How do you deal with parents who get upset when you tell them you have an age limit for children

[Don Draper]

The best way to deal with it is just to be prepared to handle the i"why" questions. We raised our age limit form 8 yrs to 13 yrs our first year here and have never looked back. There are several nice b&b's in our area that do accept younger kids so I have their number on hand so I can refer to them, that usually softens the blow a bit.
Other than that I just explain that we are not set up for small children. Some of our rooms have space for an extra bed, and we can make exceptions to the policy as we see fit...you can usually get a good feel on the phone from the parents. Bottom line: Your house, Your rules. If they don't like it, that's just too bad. If you go back on your policies you WILL live to regret it.

 

[NW BB]

Do guests call and ask if you allow children or are they already prepared when they call by knowing you don't and wanting you to make an exception? We find that most of the 'make an exception for me' callers have failed to prepare and are now finding they cannot get accommodations where they REALLY want to be. So, at best, we are the 'fallback plan' so there is absolutely no buy in to our policies in regard to anything. Should an opening become available where they really want to be, they will cancel in a heartbeat.
However, we take kids of all ages, even tho we 'recommend' children who are able to sit still during breakfast and not run thru the house. We've had many a 2 year old who was wonderful and many an older child who was not. Babies make me cringe because you cannot quiet a baby at 2 AM if they don't want to be quieted. So we encourage those families to take the farthest rooms.
I just had a call from someone who wanted to put 7 guests (3 kids in that mix) into 2 rooms. I referred them elsewhere and they booked 4 rooms at the other place.
The best way to handle this is to state the policy and then shut up. Do not defend, do not justify, do not explain. Reiterate the policy if you are questioned. It's awful, isn't it, that the manipulators are the ones who make us question ourselves. And if we give in to them, they make us question ourselves later on for why we didn't stick to the policies to start with!.

The best way to handle this is to state the policy and then shut up. Do not defend, do not justify, do not explain. Reiterate the policy if you are questioned. It's awful, isn't it, that the manipulators are the ones who make us question ourselves. And if we give in to them, they make us question ourselves later on for why we didn't stick to the policies to start with!

Well said Bree! I totally agree. Do make sure whether it's legal or not in your state.

 

[NW BB]

A fellow innkeeper called our state up to ask the regulations. In our state, she was told that as an innkeeper you can choose what your occupancy is for each room. If the person/child has a heartbeat, that's considered a person. If you have a 2 person occupancy in the rooms, then they can not have a child. Of course if a parent were traveling with just the child, then you have the same problem, but rarely would that happen.
We have a separate cottage, and that is our kid friendly room. I don't encourage kids and most of the time they don't want to pay for the extra cost of the cottage so don't have problems. Also, I charge $30 for each additional person and yes....babies are people!

 

[gillumhouse]

In your location, it would definitely be no way, no how!

 

[Willowpondgj]

After a few years of allowing children we decided to change our policy to no children under the age of 7 (which we're debating on raising). It seems lately I've had parents questioning me and getting upset because of the policy.
How do you handle these calls when you get them? I feel put on the spot sometimes, but have learned to stick to my policy. We've been flexible in the past and ended up regreting it.

If you've regretted it, then don't do it!
I've regretted waiving my extra person charge, so now I only waive it for people who don't ask me to waive it!
It's your policy. Set it where you're comfortable. If they don't like it, they can stay somewhere else.
I have twin boys, age 5-1/2 (the ds5x2!). When we travel I peruse the inn policies and if they say they don't take kids, then I don't ask them to take mine. I would be dubious of people calling and asking me to bend my stated policies. Heck, even when the policy is that they take them, I have still called to make sure they are ok with mine.
Mine are raised in a B&B, and pretty well behaved overall, but they are still kids and I respect that kids don't fit the atmosphere of many B&B's. If someone doesn't respect that, you don't want them to stay there!
As others have said, simply state that your policy is to accept children over the age of x. Period. Don't explain, don't justify, don't elaborate.
I am annoyed when people say, "My inn is not child proofed." Well, neither is mine, nor has it ever been, even when they were little. Neither was any hotel room I ever stayed in with my kids. When they were babies I traveled with outlet plug covers and a pack-n-play. Mothers of babies constantly go into a world that is not baby proof and they simply watch their babies carefully while not at home. And "child proofing" only applies to the littlest ones... the babies that will put things in their mouths or stick their finger in an outlet. All that to say, "my inn is not child proofed" is not a valid reason for not accepting children. The fact that it is your policy IS!
We take kids (since we have 'em!). The other inns in my town handle these calls by referring them to me. Is there another B&B in your area that you could refer callers to?
=)
Kk..

I agree and disagree about the child-proofing thing. We have railings upstairs that are low by today's standards. I would worry about young children. Especially young, active children.
We have 12 and above for kids in our policies. We also have a max occupancy for each room, so I don't pack them in here. I have had people go on and on in email inquiries and on the phone about how well behaved their young child is. Seems like as soon as I ask them if sitting down for a 3 course breakfast with crystal, silver, and china would be something that their child AND the other guests at the table would enjoy, then fine. I guess they don't think so, because no one has booked yet.
I actually just referred a family with teenagers (who would have been fine) to a hotel with a pool. At the end of July it will be hideously hot and the teenagers will probably be a lot happier there for their several day visit.
.

Same here, we have a beautiful handmade decorative ironwork balcony and stair railing. A child could easily slip through or get their head stuck in it. No way we're replacing it, just to take little ones. Then there is the pond, it is an irrigation pond, no fence. We are also in the country, with livestock, essentially in our backyard, unattended children, no thanks. Our property is surrounded on two sides by an irrigation ditch, drowning hazard, and by law they cannot be fenced in.

Edited to show railings

 

[Willowpondgj]

In your location, it would definitely be no way, no how!.

In our defense we do take 7 and older, and we have a 10 and 16 year old at home. Kids really like our bunk bed room.

 

[Samster]

In your location, it would definitely be no way, no how!.

In our defense we do take 7 and older, and we have a 10 and 16 year old at home. Kids really like our bunk bed room.

.

Cute! Looks like a good set up!

 

[gillumhouse]

In your location, it would definitely be no way, no how!.

In our defense we do take 7 and older, and we have a 10 and 16 year old at home. Kids really like our bunk bed room.

.

Neat room and you do not need defense. There truly are places that the brats do NOT belong, nor the good ones either. Any place there are attractive temptations such as water or animals - as in farm animals - kids do not belong.
My Mother told 2 stories about me as a 2 year old. Her favorite cow had just had a calf within a couple days of the incident. After calving their teats are VERY tender. I walked up to Judy and tried to milk her. Mom expected a charge but Judy just looked over and did nothing while my Mom grabbed me. The other was the horses were hitched up for plowing and standing in the yard. I went under our horse and ran my fingers on her belly as I walked under her. The horse did not move. In both cases, it was a freak happening that nothing happened. Kids do not belong because as vigilant as my Mom was with me (#1 and everything was boiled, sterilized, etc until the day I ate from the friends dog dish with the friend's kids) - the 3 that came after got the oh well....- I managed to get where I should not have been.

 

[JBloggs]

Of course if a parent were traveling with just the child, then you have the same problem, but rarely would that happen.
We had a father with a young boy, I never like that, i wonder if they are on the run or something? Sorry too much 60 minutes watching. Any way...
We all thought was younger than what he actually was and as owners we were bamboozled into allowing him when they showed up late on a friday night sold out weekend for an area event. It was NOT a kid event, it had much drinking involved and in fact the other guests SPOKE TO ME about allowing this kid here. They were really put off! I had to explain the bamboolzlement we encountered. He sat right at the table on his dirty shoes discussing topics with the adults which they did not enjoy. I felt terrible. The pitch to his voice was, well decibels above a normal speaking voice, more of a shrill. And they rented the room with the bath detached, what a joy that was!

 

[Morticia]

After a few years of allowing children we decided to change our policy to no children under the age of 7 (which we're debating on raising). It seems lately I've had parents questioning me and getting upset because of the policy.
How do you handle these calls when you get them? I feel put on the spot sometimes, but have learned to stick to my policy. We've been flexible in the past and ended up regreting it.

If you've regretted it, then don't do it!
I've regretted waiving my extra person charge, so now I only waive it for people who don't ask me to waive it!
It's your policy. Set it where you're comfortable. If they don't like it, they can stay somewhere else.
I have twin boys, age 5-1/2 (the ds5x2!). When we travel I peruse the inn policies and if they say they don't take kids, then I don't ask them to take mine. I would be dubious of people calling and asking me to bend my stated policies. Heck, even when the policy is that they take them, I have still called to make sure they are ok with mine.
Mine are raised in a B&B, and pretty well behaved overall, but they are still kids and I respect that kids don't fit the atmosphere of many B&B's. If someone doesn't respect that, you don't want them to stay there!
As others have said, simply state that your policy is to accept children over the age of x. Period. Don't explain, don't justify, don't elaborate.
I am annoyed when people say, "My inn is not child proofed." Well, neither is mine, nor has it ever been, even when they were little. Neither was any hotel room I ever stayed in with my kids. When they were babies I traveled with outlet plug covers and a pack-n-play. Mothers of babies constantly go into a world that is not baby proof and they simply watch their babies carefully while not at home. And "child proofing" only applies to the littlest ones... the babies that will put things in their mouths or stick their finger in an outlet. All that to say, "my inn is not child proofed" is not a valid reason for not accepting children. The fact that it is your policy IS!
We take kids (since we have 'em!). The other inns in my town handle these calls by referring them to me. Is there another B&B in your area that you could refer callers to?
=)
Kk..

I agree and disagree about the child-proofing thing. We have railings upstairs that are low by today's standards. I would worry about young children. Especially young, active children.
We have 12 and above for kids in our policies. We also have a max occupancy for each room, so I don't pack them in here. I have had people go on and on in email inquiries and on the phone about how well behaved their young child is. Seems like as soon as I ask them if sitting down for a 3 course breakfast with crystal, silver, and china would be something that their child AND the other guests at the table would enjoy, then fine. I guess they don't think so, because no one has booked yet.
I actually just referred a family with teenagers (who would have been fine) to a hotel with a pool. At the end of July it will be hideously hot and the teenagers will probably be a lot happier there for their several day visit.
.

Same here, we have a beautiful handmade decorative ironwork balcony and stair railing. A child could easily slip through or get their head stuck in it. No way we're replacing it, just to take little ones. Then there is the pond, it is an irrigation pond, no fence. We are also in the country, with livestock, essentially in our backyard, unattended children, no thanks. Our property is surrounded on two sides by an irrigation ditch, drowning hazard, and by law they cannot be fenced in.

Edited to show railings
.

That is beautiful! I love that ironwork.

 

[NW BB]

Bottom line is that the parents are selfish. It's simply not fair to a child to try to stifle them the whole time. Kids need to have their time to run, shout cry and be kids. The parents are selfish because THEY want to have the environment of a B&B and to hell with all the other people or their kids. They need to find a kid friendly place or go to a hotel.

 

[SweetiePie]

Or get a babysitter, so they can enjoy their time - away from the kids.

 

[Proud Texan]

After we first opened, we too were suckers for a sob story by letting a couple with two "babies" come and stay.
We are a NO CHILDREN facility, but didn't have too much of a problem with this family as they would be our only guests that night and the two "infants" would be no trouble.
He arrived early in the afternoon and checked them in assuring us that everything was fine, the children would sleep in a pack 'n play etc. The wife and "babies" were visiting with nearby family so we didn't meet them until the next morning.
The next morning at breakfast, we were surprised to see that the babies were 3 and 4 year old talking toddlers. The parents had not brought food for them and had given no thought for their care while they ate. We were not prepared to feed toddlers and, by God, we were misled. I was fuming, but smiled and ended up babysitting while DW served breakfast. The parents acted as if everything was normal and ended up feeding the children from their plates. We might not have minded any of this had they been up front and honest with us in the beginning. I just hate getting lied to.
Never Again. NO CHILDREN NO EXCEPTIONS.

 

[Morticia]

Bottom line is that the parents are selfish. It's simply not fair to a child to try to stifle them the whole time. Kids need to have their time to run, shout cry and be kids. The parents are selfish because THEY want to have the environment of a B&B and to hell with all the other people or their kids. They need to find a kid friendly place or go to a hotel..

We just had a family of 5 walk-in last night. Even with cutting them a deal (we did as did another B&B) they still did not stay. They ended up headed for a place that charges $100/night including breakfast because that's all they wanted to spend.
So, not only do a lot of parents not care about the kids being comfortable, they also don't think they should have to pay for them to be housed and fed.
Parents on a tight budget should not be doing the walk-in thing anyway. They should know where they are going and how much it is going to cost and if the kids are free or not.

 

[gillumhouse]

Bottom line is that the parents are selfish. It's simply not fair to a child to try to stifle them the whole time. Kids need to have their time to run, shout cry and be kids. The parents are selfish because THEY want to have the environment of a B&B and to hell with all the other people or their kids. They need to find a kid friendly place or go to a hotel..

We just had a family of 5 walk-in last night. Even with cutting them a deal (we did as did another B&B) they still did not stay. They ended up headed for a place that charges $100/night including breakfast because that's all they wanted to spend.
So, not only do a lot of parents not care about the kids being comfortable, they also don't think they should have to pay for them to be housed and fed.
Parents on a tight budget should not be doing the walk-in thing anyway. They should know where they are going and how much it is going to cost and if the kids are free or not.
.

We did most of our traveling with 4 of the 6 in tow. Other than our first B & B which had me hooked to be an innkeeper, we usually went the HI route (as an employee I had 50% discount) and got a room with 2 beds. Girls got the bed one night and the boys got the floor, next night reversed. This was in the 1980s and early 90s. In 1986 my front desk manager had worked for a management company that managed the Back Bay Hilton in Boston. We had a room for 2 nights for $35 per night. I was a BUDGET traveler out of necessity - breakfast was a good meal because it was relatively inexpensive, lunch was sandwiches out of the ice chest, and we treated to a good supper. But my kids got to see a lot of the Country - historic sites, battlefields, museums, the cog railroad to the top of Mt Washington, and all sorts of historic buildings. As good as they were, I would NEVER have inflicted all 4 on a B & B after I knew what it was. (We had both rooms of the first B & B experience so we did not disturb anyone else - AND we separated the trouble-maker from everyone else.)