Let me hold your hand

[Morticia]

I'm being sarcastic. Guest comes down this morning for breakfast, looks in dining room, decides he doesn't like what tables are available and goes to sit in the living room. (I did not suggest he join another couple as I've had the misfortune of having other guests snubbed. Very uncomfortable.)
His wife comes down, says good morning to everyone then just mills around.
Other guests are getting coffee. The coffee and juice are all that's out on the counter. There is no other counter space where we are hiding the food.
I'm in the kitchen, 2 feet away, waiting for hot food to take to the tables and the guest says, "so, is this a buffet?"
I'm not really sure how to reply. There's no room anywhere to lay out food and Gomez is cooking up a storm behind me.
I explain we cook the food after you sit down and she makes a disgusted face and asks what we're cooking and when are we going to cook it?
No one reads so there's no sense writing anything down to explain how things work. We've tried telling guests to help themselves to coffee and we'll serve them breakfast only to hear, "we're not ready to eat, we're just going to sit here and relax."
And again today, it's one couple throwing everything off.

 

[Jcam]

we have this they say "oh we arn't in a rush" yes but the 15 people after you are or may be so we need you to make a decision now.

 

[Generic]

Okay, you are reluctant to try my seatings, so try this...

Get this http://www.staples.com/Staples-Vertical-Stand-Up-Sign-Holder-5-W-x-7-H-12-Pack/product_1604934 and make up a paper that says on both sides. Help yourself to coffee, juice and toast, breakfast will delivered as soon as it's ready. You sit, we serve. (When you serve, if they ask for more time, say "Sure, watch your plate for me.")
In GD big letters (lower case, never use upper case). There is no arguing about it, because the table is telling you that you sat, you ordered.

If you need to, add this to the lower corner...

 

[Morticia]

we have this they say "oh we arn't in a rush" yes but the 15 people after you are or may be so we need you to make a decision now..

we have this they say "oh we arn't in a rush" yes but the 15 people after you are or may be so we need you to make a decision now.

Yes! Exactly!

 

[Morticia]

Okay, you are reluctant to try my seatings, so try this...

Get this http://www.staples.com/Staples-Vertical-Stand-Up-Sign-Holder-5-W-x-7-H-12-Pack/product_1604934 and make up a paper that says on both sides. Help yourself to coffee, juice and toast, breakfast will delivered as soon as it's ready. You sit, we serve. (When you serve, if they ask for more time, say "Sure, watch your plate for me.")
In GD big letters (lower case, never use upper case). There is no arguing about it, because the table is telling you that you sat, you ordered.

If you need to, add this to the lower corner...

.

I have those plastic things on the counter. One for the cream (no, it's not milk) and the other for the juice (no, it's not iced tea). I would bet half the guests never see the sign as I watch them looking in the guest fridge for the cream.
Right next to the coffee is another little helpful sign that explains orange handled pot is decaf, brown handled pot is regular. "Are these both the same?" "Do you have decaf?"
Having cereal? Where would you, oh wise innkeeper, put the bowls? Next to the cereal? On the same shelf? Almost touching the cereal they are so close? No. You'd put them in the kitchen so guest has to ask for them.
My dad says I need to be more understanding. It's morning. They're in a strange place. They haven't had coffee yet.
No, I can't do seatings. I'm not dealing with 17 people trying to agree on what time they want to eat. Today we had two rooms done before 8. They were there, we were ready. Ok, on with the show!
We've asked about seating times when there are only a couple of rooms. "Do I have tell you NOW?" "I don't know." Or, one says 8 and the other says 9 and they argue about it. No. Argue in your room please. Leave me out of it! Or, "what's for breakfast? Is it worth getting up for?"
I'm just grousing. None of this really bothers me any more. It's just these two were a barrel of laughs from the get go with their "we're the only people in the universe' attitude.

 

[Jcam]

we have this they say "oh we arn't in a rush" yes but the 15 people after you are or may be so we need you to make a decision now..

we have this they say "oh we arn't in a rush" yes but the 15 people after you are or may be so we need you to make a decision now.

Yes! Exactly!
.

Also if doing a table menu don't do the mistake I let DH push me into - side 1 has a list of everything on the buffet - why? they can see it! then what they have to pick from on the bottom - take foreEVER fror them to get to that and then they may or may not have glasses on.
Needs to be a short list of the 6 things we do - BIG print for the don't have my glasses and that's it. To many people when Ive come for the order go what do you have - its all on the menu right in front of you.

 

[Generic]

Okay, you are reluctant to try my seatings, so try this...

Get this http://www.staples.com/Staples-Vertical-Stand-Up-Sign-Holder-5-W-x-7-H-12-Pack/product_1604934 and make up a paper that says on both sides. Help yourself to coffee, juice and toast, breakfast will delivered as soon as it's ready. You sit, we serve. (When you serve, if they ask for more time, say "Sure, watch your plate for me.")
In GD big letters (lower case, never use upper case). There is no arguing about it, because the table is telling you that you sat, you ordered.

If you need to, add this to the lower corner...

.

I have those plastic things on the counter. One for the cream (no, it's not milk) and the other for the juice (no, it's not iced tea). I would bet half the guests never see the sign as I watch them looking in the guest fridge for the cream.
Right next to the coffee is another little helpful sign that explains orange handled pot is decaf, brown handled pot is regular. "Are these both the same?" "Do you have decaf?"
Having cereal? Where would you, oh wise innkeeper, put the bowls? Next to the cereal? On the same shelf? Almost touching the cereal they are so close? No. You'd put them in the kitchen so guest has to ask for them.
My dad says I need to be more understanding. It's morning. They're in a strange place. They haven't had coffee yet.
No, I can't do seatings. I'm not dealing with 17 people trying to agree on what time they want to eat. Today we had two rooms done before 8. They were there, we were ready. Ok, on with the show!
We've asked about seating times when there are only a couple of rooms. "Do I have tell you NOW?" "I don't know." Or, one says 8 and the other says 9 and they argue about it. No. Argue in your room please. Leave me out of it! Or, "what's for breakfast? Is it worth getting up for?"
I'm just grousing. None of this really bothers me any more. It's just these two were a barrel of laughs from the get go with their "we're the only people in the universe' attitude.
.

I don't get half the answers. Don't do decaf (all the coffee, none of the fun). We do have some around, but we never brew it because we use it maybe 3 times a year.
I put the milk in a milk bottle, the cream in a creamer. I do, from time to time get asked and point out the the cream is in the creamer and they fall silent with the realization that maybe they Jeff Foxworthy would end up making fun of them on his TV show. The coffee carafe has the mystery word "coffee" on it. I admit they often have trouble finding the butter, but we hide it so well in full sight.

But I would still put the signs on the table, just so that I can point at them when they say they aren't ready. Maybe a small font for everything except the words "Good Morning" to draw their attention.
I know, people are asleep. Sometimes you just wonder if maybe they shouldn't be allowed to walk with scissors, even as an adult. But you have to lead them to water.

 

[Morticia]

Okay, you are reluctant to try my seatings, so try this...

Get this http://www.staples.com/Staples-Vertical-Stand-Up-Sign-Holder-5-W-x-7-H-12-Pack/product_1604934 and make up a paper that says on both sides. Help yourself to coffee, juice and toast, breakfast will delivered as soon as it's ready. You sit, we serve. (When you serve, if they ask for more time, say "Sure, watch your plate for me.")
In GD big letters (lower case, never use upper case). There is no arguing about it, because the table is telling you that you sat, you ordered.

If you need to, add this to the lower corner...

.

I have those plastic things on the counter. One for the cream (no, it's not milk) and the other for the juice (no, it's not iced tea). I would bet half the guests never see the sign as I watch them looking in the guest fridge for the cream.
Right next to the coffee is another little helpful sign that explains orange handled pot is decaf, brown handled pot is regular. "Are these both the same?" "Do you have decaf?"
Having cereal? Where would you, oh wise innkeeper, put the bowls? Next to the cereal? On the same shelf? Almost touching the cereal they are so close? No. You'd put them in the kitchen so guest has to ask for them.
My dad says I need to be more understanding. It's morning. They're in a strange place. They haven't had coffee yet.
No, I can't do seatings. I'm not dealing with 17 people trying to agree on what time they want to eat. Today we had two rooms done before 8. They were there, we were ready. Ok, on with the show!
We've asked about seating times when there are only a couple of rooms. "Do I have tell you NOW?" "I don't know." Or, one says 8 and the other says 9 and they argue about it. No. Argue in your room please. Leave me out of it! Or, "what's for breakfast? Is it worth getting up for?"
I'm just grousing. None of this really bothers me any more. It's just these two were a barrel of laughs from the get go with their "we're the only people in the universe' attitude.
.

I don't get half the answers. Don't do decaf (all the coffee, none of the fun). We do have some around, but we never brew it because we use it maybe 3 times a year.
I put the milk in a milk bottle, the cream in a creamer. I do, from time to time get asked and point out the the cream is in the creamer and they fall silent with the realization that maybe they Jeff Foxworthy would end up making fun of them on his TV show. The coffee carafe has the mystery word "coffee" on it. I admit they often have trouble finding the butter, but we hide it so well in full sight.

But I would still put the signs on the table, just so that I can point at them when they say they aren't ready. Maybe a small font for everything except the words "Good Morning" to draw their attention.
I know, people are asleep. Sometimes you just wonder if maybe they shouldn't be allowed to walk with scissors, even as an adult. But you have to lead them to water.
.

We go thru a lot of decaf. It's easier to make it first thing than have to drag it all out in the middle of breakfast.
The juice we have to label looks like iced tea to people who have iced tea for breakfast.
The cream looks like milk to people who want milk so we have to label it cream so they don't pour a pint of expensive cream on their cereal and then gag and ask to throw it away.

 

[Lee2014]

At the retreat center we had whipped ice cream for supper at the end of the line right in front of one of the men pouring coffee for the guests that evening. The unfortunate one would be asked over and over if it was butter…. until one guy got smart and wrote a sign that stated "Ice Cream" and taped it to the table cloth. That evening the first two people in line, looked at the huge bowl, looked at the sign, and asked, "Is this butter?" After everyone was served the man snatched up his sign and shoved it in his pocket…..

 

[Generic]

Okay, you are reluctant to try my seatings, so try this...

Get this http://www.staples.com/Staples-Vertical-Stand-Up-Sign-Holder-5-W-x-7-H-12-Pack/product_1604934 and make up a paper that says on both sides. Help yourself to coffee, juice and toast, breakfast will delivered as soon as it's ready. You sit, we serve. (When you serve, if they ask for more time, say "Sure, watch your plate for me.")
In GD big letters (lower case, never use upper case). There is no arguing about it, because the table is telling you that you sat, you ordered.

If you need to, add this to the lower corner...

.

I have those plastic things on the counter. One for the cream (no, it's not milk) and the other for the juice (no, it's not iced tea). I would bet half the guests never see the sign as I watch them looking in the guest fridge for the cream.
Right next to the coffee is another little helpful sign that explains orange handled pot is decaf, brown handled pot is regular. "Are these both the same?" "Do you have decaf?"
Having cereal? Where would you, oh wise innkeeper, put the bowls? Next to the cereal? On the same shelf? Almost touching the cereal they are so close? No. You'd put them in the kitchen so guest has to ask for them.
My dad says I need to be more understanding. It's morning. They're in a strange place. They haven't had coffee yet.
No, I can't do seatings. I'm not dealing with 17 people trying to agree on what time they want to eat. Today we had two rooms done before 8. They were there, we were ready. Ok, on with the show!
We've asked about seating times when there are only a couple of rooms. "Do I have tell you NOW?" "I don't know." Or, one says 8 and the other says 9 and they argue about it. No. Argue in your room please. Leave me out of it! Or, "what's for breakfast? Is it worth getting up for?"
I'm just grousing. None of this really bothers me any more. It's just these two were a barrel of laughs from the get go with their "we're the only people in the universe' attitude.
.

I don't get half the answers. Don't do decaf (all the coffee, none of the fun). We do have some around, but we never brew it because we use it maybe 3 times a year.
I put the milk in a milk bottle, the cream in a creamer. I do, from time to time get asked and point out the the cream is in the creamer and they fall silent with the realization that maybe they Jeff Foxworthy would end up making fun of them on his TV show. The coffee carafe has the mystery word "coffee" on it. I admit they often have trouble finding the butter, but we hide it so well in full sight.

But I would still put the signs on the table, just so that I can point at them when they say they aren't ready. Maybe a small font for everything except the words "Good Morning" to draw their attention.
I know, people are asleep. Sometimes you just wonder if maybe they shouldn't be allowed to walk with scissors, even as an adult. But you have to lead them to water.
.

We go thru a lot of decaf. It's easier to make it first thing than have to drag it all out in the middle of breakfast.
The juice we have to label looks like iced tea to people who have iced tea for breakfast.
The cream looks like milk to people who want milk so we have to label it cream so they don't pour a pint of expensive cream on their cereal and then gag and ask to throw it away.
.

One word... P-Touch

 

[Morticia]

Okay, you are reluctant to try my seatings, so try this...

Get this http://www.staples.com/Staples-Vertical-Stand-Up-Sign-Holder-5-W-x-7-H-12-Pack/product_1604934 and make up a paper that says on both sides. Help yourself to coffee, juice and toast, breakfast will delivered as soon as it's ready. You sit, we serve. (When you serve, if they ask for more time, say "Sure, watch your plate for me.")
In GD big letters (lower case, never use upper case). There is no arguing about it, because the table is telling you that you sat, you ordered.

If you need to, add this to the lower corner...

.

I have those plastic things on the counter. One for the cream (no, it's not milk) and the other for the juice (no, it's not iced tea). I would bet half the guests never see the sign as I watch them looking in the guest fridge for the cream.
Right next to the coffee is another little helpful sign that explains orange handled pot is decaf, brown handled pot is regular. "Are these both the same?" "Do you have decaf?"
Having cereal? Where would you, oh wise innkeeper, put the bowls? Next to the cereal? On the same shelf? Almost touching the cereal they are so close? No. You'd put them in the kitchen so guest has to ask for them.
My dad says I need to be more understanding. It's morning. They're in a strange place. They haven't had coffee yet.
No, I can't do seatings. I'm not dealing with 17 people trying to agree on what time they want to eat. Today we had two rooms done before 8. They were there, we were ready. Ok, on with the show!
We've asked about seating times when there are only a couple of rooms. "Do I have tell you NOW?" "I don't know." Or, one says 8 and the other says 9 and they argue about it. No. Argue in your room please. Leave me out of it! Or, "what's for breakfast? Is it worth getting up for?"
I'm just grousing. None of this really bothers me any more. It's just these two were a barrel of laughs from the get go with their "we're the only people in the universe' attitude.
.

I don't get half the answers. Don't do decaf (all the coffee, none of the fun). We do have some around, but we never brew it because we use it maybe 3 times a year.
I put the milk in a milk bottle, the cream in a creamer. I do, from time to time get asked and point out the the cream is in the creamer and they fall silent with the realization that maybe they Jeff Foxworthy would end up making fun of them on his TV show. The coffee carafe has the mystery word "coffee" on it. I admit they often have trouble finding the butter, but we hide it so well in full sight.

But I would still put the signs on the table, just so that I can point at them when they say they aren't ready. Maybe a small font for everything except the words "Good Morning" to draw their attention.
I know, people are asleep. Sometimes you just wonder if maybe they shouldn't be allowed to walk with scissors, even as an adult. But you have to lead them to water.
.

We go thru a lot of decaf. It's easier to make it first thing than have to drag it all out in the middle of breakfast.
The juice we have to label looks like iced tea to people who have iced tea for breakfast.
The cream looks like milk to people who want milk so we have to label it cream so they don't pour a pint of expensive cream on their cereal and then gag and ask to throw it away.
.

One word... P-Touch
.

One word... P-Touch

It won't work on the stuff that gets washed every day. That's why I have the signs right next to the items.
I am thinking of labeling the drawers, tho. And the fridge: open here (So many people pull the thing right across the floor trying to find where it opens.) Maybe the tea canister, too. And the hot water kettle: for hot water, press here, wait 4 minutes (I am amazed at the number of people who never turn the kettle on, think the water is hot all the time and then throw out the cold water and the tea bag. Just put the whole thing in the microwave! Which is probably how you heat water at home anyway.)
Really, I'm ok.
I have wonderful help this year. Things are clean. I have a little time in the afternoon. Life is good.

 

[Lee2014]

Okay, you are reluctant to try my seatings, so try this...

Get this http://www.staples.com/Staples-Vertical-Stand-Up-Sign-Holder-5-W-x-7-H-12-Pack/product_1604934 and make up a paper that says on both sides. Help yourself to coffee, juice and toast, breakfast will delivered as soon as it's ready. You sit, we serve. (When you serve, if they ask for more time, say "Sure, watch your plate for me.")
In GD big letters (lower case, never use upper case). There is no arguing about it, because the table is telling you that you sat, you ordered.

If you need to, add this to the lower corner...

.

I have those plastic things on the counter. One for the cream (no, it's not milk) and the other for the juice (no, it's not iced tea). I would bet half the guests never see the sign as I watch them looking in the guest fridge for the cream.
Right next to the coffee is another little helpful sign that explains orange handled pot is decaf, brown handled pot is regular. "Are these both the same?" "Do you have decaf?"
Having cereal? Where would you, oh wise innkeeper, put the bowls? Next to the cereal? On the same shelf? Almost touching the cereal they are so close? No. You'd put them in the kitchen so guest has to ask for them.
My dad says I need to be more understanding. It's morning. They're in a strange place. They haven't had coffee yet.
No, I can't do seatings. I'm not dealing with 17 people trying to agree on what time they want to eat. Today we had two rooms done before 8. They were there, we were ready. Ok, on with the show!
We've asked about seating times when there are only a couple of rooms. "Do I have tell you NOW?" "I don't know." Or, one says 8 and the other says 9 and they argue about it. No. Argue in your room please. Leave me out of it! Or, "what's for breakfast? Is it worth getting up for?"
I'm just grousing. None of this really bothers me any more. It's just these two were a barrel of laughs from the get go with their "we're the only people in the universe' attitude.
.

I don't get half the answers. Don't do decaf (all the coffee, none of the fun). We do have some around, but we never brew it because we use it maybe 3 times a year.
I put the milk in a milk bottle, the cream in a creamer. I do, from time to time get asked and point out the the cream is in the creamer and they fall silent with the realization that maybe they Jeff Foxworthy would end up making fun of them on his TV show. The coffee carafe has the mystery word "coffee" on it. I admit they often have trouble finding the butter, but we hide it so well in full sight.

But I would still put the signs on the table, just so that I can point at them when they say they aren't ready. Maybe a small font for everything except the words "Good Morning" to draw their attention.
I know, people are asleep. Sometimes you just wonder if maybe they shouldn't be allowed to walk with scissors, even as an adult. But you have to lead them to water.
.

We go thru a lot of decaf. It's easier to make it first thing than have to drag it all out in the middle of breakfast.
The juice we have to label looks like iced tea to people who have iced tea for breakfast.
The cream looks like milk to people who want milk so we have to label it cream so they don't pour a pint of expensive cream on their cereal and then gag and ask to throw it away.
.

One word... P-Touch
.

One word... P-Touch

It won't work on the stuff that gets washed every day. That's why I have the signs right next to the items.
I am thinking of labeling the drawers, tho. And the fridge: open here (So many people pull the thing right across the floor trying to find where it opens.) Maybe the tea canister, too. And the hot water kettle: for hot water, press here, wait 4 minutes (I am amazed at the number of people who never turn the kettle on, think the water is hot all the time and then throw out the cold water and the tea bag. Just put the whole thing in the microwave! Which is probably how you heat water at home anyway.)
Really, I'm ok.
I have wonderful help this year. Things are clean. I have a little time in the afternoon. Life is good.
.

Really, I'm ok.
I have wonderful help this year. Things are clean. I have a little time in the afternoon. Life is good.

Good help makes the difference! Where did you find them?

 

[Generic]

Okay, you are reluctant to try my seatings, so try this...

Get this http://www.staples.com/Staples-Vertical-Stand-Up-Sign-Holder-5-W-x-7-H-12-Pack/product_1604934 and make up a paper that says on both sides. Help yourself to coffee, juice and toast, breakfast will delivered as soon as it's ready. You sit, we serve. (When you serve, if they ask for more time, say "Sure, watch your plate for me.")
In GD big letters (lower case, never use upper case). There is no arguing about it, because the table is telling you that you sat, you ordered.

If you need to, add this to the lower corner...

.

I have those plastic things on the counter. One for the cream (no, it's not milk) and the other for the juice (no, it's not iced tea). I would bet half the guests never see the sign as I watch them looking in the guest fridge for the cream.
Right next to the coffee is another little helpful sign that explains orange handled pot is decaf, brown handled pot is regular. "Are these both the same?" "Do you have decaf?"
Having cereal? Where would you, oh wise innkeeper, put the bowls? Next to the cereal? On the same shelf? Almost touching the cereal they are so close? No. You'd put them in the kitchen so guest has to ask for them.
My dad says I need to be more understanding. It's morning. They're in a strange place. They haven't had coffee yet.
No, I can't do seatings. I'm not dealing with 17 people trying to agree on what time they want to eat. Today we had two rooms done before 8. They were there, we were ready. Ok, on with the show!
We've asked about seating times when there are only a couple of rooms. "Do I have tell you NOW?" "I don't know." Or, one says 8 and the other says 9 and they argue about it. No. Argue in your room please. Leave me out of it! Or, "what's for breakfast? Is it worth getting up for?"
I'm just grousing. None of this really bothers me any more. It's just these two were a barrel of laughs from the get go with their "we're the only people in the universe' attitude.
.

I don't get half the answers. Don't do decaf (all the coffee, none of the fun). We do have some around, but we never brew it because we use it maybe 3 times a year.
I put the milk in a milk bottle, the cream in a creamer. I do, from time to time get asked and point out the the cream is in the creamer and they fall silent with the realization that maybe they Jeff Foxworthy would end up making fun of them on his TV show. The coffee carafe has the mystery word "coffee" on it. I admit they often have trouble finding the butter, but we hide it so well in full sight.

But I would still put the signs on the table, just so that I can point at them when they say they aren't ready. Maybe a small font for everything except the words "Good Morning" to draw their attention.
I know, people are asleep. Sometimes you just wonder if maybe they shouldn't be allowed to walk with scissors, even as an adult. But you have to lead them to water.
.

We go thru a lot of decaf. It's easier to make it first thing than have to drag it all out in the middle of breakfast.
The juice we have to label looks like iced tea to people who have iced tea for breakfast.
The cream looks like milk to people who want milk so we have to label it cream so they don't pour a pint of expensive cream on their cereal and then gag and ask to throw it away.
.

One word... P-Touch
.

One word... P-Touch

It won't work on the stuff that gets washed every day. That's why I have the signs right next to the items.
I am thinking of labeling the drawers, tho. And the fridge: open here (So many people pull the thing right across the floor trying to find where it opens.) Maybe the tea canister, too. And the hot water kettle: for hot water, press here, wait 4 minutes (I am amazed at the number of people who never turn the kettle on, think the water is hot all the time and then throw out the cold water and the tea bag. Just put the whole thing in the microwave! Which is probably how you heat water at home anyway.)
Really, I'm ok.
I have wonderful help this year. Things are clean. I have a little time in the afternoon. Life is good.
.

Wash items with P-Touch labels all the time. In fact, it's one of my biggest complaints... food containers are marked with meals we freeze and someone (Voldemort) doesn't remove the labels. And wash after wash they are still there. Reuse it and it still has the label, until I remove the label.

 

[Morticia]

Okay, you are reluctant to try my seatings, so try this...

Get this http://www.staples.com/Staples-Vertical-Stand-Up-Sign-Holder-5-W-x-7-H-12-Pack/product_1604934 and make up a paper that says on both sides. Help yourself to coffee, juice and toast, breakfast will delivered as soon as it's ready. You sit, we serve. (When you serve, if they ask for more time, say "Sure, watch your plate for me.")
In GD big letters (lower case, never use upper case). There is no arguing about it, because the table is telling you that you sat, you ordered.

If you need to, add this to the lower corner...

.

I have those plastic things on the counter. One for the cream (no, it's not milk) and the other for the juice (no, it's not iced tea). I would bet half the guests never see the sign as I watch them looking in the guest fridge for the cream.
Right next to the coffee is another little helpful sign that explains orange handled pot is decaf, brown handled pot is regular. "Are these both the same?" "Do you have decaf?"
Having cereal? Where would you, oh wise innkeeper, put the bowls? Next to the cereal? On the same shelf? Almost touching the cereal they are so close? No. You'd put them in the kitchen so guest has to ask for them.
My dad says I need to be more understanding. It's morning. They're in a strange place. They haven't had coffee yet.
No, I can't do seatings. I'm not dealing with 17 people trying to agree on what time they want to eat. Today we had two rooms done before 8. They were there, we were ready. Ok, on with the show!
We've asked about seating times when there are only a couple of rooms. "Do I have tell you NOW?" "I don't know." Or, one says 8 and the other says 9 and they argue about it. No. Argue in your room please. Leave me out of it! Or, "what's for breakfast? Is it worth getting up for?"
I'm just grousing. None of this really bothers me any more. It's just these two were a barrel of laughs from the get go with their "we're the only people in the universe' attitude.
.

I don't get half the answers. Don't do decaf (all the coffee, none of the fun). We do have some around, but we never brew it because we use it maybe 3 times a year.
I put the milk in a milk bottle, the cream in a creamer. I do, from time to time get asked and point out the the cream is in the creamer and they fall silent with the realization that maybe they Jeff Foxworthy would end up making fun of them on his TV show. The coffee carafe has the mystery word "coffee" on it. I admit they often have trouble finding the butter, but we hide it so well in full sight.

But I would still put the signs on the table, just so that I can point at them when they say they aren't ready. Maybe a small font for everything except the words "Good Morning" to draw their attention.
I know, people are asleep. Sometimes you just wonder if maybe they shouldn't be allowed to walk with scissors, even as an adult. But you have to lead them to water.
.

We go thru a lot of decaf. It's easier to make it first thing than have to drag it all out in the middle of breakfast.
The juice we have to label looks like iced tea to people who have iced tea for breakfast.
The cream looks like milk to people who want milk so we have to label it cream so they don't pour a pint of expensive cream on their cereal and then gag and ask to throw it away.
.

One word... P-Touch
.

One word... P-Touch

It won't work on the stuff that gets washed every day. That's why I have the signs right next to the items.
I am thinking of labeling the drawers, tho. And the fridge: open here (So many people pull the thing right across the floor trying to find where it opens.) Maybe the tea canister, too. And the hot water kettle: for hot water, press here, wait 4 minutes (I am amazed at the number of people who never turn the kettle on, think the water is hot all the time and then throw out the cold water and the tea bag. Just put the whole thing in the microwave! Which is probably how you heat water at home anyway.)
Really, I'm ok.
I have wonderful help this year. Things are clean. I have a little time in the afternoon. Life is good.
.

Wash items with P-Touch labels all the time. In fact, it's one of my biggest complaints... food containers are marked with meals we freeze and someone (Voldemort) doesn't remove the labels. And wash after wash they are still there. Reuse it and it still has the label, until I remove the label.
.

Ok. Will try.

 

[MtnKeeper]

Okay, you are reluctant to try my seatings, so try this...

Get this http://www.staples.com/Staples-Vertical-Stand-Up-Sign-Holder-5-W-x-7-H-12-Pack/product_1604934 and make up a paper that says on both sides. Help yourself to coffee, juice and toast, breakfast will delivered as soon as it's ready. You sit, we serve. (When you serve, if they ask for more time, say "Sure, watch your plate for me.")
In GD big letters (lower case, never use upper case). There is no arguing about it, because the table is telling you that you sat, you ordered.

If you need to, add this to the lower corner...

.

I have those plastic things on the counter. One for the cream (no, it's not milk) and the other for the juice (no, it's not iced tea). I would bet half the guests never see the sign as I watch them looking in the guest fridge for the cream.
Right next to the coffee is another little helpful sign that explains orange handled pot is decaf, brown handled pot is regular. "Are these both the same?" "Do you have decaf?"
Having cereal? Where would you, oh wise innkeeper, put the bowls? Next to the cereal? On the same shelf? Almost touching the cereal they are so close? No. You'd put them in the kitchen so guest has to ask for them.
My dad says I need to be more understanding. It's morning. They're in a strange place. They haven't had coffee yet.
No, I can't do seatings. I'm not dealing with 17 people trying to agree on what time they want to eat. Today we had two rooms done before 8. They were there, we were ready. Ok, on with the show!
We've asked about seating times when there are only a couple of rooms. "Do I have tell you NOW?" "I don't know." Or, one says 8 and the other says 9 and they argue about it. No. Argue in your room please. Leave me out of it! Or, "what's for breakfast? Is it worth getting up for?"
I'm just grousing. None of this really bothers me any more. It's just these two were a barrel of laughs from the get go with their "we're the only people in the universe' attitude.
.

We do breakfast from 8:30 to 9:30, come whenever you like and this is with 18-20 people and it works great. Coffee bar is setup, help yourself - we tell them during the checkin walkthrough. I had pretty sign from coffee people on the front of the airpots and people would never see it and stand their waiting for Keurig instead of using our excellent brewed coffee. So I fixed that this month by ordering 2 new airpots and wrote in big letters with a sharpie "Regular Coffee" on both. It's stopped the Keurig issue. Breakfast is a 2 course offering. When they sit, they get a fruit course or a scone/muffin. These are all made and plated on the counter at 8:20 (so scones, muffins etc. are all baked and cooled by 8:15). Frittatas or egg soufflés are started to finish right at 8:30. If it's french toast or pancakes or waffles, then they are dropped for those guests as hubby takes first course out. So as soon as he brings in their first course, I can plate the second course. No one is ever waiting between courses for more than 5 minutes. If I have someone with an issue, then I plan to have theirs ready to go at 8:30 and if I have to hold it, then it's only an hour. I recently decided that those with issues are getting either oatmeal with fruit which I can have all made and holding or scrambled eggs, same thing. I've found that they are so appreciative that I've done something for them that they are happy and I'm no longer stressed trying to create a GF or dairy free version of what I'm serving - I'm much happier and less stressed. Although the guest the other day that was lactose, GF, allergic to all oils except sunflower they wanted to bring so I could cook with was what made me decide that you're getting oatmeal or scrambled eggs - hubby now knows to offer only one of those two items.

 

[Anon Inn]

Okay, you are reluctant to try my seatings, so try this...

Get this http://www.staples.com/Staples-Vertical-Stand-Up-Sign-Holder-5-W-x-7-H-12-Pack/product_1604934 and make up a paper that says on both sides. Help yourself to coffee, juice and toast, breakfast will delivered as soon as it's ready. You sit, we serve. (When you serve, if they ask for more time, say "Sure, watch your plate for me.")
In GD big letters (lower case, never use upper case). There is no arguing about it, because the table is telling you that you sat, you ordered.

If you need to, add this to the lower corner...

.

I have those plastic things on the counter. One for the cream (no, it's not milk) and the other for the juice (no, it's not iced tea). I would bet half the guests never see the sign as I watch them looking in the guest fridge for the cream.
Right next to the coffee is another little helpful sign that explains orange handled pot is decaf, brown handled pot is regular. "Are these both the same?" "Do you have decaf?"
Having cereal? Where would you, oh wise innkeeper, put the bowls? Next to the cereal? On the same shelf? Almost touching the cereal they are so close? No. You'd put them in the kitchen so guest has to ask for them.
My dad says I need to be more understanding. It's morning. They're in a strange place. They haven't had coffee yet.
No, I can't do seatings. I'm not dealing with 17 people trying to agree on what time they want to eat. Today we had two rooms done before 8. They were there, we were ready. Ok, on with the show!
We've asked about seating times when there are only a couple of rooms. "Do I have tell you NOW?" "I don't know." Or, one says 8 and the other says 9 and they argue about it. No. Argue in your room please. Leave me out of it! Or, "what's for breakfast? Is it worth getting up for?"
I'm just grousing. None of this really bothers me any more. It's just these two were a barrel of laughs from the get go with their "we're the only people in the universe' attitude.
.

We do breakfast from 8:30 to 9:30, come whenever you like and this is with 18-20 people and it works great. Coffee bar is setup, help yourself - we tell them during the checkin walkthrough. I had pretty sign from coffee people on the front of the airpots and people would never see it and stand their waiting for Keurig instead of using our excellent brewed coffee. So I fixed that this month by ordering 2 new airpots and wrote in big letters with a sharpie "Regular Coffee" on both. It's stopped the Keurig issue. Breakfast is a 2 course offering. When they sit, they get a fruit course or a scone/muffin. These are all made and plated on the counter at 8:20 (so scones, muffins etc. are all baked and cooled by 8:15). Frittatas or egg soufflés are started to finish right at 8:30. If it's french toast or pancakes or waffles, then they are dropped for those guests as hubby takes first course out. So as soon as he brings in their first course, I can plate the second course. No one is ever waiting between courses for more than 5 minutes. If I have someone with an issue, then I plan to have theirs ready to go at 8:30 and if I have to hold it, then it's only an hour. I recently decided that those with issues are getting either oatmeal with fruit which I can have all made and holding or scrambled eggs, same thing. I've found that they are so appreciative that I've done something for them that they are happy and I'm no longer stressed trying to create a GF or dairy free version of what I'm serving - I'm much happier and less stressed. Although the guest the other day that was lactose, GF, allergic to all oils except sunflower they wanted to bring so I could cook with was what made me decide that you're getting oatmeal or scrambled eggs - hubby now knows to offer only one of those two items.
.

Wow, for 18-20, you got it down!

 

[MtnKeeper]

Okay, you are reluctant to try my seatings, so try this...

Get this http://www.staples.com/Staples-Vertical-Stand-Up-Sign-Holder-5-W-x-7-H-12-Pack/product_1604934 and make up a paper that says on both sides. Help yourself to coffee, juice and toast, breakfast will delivered as soon as it's ready. You sit, we serve. (When you serve, if they ask for more time, say "Sure, watch your plate for me.")
In GD big letters (lower case, never use upper case). There is no arguing about it, because the table is telling you that you sat, you ordered.

If you need to, add this to the lower corner...

.

I have those plastic things on the counter. One for the cream (no, it's not milk) and the other for the juice (no, it's not iced tea). I would bet half the guests never see the sign as I watch them looking in the guest fridge for the cream.
Right next to the coffee is another little helpful sign that explains orange handled pot is decaf, brown handled pot is regular. "Are these both the same?" "Do you have decaf?"
Having cereal? Where would you, oh wise innkeeper, put the bowls? Next to the cereal? On the same shelf? Almost touching the cereal they are so close? No. You'd put them in the kitchen so guest has to ask for them.
My dad says I need to be more understanding. It's morning. They're in a strange place. They haven't had coffee yet.
No, I can't do seatings. I'm not dealing with 17 people trying to agree on what time they want to eat. Today we had two rooms done before 8. They were there, we were ready. Ok, on with the show!
We've asked about seating times when there are only a couple of rooms. "Do I have tell you NOW?" "I don't know." Or, one says 8 and the other says 9 and they argue about it. No. Argue in your room please. Leave me out of it! Or, "what's for breakfast? Is it worth getting up for?"
I'm just grousing. None of this really bothers me any more. It's just these two were a barrel of laughs from the get go with their "we're the only people in the universe' attitude.
.

We do breakfast from 8:30 to 9:30, come whenever you like and this is with 18-20 people and it works great. Coffee bar is setup, help yourself - we tell them during the checkin walkthrough. I had pretty sign from coffee people on the front of the airpots and people would never see it and stand their waiting for Keurig instead of using our excellent brewed coffee. So I fixed that this month by ordering 2 new airpots and wrote in big letters with a sharpie "Regular Coffee" on both. It's stopped the Keurig issue. Breakfast is a 2 course offering. When they sit, they get a fruit course or a scone/muffin. These are all made and plated on the counter at 8:20 (so scones, muffins etc. are all baked and cooled by 8:15). Frittatas or egg soufflés are started to finish right at 8:30. If it's french toast or pancakes or waffles, then they are dropped for those guests as hubby takes first course out. So as soon as he brings in their first course, I can plate the second course. No one is ever waiting between courses for more than 5 minutes. If I have someone with an issue, then I plan to have theirs ready to go at 8:30 and if I have to hold it, then it's only an hour. I recently decided that those with issues are getting either oatmeal with fruit which I can have all made and holding or scrambled eggs, same thing. I've found that they are so appreciative that I've done something for them that they are happy and I'm no longer stressed trying to create a GF or dairy free version of what I'm serving - I'm much happier and less stressed. Although the guest the other day that was lactose, GF, allergic to all oils except sunflower they wanted to bring so I could cook with was what made me decide that you're getting oatmeal or scrambled eggs - hubby now knows to offer only one of those two items.
.

Wow, for 18-20, you got it down!
.

We're all worthy. I used to fret and it would take me forever. Now I sometimes get into the kitchen at 7:30 and this is all done and ready because of more than a decade of practice and prep. I wish someone had run a class on this at a PAII conference when I was first starting. My husband sometimes comes in an asks what rabbit I'm whipping out of my a** today in 50 minutes or less - sometimes the kitchen is like a chopped champions food show. Maybe I just work better under pressure. Maybe I'm crazy, but the cooking is my thing so it all works.
Maybe this is a class that should be held for aspiring innkeepers!

 

[Anon Inn]

Okay, you are reluctant to try my seatings, so try this...

Get this http://www.staples.com/Staples-Vertical-Stand-Up-Sign-Holder-5-W-x-7-H-12-Pack/product_1604934 and make up a paper that says on both sides. Help yourself to coffee, juice and toast, breakfast will delivered as soon as it's ready. You sit, we serve. (When you serve, if they ask for more time, say "Sure, watch your plate for me.")
In GD big letters (lower case, never use upper case). There is no arguing about it, because the table is telling you that you sat, you ordered.

If you need to, add this to the lower corner...

.

I have those plastic things on the counter. One for the cream (no, it's not milk) and the other for the juice (no, it's not iced tea). I would bet half the guests never see the sign as I watch them looking in the guest fridge for the cream.
Right next to the coffee is another little helpful sign that explains orange handled pot is decaf, brown handled pot is regular. "Are these both the same?" "Do you have decaf?"
Having cereal? Where would you, oh wise innkeeper, put the bowls? Next to the cereal? On the same shelf? Almost touching the cereal they are so close? No. You'd put them in the kitchen so guest has to ask for them.
My dad says I need to be more understanding. It's morning. They're in a strange place. They haven't had coffee yet.
No, I can't do seatings. I'm not dealing with 17 people trying to agree on what time they want to eat. Today we had two rooms done before 8. They were there, we were ready. Ok, on with the show!
We've asked about seating times when there are only a couple of rooms. "Do I have tell you NOW?" "I don't know." Or, one says 8 and the other says 9 and they argue about it. No. Argue in your room please. Leave me out of it! Or, "what's for breakfast? Is it worth getting up for?"
I'm just grousing. None of this really bothers me any more. It's just these two were a barrel of laughs from the get go with their "we're the only people in the universe' attitude.
.

We do breakfast from 8:30 to 9:30, come whenever you like and this is with 18-20 people and it works great. Coffee bar is setup, help yourself - we tell them during the checkin walkthrough. I had pretty sign from coffee people on the front of the airpots and people would never see it and stand their waiting for Keurig instead of using our excellent brewed coffee. So I fixed that this month by ordering 2 new airpots and wrote in big letters with a sharpie "Regular Coffee" on both. It's stopped the Keurig issue. Breakfast is a 2 course offering. When they sit, they get a fruit course or a scone/muffin. These are all made and plated on the counter at 8:20 (so scones, muffins etc. are all baked and cooled by 8:15). Frittatas or egg soufflés are started to finish right at 8:30. If it's french toast or pancakes or waffles, then they are dropped for those guests as hubby takes first course out. So as soon as he brings in their first course, I can plate the second course. No one is ever waiting between courses for more than 5 minutes. If I have someone with an issue, then I plan to have theirs ready to go at 8:30 and if I have to hold it, then it's only an hour. I recently decided that those with issues are getting either oatmeal with fruit which I can have all made and holding or scrambled eggs, same thing. I've found that they are so appreciative that I've done something for them that they are happy and I'm no longer stressed trying to create a GF or dairy free version of what I'm serving - I'm much happier and less stressed. Although the guest the other day that was lactose, GF, allergic to all oils except sunflower they wanted to bring so I could cook with was what made me decide that you're getting oatmeal or scrambled eggs - hubby now knows to offer only one of those two items.
.

Wow, for 18-20, you got it down!
.

We're all worthy. I used to fret and it would take me forever. Now I sometimes get into the kitchen at 7:30 and this is all done and ready because of more than a decade of practice and prep. I wish someone had run a class on this at a PAII conference when I was first starting. My husband sometimes comes in an asks what rabbit I'm whipping out of my a** today in 50 minutes or less - sometimes the kitchen is like a chopped champions food show. Maybe I just work better under pressure. Maybe I'm crazy, but the cooking is my thing so it all works.
Maybe this is a class that should be held for aspiring innkeepers!
.

I agree. Just difficult because so many have different layouts, hours and ways of service, plus local regs can vary what you are allowed to serve. We looked at one early on where the county would have made us serve only prepackaged muffins and such. Yech.
I do think it helps tremendously to have restaurant experience in your background!