Oh, let's add to the list....
Not just makeup on the towels, but red lipstick and smeared across.
Breaking items and not being honest enough to either own up to it, or have asked in the first place how to use something so that they don't break it.
Telling me of an allergy or intolerance just before breakfast (too damn bad! Have toast or a banana)
Blood on the sheets/mattress pad, etc. YUCK!
Pee on the sheets/mattress pad, etc. YUCK!
Not properly disposing of their Poise pad (panty liner for incontinence). It comes with a blue plastic pouch to dispose of it.... use it!
Guests who open the window that is holding the AC in.
Stealing anything, including water bottles and an banana to have later. It's stealing, no matter how you justify it to yourself.
I have USB chargers in every room and yet people insist on having four adapters in a row so they can plug in their own USB charger that is drooping off from the circuit because of the weight.
Going into private areas that are clearly marked as private, in two official languages.
Commenting online on private areas that are clearly marked as private because they are just rude.
Rude guests talking American politics at the breakfast table (especially right wing, since it upsets all my Canadian and European guests).
Guests asking private questions of ourselves and other guests. It's no one's business what your marital status is, how you know the person or frankly what sexual positions you like (yes... I've had it asked!)
Married guests who ask me how to find bars, clubs or saunas that they clearly shouldn't be going to and counting on my discretion to point them to their happy ending.
Guests who think that this is France and that we are French and that they want me to point them at: Bistros, but obviously not knowing what a bistro actually is; Creperies, because the locals haven't been to one since the 1970s but since we speak the language we must have them, go to them and of course have magnificient ones; and finally guests who seem to think that I can't be local because I speak English without an accent... damn it, I was born here, grew up here, live here, get over it!
Reviewers who lie and not just white lies, big fat ones! We have had two in a year.
Guests who think that the country just shuts down for the winter and we just go into hibernation. They are surprised that we are open year round, that we have guests year round and that we don't die each year at the end of autumn just to be reborn in the spring.
I'll probably think of a dozen more before the day is done..
Guests who expect that somehow a free street parking spot is going to be available. I live in a large metropolitain city with all kinds of parking restrictions!
Guests who expect that everyone is going to be happy to take foreign currency (inspite of it not being legal tender) and give them a great exchange rate. The banks take 3%, $2.50 per deposit and 75c to use a teller.... I'm going to be passing on that inconvenience, sorry.
Guests who ask the same question three times because they think if they ask it often enough, the answer will change. (See Albert Einstein re definition of insanity).
Guests who want me to plan their day and tell them what they will enjoy doing, eating, seeing and buying. I can help plan your day by making suggestions... I am not making decisions for you.
Guests who put cloth napkins on their plate that still has maple syrup (or anything else gooey) still on the plate.
Guests who take my fine china to their rooms without asking. That cup is $35 to replace and you are responsible for it until it returns to my dining room.
Guests who wear wet, muddy or snowy shoes into the house. Do you really want me wearing my muddy shoes into your house, because I'm coming over in two weeks and I'm walking through Mr. Ed's home before I come into your place.
Guests who leave personal items in the shared bathroom. It's shared space, shouldn't someone have taught you to be considerate by now?
Guests who stay in all day (and underfoot). We had one guy who was out of the house maybe 4 hours total on a one week stay. He even brought whey protein drinks so he would not have to go out for lunch or dinner. Sat at the shared PC all day long on FB with his friends. Finally convinced them to go out and they asked to coat check their jacket, so they came back immediately because it would have ruined the look.
Guests who ask you to book a specific restaurant that is really tough to book... a restaurant that doesn't often return it's phone calls.. a restaurant that calls you back the same day to reconfirm... only to not honour their reservation!
Yup... it's official, I need a vacation! 15 more days, 15 more day....
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