jerk, something like, "I remember that morning. We served crepes fambe' with grass fed beef hash and freshly squeezed papaya juice. As I recall, your eyes lit up as we lit the crepes tableside."
.

I've had to use the mgmt response too many times in order to explain the 'shared' bathroom. It just doesn't get thru.
.

I've had to use the mgmt response too many times in order to explain the 'shared' bathroom. It just doesn't get thru.

Me too. I had one reviewer private message me to apologize for having said the hall bath was shared.

 

[Morticia]

Finally my time has come to drop a link to an article on this topic
http://www.hermesthemes.com/respond-properly-online-hotel-reviews/.

Thank you Dumitru for a ver informative article.
In our first season, I got a less than 'stellar' review that upset me. Like you, it was still a four star, but I wanted to be perfect. So, I let some time go by and made sure that I responded in a positive way. I thanked the guest for choosing us, brought to his attention the little extras tha I do for him and addressed his issue. Thanked him again and said we'd love to see him again if he was in our neck of the woods. I didn't offer a 'freebie'. But you can be sure, that his review is always in the back of my mind and I've let that experience help me grow better in our business. Shame on me if anyone ever brings up that one detail again.
.

I've done freebies or discounts if they tell me in person about a problem. Not if the first I know about it is an online review.
And I'd not say online, "call us, let us make it right." Implying a discount or something for leaving a bad review. I don't want to set that kind of precedent.
Some guests you just don't want back because their attitude toward you in person was terrible.
.

And no one is being overly sensitive, it is like a slap in the face to read those words, especially when they speak about us personally, but...we are in the people business. They will look at the people more than the breakfast.
But to your point of "Some guests you just don't want back because their attitude toward you in person was terrible."
I had a strange thing this past weekend, I won't go into their background or try to understand it, but when I walked in to say good morning each morning at breakfast, they didn't just use their eyes to look me up and down, but they actually moved their whole heads in conjunction with their eyes. I was wearing overly modest apparel covered in my apron, so nothing to gawk at, and yet they both did it.
I am guessing they do this all the time, it is a habit of theirs and they think nothing of doing it. But looking a person up and down is pure rudeness and something you would see in the halls of a jr high school filled with teenage girls. It has happened with females before, and usually the really "done up" ones and you think aloud, wow that is so strange, they are beautiful (outwardly) and yet feel so insecure. (I am saying this and agreeing with you reading this now, that it is usually those who are really into their looks who are the most insecure). But this was the husband and wife, both. Am I not old enough? Not young enough? Not dressed up or down enough? Who knows.
All that to say, again, yet is is personal, it always is, and we have to expect this when people sleep in our homes and we serve them at our table.
.

How bizarre. Then again, to quote someone - there's nowt as strange as folk.
We generally look like the dog's dinner no matter how hard we try. But, I've seen your 'action' photos and you always look grand.
It's them, not you. We should all have a sampler made to hang on the back of the kitchen door.

 

[Morticia]

The first troublesome review is the one future guests will read to determine what type of innkeepers you are. Don't blow it.
Don't be defensive. Thank them for their feedback. If you want to say you're still learning the ropes, tell them you'll evaluate your breakfast. Let them see you as responsive. I would diffuse the slight about "tension" with some humor. "We're not sure what type of tension your wife saw between us -- romantic tension, perhaps? Something like that. Tell them you've added checking all drawers to your room checklist and thank them for that learning.
My rule is always make your response a sandwich. A semi-serious refutation of the damaging portion, sandwiched between two compliments and/or thank yous.
"Thanks for saying Michelle was such a great host. Bob must have been a little sleepy the morning you were here. Oh, and thanks for teaching us to always check the drawers. We appreciate your help in making us great innkeepers, etc., etc."
Then hit publish, go mix a drink, and call them names behind their back..

In addition, when my breakfast is mentioned, whether it is a praise or a criticism, I take the opportunity to 'manage future expectations' by listing our actual menu. So add something like, "Thank you for mentioning our breakfast. We offer an enhanced continental breakfast including freshly baked coffee cake, a yogurt bar, fresh fruit and gluten free cereal. In addition. we always offer a hot breakfast such as pancakes, scrambled eggs or oatmeal."
OR, if your breakfast that day was awesome and he's just a jerk, something like, "I remember that morning. We served crepes fambe' with grass fed beef hash and freshly squeezed papaya juice. As I recall, your eyes lit up as we lit the crepes tableside."
.

I've had to use the mgmt response too many times in order to explain the 'shared' bathroom. It just doesn't get thru.
.

I've had to use the mgmt response too many times in order to explain the 'shared' bathroom. It just doesn't get thru.

Me too. I had one reviewer private message me to apologize for having said the hall bath was shared.
.

I've had to use the mgmt response too many times in order to explain the 'shared' bathroom. It just doesn't get thru.

Me too. I had one reviewer private message me to apologize for having said the hall bath was shared.

Would have been better had they fixed the review!